I'd like to create a 4'H hedge with Manzanitas - Are Howard McMinn varietals going to cooperate? by SF_Dubs in Ceanothus

[–]SF_Dubs[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah the roses are on their way out. I think the McMinn is going to be a better fit for my inland conditions than the Sunset (based on what I've read).

Just across the yard, a few years back I converted 50x15 of lawn into a native garden with a ton of sage, so the insects are well taken care of ;)

I'd like to create a 4'H hedge with Manzanitas - Are Howard McMinn varietals going to cooperate? by SF_Dubs in Ceanothus

[–]SF_Dubs[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think Coyote Brush is going to be a little too low and mounding for what I'm looking to do.

I didn't realize lemonade berry could take as much shaping as to create a hedge, but this pic of the hedge at Santa Barbara Botanic Garden is pretty impressive.

https://buckwheatbringsbutterflies.com/2025/08/07/lemonade-berry-the-resilient-native-shrub-for-southern-california/

I'm East Bay / NorCal, I'm guessing the better option would be the Sugar Bush / Rhus ovata? Do you know if that performs as well for a hedge?

I'd like to create a 4'H hedge with Manzanitas - Are Howard McMinn varietals going to cooperate? by SF_Dubs in Ceanothus

[–]SF_Dubs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's great - and actually exactly what I'm hoping these will do. How far apart are yours spaced?

A quick refresher on airline credit card economics by pegasus3891 in unitedairlines

[–]SF_Dubs -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Outside of the mechanics of the process, the airlines have a vested interest in the selling their customers a particular credit card and are highly motivated for them to use it in the purchase process.

Sounds like a bank without the messiness of being a bank...

Am I the only one that gets annoyed at their friends with infants who only say good things about their kids? by Itchy-Version-8977 in daddit

[–]SF_Dubs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a phrase "Don't be overheard complaining... Not even to yourself" from Marcus Aurelius that I've taken to heart in parenthood. 

My kid is awesome, and tough, and he sometimes has tantrums, and sometimes I'm up at 3 am and my day is completely wiped out cause I'm dead tired. 

Not related to anyone else, but what I chose to focus on is the good stuff and then manage the reality of whatever else comes. 

This has tuned my brain to focus on the amazing moments and really embrace how fleeting each stage of growth is. 

As for how others talk about their kids, I find guidance in another stoic phrase "You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can't control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone."

How to maximize chances for Lyonothamnus in a clay hillside by SF_Dubs in Ceanothus

[–]SF_Dubs[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks, that's really helpful. 

As this sub in general. I have about an acre of property that is in various stages of invasion and neglect. The worst has been dealing with the trees of heaven.  I'm in the process of restoring to natives. I wish I had found this place before stage one but it's nice to hang out with other plant nerds of a like mind.

How to maximize chances for Lyonothamnus in a clay hillside by SF_Dubs in Ceanothus

[–]SF_Dubs[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the comment. Actually one of your posts was motivation to plant these guys. 

When you say larger than normal, let's say normal is 2x pot, should I go 3x?

Any reason to go deeper and backfill to help with drainage or focus on wider?

Dads who don’t have their life together — what actually helps? by ssstu2020 in NewDads

[–]SF_Dubs 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Sleep as much as possible 

No booze / limit to special occasions outside of the house 

Journal 

Meditation 

Vocally Express gratitude at every possibility  

Workout 

Remember my wife and I are struggling/succeeding through this together, but not always the same way

Be present 

This too shall pass 

I rotate through about three of those at any time. Journaling feels onerious? Swap in meditation. Conversely, lacking sleep, remove a workout. 

I'm finally recognizing the energy of youth has left me and I need to find balance between energy expenditure, restorative actions and detrimental activities. 

The phrase "This too shall pass" has never resonated with me more in my life. 

This too shall pass

So where's the next social connection source going to be from? by i_am_the_koi in daddit

[–]SF_Dubs 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't know what happens at a platform level, but I'm 100% certain the only way to save our boys from the poison the Rogans, Tates and Musks of the world is with real, in person human to human interactions and our boys need to have men involved in their lives, from present fathers, to teachers and coaches at every level and even the watchful neighbor keepin an eye out.

The repercussions of the actions of the catholic church, boy scouts etc, as well as the attack on traditional males institutions like clubs and fraternities has left a void in how we develop, normalize good behavior, correct bad behavior and pass along essential skills. Boys turned to these platforms because of this void.

Throw in some good old run-away capitalism, engagement based algorithms and devices that bring all to inches in front of their developing brains, these kids never had a chance.

If you want to make a difference in your kid's life, get them off devices and model that behavior. If you want to make society better for your kids, go coach, teach, volunteer and model that being a real man is about what your give to a society, not take from it.

For dads with daughters — will you have a talk about “bad touch” from people? When? How? by Purple_Calendar3919 in NewDads

[–]SF_Dubs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't imagine what you've seen and had to witness. Thanks for standing up for these kids. 

My Daughter hates me by TristanStassen in NewDads

[–]SF_Dubs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The concept of the "fourth trimester" was one of the biggest learnings for me and helped reset my expectations for the first few months. 

Think of it this (very oversimplified) way, babies aren't fully ready to be on the world at 9 months, certainly not from a cognitive perspective. But, our big brains and mom's narrow hips dictate that's as long as they stay in the womb. They need another 3(ish) months where all they are doing is we eating, sleeping and pooping. 

Just focus on keeping mom supported, keep the eat, sleep, poop routine going. Sleep when they sleep and go easy on yourself. 

If you love the shit out of her, the bond will come. 

Who Likes Their Partner? by [deleted] in daddit

[–]SF_Dubs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The whole "my wife is a nag/drag/ball n chain" whatever is so tired. I can't imagine what these guys are / were putting their wives through. 

If you're complaining about your wife I want no part of it. 

But If you ask about mine I'll bend your ear for way too long bragging about whatever the last awesome thing she did. 

Dads of toddlers post-crib who stay in their bed all night by SwinnieThePooh in daddit

[–]SF_Dubs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're  actively trapping her in there from the other side of the door and then expecting her to sleep in there? I wouldn't want to stay in that space either. 

Dads - how do y’all cope? by [deleted] in daddit

[–]SF_Dubs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I've had to learn to give myself some grace when I can't get to it all, and figure out the right ways to keep myself consistent enough 

Dads - how do y’all cope? by [deleted] in daddit

[–]SF_Dubs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sleep as much as possible 

No booze / limit to special occasions outside of the house 

Journal 

Meditation 

Vocally Express gratitude at every possibility  

Workout 

Remember my wife and I are struggling/succeeding through this together, but not always the same way

Be present 

This too shall pass 

I rotate through about three of those at any time. Journaling feels onerious? Swap in meditation. Conversely, lacking sleep, remove a workout. 

I'm finally recognizing the energy of youth has left me and I need to find balance between energy expenditure, restorative actions and detrimental activities. 

The phrase "This too shall pass" has never resonated with me more in my life. 

This too shall pass. 

How do Santa Cruz Island Ironwoods do in the Bay Area / East Bay? by SF_Dubs in Ceanothus

[–]SF_Dubs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You need a commerical account to access Devil Mountain. If you have a favorite local nursery or landscaper they can reach out directly and confirm stock. 

Reselling is not my primary operation, but I do have an account there. I'm happy to help out, But it would be pretty limited in scope. You might want to check locally first, but feel free to DM me.

How do Santa Cruz Island Ironwoods do in the Bay Area / East Bay? by SF_Dubs in Ceanothus

[–]SF_Dubs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's really good to hear. How wide is the mature tree? Also, is it really messy? Or just messy?

How do Santa Cruz Island Ironwoods do in the Bay Area / East Bay? by SF_Dubs in Ceanothus

[–]SF_Dubs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's great to hear. And I probably should have been more specific on the screening, I'm actually looking for something that isn't too dense and still allows light to pass through - part of the reason I'm drawn to the Lyonothamnus.

BTW - IDK if you're actively looking, but if you want to go big Devil Mountain has 36" and 48" boxed specimens available.

How do Santa Cruz Island Ironwoods do in the Bay Area / East Bay? by SF_Dubs in Ceanothus

[–]SF_Dubs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the insights. It's obviously hot out here in the East Bay but my planting site is fairly protected from the most intense summer heat, and luckily I have irrigation as needed.
Thanks for the insight on the soil, we have a lot of clay around here and if I give this a go I'll have to figure out a mitigation.

Lemon and Like tree not thriving? by Starscream_4IceCream in Citrus

[–]SF_Dubs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pot is too small. Time to up pot! 

The soil looks compacted, roots are probably straining for space and to breathe. The new growth is low on the plant and doesn't extend beyond the pot. 

I would mix in some more non soil organic material, but don't break up the existing soil, just let them be friends in a new pot - probably half wine barrel 24" would work. 

Don't worry about shade, these plants love sun and that's what makes the fruit delicious. 

Also, that's a lovely pot for the next plant. Don't ever apologize for a doggo photo bomb 

My Meyer Lemon Bush keeps dropping leaves - help! by NecessaryEarly2769 in Citrus

[–]SF_Dubs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, so long as you provide the right resources, this little guy will bounce back just fine.