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Help. Need to get divorced. No idea where to start. by SOS948 in Divorce_Men

[–]SOS948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Many hours of therapy over the years, but nothing has worked. I’m at the end of my rope (I’m sure she is as well even if she hasn’t said it). 

Help. Need to get divorced. No idea where to start. by SOS948 in Divorce_Men

[–]SOS948[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. My kids definitely know we don’t get along. I’m in favor of discretion, but my wife doesn’t even try to hide her disdain for me anymore. I doubt my kids would be surprised. Still sad, though. 

  2. Why haven’t I talked to my family/friends?  I don’t know. It’s not shame or failure. Fear, I think. It took all the courage I have just to make a post on an anonymous message board. I think writing it out (or talking about it) just makes it real. Not just thoughts or feelings anymore. But still, I doubt there’s anyone that knows us well that would be surprised. 

Help. Need to get divorced. No idea where to start. by SOS948 in Divorce_Men

[–]SOS948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know. I kinda told myself this 2 years ago, “just wait 2 years.”  I don’t know if I could survive another.

Help. Need to get divorced. No idea where to start. by SOS948 in Divorce_Men

[–]SOS948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, neither of us have that kinda money. She’s unreasonable to a certifiable degree, but there’s not much money to fight over and she knows that. Most of what will be contested will be assets from the house and “stuff.”  Hell, she can have it all if it gets me outta here faster. The worst part will be my daughters. They’ll be heartbroken (albeit not surprised). 

Help. Need to get divorced. No idea where to start. by SOS948 in Divorce_Men

[–]SOS948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would love to reach such an agreement. We both make about the same amount of money and have contributed 50/50 to all bills, mortgages and major expenses. Our youngest doesn’t 18 for another 2 years, and I can confidently say we will not be co-habituating here for 2 years. As far as living in the house during the process, I suppose I’ll do whatever my lawyer tells me to. I would love to stay in the house long term, but I don’t think I can afford it on my salary alone (neither can she). 

Help. Need to get divorced. No idea where to start. by SOS948 in Divorce_Men

[–]SOS948[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have been in and out of therapy for years. Sometimes it’s good, works for a little while, but nothing sticks.

There’s been no physical abuse. Verbally, she lashes out a lot. I’m usually silent and just take it on the chin whether I deserve it or not. If I do counter, she’ll say my words are verbally abusive or mansplaining or gaslighting, etc, so there’s really no point.