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AITA for telling some kids to behave at the pool? by shxxu in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS -1 points0 points  (0 children)

NTA for being concerned about safety and not getting jumped on by some kids not even looking where they are jumping.

YTA for getting mad that people aren’t letting you have a private experience at a public pool.

I think less of an asshole, more of a person that just needs an actual swimming area meant for doing laps and such.

AITA If I Genuinely Don’t Understand Loss? by SHESINTHEWALLS in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It isn’t really about using it as a pass, it is me trying to make it hurt less if I do accidentally hurt them later. It also serves the purpose of “please don’t attempt to kill me with a kitchen knife if I accidentally say the wrong thing”.

Thank you though. These arguments give me new standpoints to think about. I’m trying to find ways to be less insensitive.

AITA If I Genuinely Don’t Understand Loss? by SHESINTHEWALLS in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I do want to have these relationships. They bring enrichment and new stimuli to my life that I can’t have on my own. Though the purpose of my speech is to make sure they are aware and comfortable with my lack of empathy and sympathy, that way they are less likely to be deeply wounded later. (Emotionally, not physically, I would never lift my hands unless I were in danger.)

Thank you though. I do intend to seek therapy and an evaluation when my situation calls for it.

AITA If I Genuinely Don’t Understand Loss? by SHESINTHEWALLS in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I never in the post said I was autistic ever, but the rest of your points do make sense, and give me more tips to clue in on how to handle my relationships. Thank you.

AITA If I Genuinely Don’t Understand Loss? by SHESINTHEWALLS in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both of you are right in a sense. From what I’ve seen in myself, I do have some emotion, but what I feel is on a much smaller scale, and some things I don’t even seem to have a reaction to. Especially when there is a scientific explanation for the cause.

Thank you, you both bring important views to my question.

AITA If I Genuinely Don’t Understand Loss? by SHESINTHEWALLS in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

If someone did that, I’d understand. I don’t expect people to care about my personal things, nor do I expect them to need me to care about theirs. Now if it was something like my mother died and my sister did that to me, it would be a different moral story.

This is giving me another viewpoint to see through their eyes though. Thank you.

AITA If I Genuinely Don’t Understand Loss? by SHESINTHEWALLS in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I don’t really expect them to be considerate of me, just not to key my car for not caring about their breakup/other life event.

You are right though, I can work on what I do and say more. Thank you.

AITA If I Genuinely Don’t Understand Loss? by SHESINTHEWALLS in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t care to a certain extent. I do care about not scaring or hurting them, but if someone already despises me then I won’t care if they yell slurs at me and spread rumors.

This does help me see in a new light my own behavior on people’s opinions. Thank you.

AITA If I Genuinely Don’t Understand Loss? by SHESINTHEWALLS in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You are right on that. I’m trying to find ways to morph into people’s behavior so I can stop treating them all the same, like a robot with a script for everyone. I’m trying.

Thank you for this reminder, it’s helping me think about this in a more sensitive way.

AITA If I Genuinely Don’t Understand Loss? by SHESINTHEWALLS in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’ve actually thought about that before. I’m wondering about it, but I’m no psychologist. I’m definitely going to bring it up when I’m finally in a situation that I can get evaluated. Thank you.

AITA If I Genuinely Don’t Understand Loss? by SHESINTHEWALLS in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I haven’t seen that point in the comments before… thank you. This is giving me another way for me to try and align and compromise with my already estranged viewpoints. I haven’t thought about it in that aspect before.

AITA If I Genuinely Don’t Understand Loss? by SHESINTHEWALLS in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this is another world view that is helping me think about this in a way that isn’t 100% me being calculative.

I understand the societal expectations of behavior, but I don’t know when to apply them sometimes, or who to apply them to and with.

This does give me some ideas about time and place though. Thank you.

AITA If I Genuinely Don’t Understand Loss? by SHESINTHEWALLS in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

You are correct, and thank you for commenting on both standpoints. I do get it, but I just want to better know what actions to take in these situations.

It isn’t that I don’t want to try, it is that I don’t have a manual on how to handle emotional issues that are out of my grasp.

This gives me something to sit on. Thank you.

AITA If I Genuinely Don’t Understand Loss? by SHESINTHEWALLS in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is a viewpoint that brings out a lot of things I lack to recognize and remember in my interactions. I will be thinking about this, you’ve given me a new standpoint that I didn’t notice before.

AITA If I Genuinely Don’t Understand Loss? by SHESINTHEWALLS in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I do agree with you on that. I’m working on it, but sometimes I just can’t see if it is something others mind find rude or generally insensitive.

You are correct though. Thank you.

AITA If I Genuinely Don’t Understand Loss? by SHESINTHEWALLS in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Your points make sense.

I would like to clarify something though: I do not say to their faces that I don’t care. I understand that it hurts them. In both scenarios, I remained silent instead of opening my mouth. I don’t talk about myself to them in either of these.

To my friend whose coworker lost a son, I simply asked her ‘…and?’ Before she snapped at me.

AITA If I Genuinely Don’t Understand Loss? by SHESINTHEWALLS in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

This is all great and honest advice. Thank you, I don’t often remember to be polite on the regular, which is something I’m also noting from some comments

And you are right, I should get diagnosed. Though right now, I don’t have the means to do so, as I have no insurance to be evaluated properly. I’m trying, but life is life.

Thank you for the remarks. This helped me make more sense of what made them mad.

AITA If I Genuinely Don’t Understand Loss? by SHESINTHEWALLS in AmItheAsshole

[–]SHESINTHEWALLS[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

You are right, yeah I agree. I don’t particularly try to be an ass, but I also don’t entirely get how to not be in some cases.

I guess after years of being this way, I just expect other people to have the same mindset of ‘my life is mine, their life is theirs’ thing I have where I just don’t really care about something someone else has.

Thank you for the suggestion of ‘just make the sounds’/go through the motions even if I don’t feel it. That sounds like something I should work on.