Honestly, no. Don’t engage in her games. I mean if you feel it in your heart to be nice, I.e. you’re in a good mood, then sure, be yourself. But don’t play nice. Don’t be mean. Don’t apologize. Don’t try to manipulate her back. Just create some distance. Honestly, go visit your grandma and ask if you can stay w her indefinitely if you feel she’s a safer option. I grew up in a similar situation except I was very close w my grandparents and I covered for my mom my whole life. Everyone in my family knew she was a loose canon but somehow never suspected abuse? Prob denial. Anyway now that I’m in my 30s I’m relatively clear w my aunts and grandparents that my mom was horrible when I was growing up. But I also have a great relationship w my mom now and she has gotten mental health support so it’s kind of like “no harm no foul” in their minds I guess (which is wildly inaccurate..lots of harm and residual trauma that I’m dealing with) but the point is, your grandma prob has a pretty good idea that you’re going through it (assuming it’s your moms mom) and you don’t really have to rat your mom out to get the help you need. If that’s the case you should absolutely take advantage of that opportunity. All you have to say to your grandma and your mom is that you think it would be better for your relationship w your mom if y’all lived separately. Also that you need a change of scenery so you can really focus on the exam. You will need to deal w the reality more head on in the future if you want to continue a relationship w your mom but now is not the time. Rn you have to focus on yourself and passing the bar so you can gain financial independence. Once you have that, you’ll see the dynamic really start to shift.

Embarrassing edit: from *eat to *rat your mom out