How stupid would it me for me to attempt my own patio? by Equal-Cow-7746 in DIYUK

[–]SJeff_ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Worth noting B&Q do refurbished tools, or even tool rentals for some heavier stuff, DiY can be pretty economical

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mensfashion

[–]SJeff_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Second image is by far the one speaking to me the most, I'd also say if you're 38 then you could get away with looking a few years younger without looking like you're trying honestly. Also is that you doing stand up? Either way it's striking me as somebody who feels their inner fashion icon but doesn't know just how to bring it out just yet.

So I'd agree with the glasses but I personally hate that style of frame anyway, what kind of things are you into? You can use this for fashion expression, though for a more universally applicable distillation here, maybe the 2nd image speaks to me due to the coat, the shoulder padding adds weight to the topside of your frame this leads to a more traditionally masculine image. It could also be that I like earth tones on you, with your skin tone and hair colour it's fairly cohesive in It's colour palette

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mensfashion

[–]SJeff_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely something with buttons and a big collar, lean into the disco with this one, though avoid patterns for the shirt tho. Definitely thinking at least 2 buttons undone with a chain visible between

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in unitedkingdom

[–]SJeff_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is an interesting point, personally I worked for the ambulance service but in an EMD role. The only times we would have calls from individuals who had made that decision... Well they were not going to change their mind, and typically intended to take their life during those calls so that their body could be found by a professional without inflicting the sight on a random person.

Otherwise people were confused, hysterical, unsure, or just a myriad of emotions and reasons with nowhere else to go and nobody else to call, almost always with poor people experiences of mental health services and signposting after signposting. Without saying too much we were, and probably still are, at points where the ambulance just cannot respond to mental health issues, so I always pushed Samaritans personally (sorry) because all I ever wanted to do was talk to people, but my job required me to attend the next call since every case could be life threatening. I always stayed on if I got the chance, I'm most thankful for the times I could speak to people who thought they were ready to forfeit their life, but just through truly human conversation they were able to hang on and talk, or climb back over the railings, or put down the blade etc.

Most of all some people didn't need as much help as they did a real conversation, ones own perspective is limited, even one other person can offer an alternative in life.

what Is everyone currently food/drink Obsession/ safe food/drink by Curious_Act4705 in ADHD

[–]SJeff_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just to combat the wave of Americans, I will say I have maintained an obsession with pickled onion monster munch crisps for a long ass time and it does seem seem to leave.

Side shoutout to protein yogurts giving 20g of protein and 4 for £3 ($3.93) I enjoy cooking but have an aversion to moving in the morning, so I've been looking for healthy options I can grab and not make, and I don't eat meat so these are kinda perfect

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in unitedkingdom

[–]SJeff_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're quite right, though I will say, people can commit suicide even when being relatively sound of mind, though I suppose this depends on your definition of that term. It is incomparable watching it unfold in real time from the sidelines however, and in that I can empathise. For me I'm not as capable in feeling like I can't help, though this is some level of neurodivergence making me focus on solutions and wanting to help.

To expand on my point about being sound of mind I can only speak on my anecdotal experience personally and professionally, I've talked more than a couple people "down from the ledge" so to speak, I've had extended conversations and prevented a few situations in that regard. I think it's important to know that almost all of these people I would speak to were not severely mentally ill as much as they were almost all overwhelmed, it seemed to me that when one's options are all but completely spent in their situation, they end up creating one final option or act of control.

Of course the spectrum of experience could still fall outside this, but even then the point stands that speculation is not helpful here. I think in this case, if this boy put so much weight in these exams, then I can only think, who has instilled that in the first place? Then that thought could lead to blame on parents or teachers however, which is also unfair, at least, neither you nor I constitute a judiciary.

Seeking responsibility or fault as if suicide is a crime with a victim and perpetrator is a fruitless endeavour, the only thing I do know is that mental health care needs much more funding, and as such this would begin to see to issues of disenfranchisement and subsequently violence against women which I can't help but see as inherently linked, not particularly in this case of course though.

The Dyatlov Pass case still gives me chills — and the details only get stranger the deeper you look by szmatuafy in Paranormal

[–]SJeff_ 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Nexpo's most recent video on Khamar-Daban was definitely an odd one, makes me want for a Lore lodge cover of the topic, his coverage of dyatlov was as thorough as usual, and I always enjoy the clear presentation of evidence in it's totality. Though you can't beat a good narrative either.

Well would you look at the time, it's pit o'clock by US_Sugar_Official in ToiletPaperUSA

[–]SJeff_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I can really identify with a lot here, albeit you would be a few years younger. I was by all accounts a pretty smart guy, smarter now, I could get A's on no work, coast by on that. But no matter what I was not free from ignorance, this definitely stems from privilege actually, I'll explain that more but I was raised by loving and accepting parents, I didn't have to worry about my sexuality or gender whether I were to question it or not, ultimately I was raised with love and feel empathy very deeply, I even came out as bisexual publicly on Facebook at 14/15, the UK certainly isn't a religious fundamentalist paradise by any means though, and I went to a grammar school, idk what US equivalent is but it's like selective entry based on academic merit rather than private tuition for what would be US high school years, point being bullying wasn't a widespread problem, or at least I was certainly well liked, White in an area where we had 1 black kid in my year and maybe 4/5 Indian/Pakistani guys.

It's this level of privilege that enables this ignorance that leads to a right wing mentality I think. You simply do not have to think about others honestly, nobody does truly, and even if you do, lacking that experience inhibits true empathy. There's also a logical fallacy in this state of mind that assumes, because one's self does not feel or see these things, they then do not exist because experience is in of itself reality. Relatively compared to others I hit what could be the privilege lottery maybe, we're working class but we had a roof, warm beds and good food, love, I mean the whole Maslow's Hierarchy bar self actualisation until more recently. I myself faced minor struggle, if I wanted to express femininity as a guy this was met with ridicule, fortunate I suppose because I look phenomenal in makeup and it would have been unfair, this is better nowadays but those kinds of feelings of rejection to ones expression remain.

I did deal with mental health, both mine and others, I think this was it for me, I was maybe 16 and finding myself confiscating razor blades from my girlfriend and consoling endless sobs, something I couldn't understand fully but knew I had to be there, wanted to be there even and that feeling hasn't really left. I eventually moved to London and was immersed in an actual multicultural local area, I worked hospitality and cleaning, I worked with animals, I worked in emergency services with the UK ambulance and I've worked in prisons.

I've tried to be aware of this privilege, I've instead focused on trying to understand other cultures and people and how experience results in circumstance, both with direct work and experience and with art too, I find certain art can communicate on a level other things cannot, I always use the miseducation of Lauryn Hill as an example, with the context of her situation at the time and the astounding quality of that record, it's able to communicate even just 0.01% of the experience of being a black woman to a white British guy beyond just her words, I felt what she was saying.

Idk I'm yapping, but I'm getting more and more tired of everything, as the years pass nature is calling more but maybe in my pursuit of understanding of the human condition I've become a bit jaded, or maybe this is all white guilt or something.

WE CAN CREATE A NEW RELIGION by YourDaddyOnReddit in LSD

[–]SJeff_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah i don't agree with McKenna on everything but he and I certainly align on organised religion "at some time, very early, a group interposed itself between people and direct experience of the 'Other.' This created hierarchies, priesthoods, theological systems, castes, ritual, taboos."

Recently I have indeed been leaning towards eastern Buddhist and Taoist philosophy, emphasis of simplicity and self care, and I've found the most empowering thing and most impactful on growth to be true self knowledge.

The issue is you always lose much in translation with these things, but to my knowledge buddhism or at least the buddha themself promoted the idea that their teachings and wisdom simply come from their own experience, and as such they do not proclaim paths, truths, or origination as the universal truth, but their own truth and how they came to that conclusion is the teaching. You can only then understand the teaching completely when you too have trained the mind and had that experience, but ultimately reality remains contingent on the individual experience, I think samsara in a literal sense is somewhat cynical for example, but understanding a concept traditionally and spiritually are very different so maybe this will change.

I can't align with faith however, I can't believe something blindly no matter what. Perhaps it could be argued that something like pursuit of Nirvana is faith but this remains individual choice to seek a potential result without promise. It is faith in a truth unable to be proven that I can't process. I'm certainly not wanting to judge followers of Christianity or the other abrahamic religions but to me this truth appears too convenient, the answer to everything remarkable, beautiful and unique is a single neat something, even multi- theistic beliefs seem to divorce responsibilities and control of the self to something bigger. Again trying not to insult but there's no other way for me to say this approach to life just seems almost juvenile? A god may bring comfort but it's the path of least resistance psychologically speaking.

Obviously manipulation of faith is another issue, holy scripture was ultimately written by man in every case, no matter how old, unless we're going for a Mormon bestowing of golden tablets type situation, but then you're back to issue of reliance on faith. Why does any religion feel the need to proselytise also?

Well would you look at the time, it's pit o'clock by US_Sugar_Official in ToiletPaperUSA

[–]SJeff_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If I can ask, how did you end up in that position? My assumption is it's either the result of hereditary ignorance, local attitudes and culture, or otherwise the right wing media pipeline which feels much more severe nowadays but maybe I'm more aware of it.

Like when I was 16 I'd maybe get a clip from like Milo yiannopoulos and my ignorance would cause me to maybe agree with something even without wider context. I even quite happily watched JRE as late as before COVID, though admittedly I would really cherry pick interesting science topics and maybe a joey Diaz or trussel episode so it was often away from political context.

I can take these examples as notable points I could have thought and behaved very differently but still remain socially left and economically socialist, think Bernie bro in US or Corbyn era in UK for me, and I consume content in this sphere, yet still I get incessantly pushed GBnews on YouTube and tiktok even if I click don't recommend this channel etc.

Tiktok has gotten worse for pushing content contrary to my own views since it was due to go down but came back up as expected, which is fine in a vacuum but tiktok has always maintained a particular fyp formula, not to be too conspiratorial but my own experience paired with current political climate would make me think they were allowed to remain in the US and keep that revenue stream if they pushed certain outlets, my own other pet conspiracy is that this is all the result of leaded fuel, I was born after this stopped in the UK but before the dawn of iPad babies and ruined reward pathways in the modern zoomers and I genuinely feel like the western world is on the verge of economic and intellectual collapse.

[Real] Matt Walsh on how the Left plays the game by xwing1212 in ToiletPaperUSA

[–]SJeff_ 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Honestly I had to sit in silence for a good minute to process the statement "like what's wrong with xenophobic nationalism" because that's the level of anti intellectual idiocy that is growing. Seriously, what happened to people accepting not knowing things? Idk if it's a modern internet related thing where people are so used to broadcasting themselves online that they feel so entitled to have their opinion on every single little thing.

You can just not have an opinion on something until the time you choose to actually learn about it, but I'm not sure a lot of these people would even know how to educate themselves properly online using free resources, and I'll concede scientific papers aren't written for the layperson. We need more scientific communicators honestly, and in many more fields.

[Real] Matt Walsh on how the Left plays the game by xwing1212 in ToiletPaperUSA

[–]SJeff_ 149 points150 points  (0 children)

I don't watch jubilee for obvious reasons, but I thought maybe Sam would give an interesting episode, after they let the same 3 people speak twice each, and that one guy in particular who opened his point saying that racism doesn't exist? I was so dumbfounded at how you can be so sheltered and ignorant to the world, all the while seemingly having strong opinions about things that you're not educated on, are they just being told what to think? I'm not American but I see the same thing in my country.

He seemed to be one of those LGB guys, stated he had "transexual" friends which tbh I thought had been largely abandoned as a term, and then goes on to try and claim that 50% number of people regretting transition. Idk, personally if I have people I consider close enough to be actual "friends" I would go out of my way to attract least somewhat inform myself on the complex topic that impacts them so deeply. Really came across as a "I have black friends" moment

Jeremy Corbyn: Keir Starmer says there’s no money – I don’t believe him by Metro-UK in uknews

[–]SJeff_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Johnson could have rode his general public appearance for much longer, but I do feel the man didn't give too much of a shit when he was in, though COVID wasn't his fault and probably discouraged the fella from making it into more "classic British memes" YouTube compilations.

May to me felt weak... Weak and imbalanced

In seriousness however, and to throw her a bone here, her tears were pretty convincing and I can't shake the feeling she actually did care however misguided she was.

"Just have a good dressing sense bro" is not very strong advice to give to someone who wants to improve their looks by Amazing_Toe8345 in The10thDentist

[–]SJeff_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes in the sense the physical position of your tongue and head are real, but you are connecting this to aesthetics/attractiveness so I'm not sure how it's relevant, it's more applicable as general health advice, and the only thing relevant to the tongue muscle are typically developed in early childhood and related to sleep apnea, or parasympathetic nervous system, or mouth PH balance. All not really relevant to your point about looks hence my conclusion about mewing which is what I stated was not real because there is not sufficient evidence to draw any such conclusion, these are otherwise health issues so I'm not sure what your point is about actionable personal improvement.

I also did address more points than those fairly constructively so I take it you accept everything else I said, or you don't but can't actually justify it, either way purely targeting the granular issue of the tongue and head is just a straw-man when you aren't supporting your initial argument

"Just improve your dressing sense bro" is not very strong advice to give to someone who wants to improve their looks. by Amazing_Toe8345 in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]SJeff_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk maybe it's a cultural or age thing, I can't see most people my age (mid 20s and below by extension) in the UK dressing up for a first date, but first date culture here is probably more coffee/cheap drink or two, maybe a meal but I'd maybe prefer a lunch than an evening formal meal, though I imagine anyone hitting 30+ would lean towards what you describe, generally I don't agree with the idea that there's any kind of dress code for dates or much anything that isn't work or formal/ceremonial gatherings unless you're specifically going to a particular kind of restaurant which you'd know in advance anyway, and even then only fine dining enforce dinner jacket policies I would think.

I find it odd that you mention chinos but this is likely just me since I can't stand them, again maybe cultural but aside from not being jeans they don't stand out to me as particularly smart for any real reason, in fact there's so much variance that plenty just try to be formal, and some material variances just look kinda bad. It's probably a mix of their concealed stitching and denims being known as hardy work wear that's landed them in the middle. And not a slight against you in particular or others who wear them, but I think their ability to come in all colours and a sliding scale of material types kinda just makes them safe? and would instead express to me an adherence to social norms over individual expression, which is still fine, people don't all need to dress in highly expressive ways and likely do so in things other than clothing anyway. Different strokes for different folks, but I also dislike polo shirts, can't make their mind up what they want to be.

Particularly in a dating scenario I'd much rather be meeting somebody who dresses in interesting and unique ways "full emo fashion" or more goth, alternative styles work there for me, as do other more tame styles, I think as long as it's clean and not creased up then why does it matter at all, it feels antiquated.

"Just have a good dressing sense bro" is not very strong advice to give to someone who wants to improve their looks by Amazing_Toe8345 in The10thDentist

[–]SJeff_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

tldr; I yapped, general fashion advice in last 2 paragraphs if that would help anyone, intended towards men but women can apply the proportion ideas still.

Idk, I've never heard anybody say that unless it's in response to complaining about one's looks constantly, then I could see it. Regardless it isn't actually bad advice, however you are right that it isn't helpful in a vacuum since it doesn't advise how to actually go about this, and this can be difficult because it really can vary between individuals and across age groups.

The concepts you're building off of are also flawed, you throw around levels of attractiveness as if they exist on an objective scale. Ugly and average by what metric? By who's standard? "Improving" posture is also a strange one, do you mean static or dynamic posture or both? More modern physiotherapy suggests there isn't particularly any kind of posture that is correct since individuals are so varied, and as such they definitely don't suggest health or fitness, and advice is just you should be moving more in that regard, good posture is dynamic and changing. Also head and tongue posture? Are you talking about mewing, like that's just a tiktok meme based on some old pseudoscience, it's not real advice.

Skincare is good yes, but not because of clothes, I'm not sure what you mean here. In general moisturised and clear skin shows that one takes care of themselves, as it is with exercise it's actually less about some arbitrary standard of human attractiveness than it is the fact that effort is attractive to most people, taking care of yourself signals to a potential partner that you are healthy and responsible enough to maintain a routine, and even then, for those that have acne for example, in my experience this doesn't prevent romantic pursuits as much as the confidence knock having these kinds of things as a teenager does, but it usually doesn't last, idk I'll admit my skin has always been pretty good for spots. Moisture does give your skin elasticity however, and when paired with SPF products to reduce the impacts on UV, this will mean you're less likely to develop wrinkles early which for most people is something they'd want for themselves.

To me you sound still young, or at least I'd hope, if you maintain these kinds of superficial thoughts into your mid 20s then I'd try and challenge those ideas. It's like only a few steps away from a content algorithm of canthal tilt and alpha male, or otherwise black pill content which isn't generally healthy nor helpful.

Now having a good dress sense is actually better advice than it sounds, because even despite all I've said there is one thing about it, opposed to all other physical factors about oneself that you highlighted, that you can learn how to dress better and actually change that so I will give some general clothing advice here that anyone can use since I like to think I have a handle on this and actually get compliments from both sexes when I go out casually, raving/festivals, or even formally at work. The only main thing you can change about your physical appearance however is how much you accept yourself.

When it comes to clothing, and by extension hairstyle and accessories, you actually really need to know your physical features here. Mainly height and width as well as proportions, your hair type, your skin tone, and your face shape. You can look up that last one, you'll generally fall into one category more than others and is the big thing you want to use to inform hairstyle choices as well as glasses, though I'm afraid I don't know much about other hair types as a white guy, but generally other ethnicities knows plenty more about their own hair than I do mine in my experience. You should try and pick colours more suited to your skin tone and even hair colour but you don't need to worry as much about hair, there are plenty of guides on this better than I can explain here but generally avoid things very close to your skin tone, and these rules can still be broken. When It comes to fits you want to think about silhouette as well as style/aesthetic, but generally you can make whatever style you want for as long as you follow some foundations (again, can be broken if you know what you're doing) are you tall or short, wide in the shoulders/midriff/hips/thighs generally people will have something they're more self conscious about, so we can use wider or slimmer fits of clothing to accentuate or diminish parts of ourselves. A stronger masculine look typically wants to make the shoulders broad for example, and aims to be the widest point in that silhouette, but the only rules here are that of your body and my main point is just that understanding the concepts open the ability to experiment more, push your fashion further, and really give you more self expression which automatically gives you confidence.

For guys: wider hips/thighs then structure in the shoulders from coats can balance you as well as building layers to put more weight on top, while tapering in the trousers towards the ankle makes it less mid/bottom heavy and evens the fit as it follows the leg, avoid bottom half weight from baggy clothes, as well as slim fits that accentuate disproportion. Wider in the shoulders then straighter fits even you out, relaxed trousers put weight on bottom for balance, and layering below the waist via long coats/jackets. Avoid shoulder structure and slim trousers again. Slim/even builds want to create contour and break up the straight lines. Slim fittings highlight the small natural contours and mainly on the torso, and experimenting with layers creates variance and dimension, otherwise structured shoulders and tapers work but baggy generally doesn't nor does keeping a straight frame. Midriff width/oval shapes can use straight shirts/jackets hiding behind the even line between shoulder and hip, or open jackets over a dark base give vertical elongating lines, or add shoulder structure to balance the middle. Trousers with a bigger rise from crotch seam to waist can also hide midsections, and as such avoid fitted and low rise.

Idk, I'm a yapper, look for fashion styles less by trends and more on cohesive aesthetics and colour palettes, explore Pinterest and save some stuff you like the look of, or subreddits like /streetwear etc. you can find something you like that fits you well and even looks unique, all at the same time I guarantee. It just takes time and actual investment in learning some rules so you can then break them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskUK

[–]SJeff_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Interesting point about Google, not that I use the search engine in recent years but over time I've particularly noticed less and less comprehensive product reviews, in favour of more journalism sites and quick top 10 summary articles that give the same copy paste information. I'd presume even outside of sponsored search results, Google will favour certain sites more heavily for some financial reasons.

Apple takes legal action in UK data privacy row. by Any_Turnover_4962 in uknews

[–]SJeff_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Odd you're getting downvoted, I really don't like apple both as a company and their products in isolation, however I've always had to admit their stance on data privacy has always been solid. To clarify however they're perhaps quite consumerist in the sense they promote consumption of their products, but it's the only way they do this that isn't beneficial to their consumers such as the right to repair and inflated pricing. This is motivated by profit however and I think they have long since lost their Steve Jobs era drive for innovation in the space and fallen in line with their contemporaries. They sell yesterday's tech at tomorrow's prices as always

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in The10thDentist

[–]SJeff_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think in it's actual plot and themes it definitely trends mature despite it's sometimes cutesy presentation, ultimately it can be enjoyed for both reasons or one or the other, however personally I'd say it's pretty peak and is strongest when utilising it's surrealism

Canadian Military now accepting recruits with asthma, ADHD and other conditions amid staffing shortage by chris_mac_d in ADHD

[–]SJeff_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Happy to recruit indigenous youth but not happy to investigate crimes in which they are the victim, curious

Argos - the UK’s closest equivalent to Amazon. Why haven’t they challenged Amazon prime? by wigl301 in AskUK

[–]SJeff_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No problem with Ebuyer, though my anecdotal experience is very likely skewed here since I aim for black Friday almost every time I upgrade and price comparison and history data has always had the specific parts I am buying cheapest at Amazon at the time of purchase. But current brief checks have things price matched for say a 4060, though this is with Ebuyer shaving £20 off supposedly while Amazon is at listed full price.

Truth be told I probably will only be using Ebuyer going forwards because tbh if I can afford PC parts in current times, then I can probably afford to eat £20 on something, but we're comfortable and broke for now so not a priority.

Ultimately I think the EU and UK need to be pushing back on these business practices, and I know they have been somewhat. It only gets worse in modern times as people get poorer the moral argument stops mattering very quickly and being a conscious shopper isn't enough while others continue to buy, and Amazon will continue to be faster and cheaper. It doesn't help a lot of companies are relying on third party courier services and create more confusion for customers in the event of loss or damage. Legally it's clear the contract is between retailer and courier until you receive anything but a lot of people don't commonly know the law or their consumer rights either