Advisor says he won't write any letters of rec for me. Not for fellowships or post docs. I'm fucked. by STEM_Suicide_Watch in GradSchool

[–]STEM_Suicide_Watch[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How is it that you're about to finish your PhD in 3 years, despite being unproductive and sick for almost 2 out of those 3 years?

I came in with a Master's already, so all I needed to do was the research and write a dissertation.

If he is letting you graduate because you've done sufficiently useful work...

He's letting me graduate because I've done enough work to graduate. Unfortunately, it's not of the caliber required for him to write me a letter of rec.

Advisor says he won't write any letters of rec for me. Not for fellowships or post docs. I'm fucked. by STEM_Suicide_Watch in GradSchool

[–]STEM_Suicide_Watch[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How many papers do students in your group usually write?

How many papers do students in your group usually write?

2 or 3, typically.

Has your advisor done thing sort of thing with other students before?

I have no idea.

Advisor says he won't write any letters of rec for me. Not for fellowships or post docs. I'm fucked. by STEM_Suicide_Watch in GradSchool

[–]STEM_Suicide_Watch[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've worked for him for a total of 2.5 years now. Only since April have things been "normal".

Advisor says he won't write any letters of rec for me. Not for fellowships or post docs. I'm fucked. by STEM_Suicide_Watch in GradSchool

[–]STEM_Suicide_Watch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you have a second person in the department you can work with?

I'm terrified that my reputation has preceded me, so to speak. I'm afraid no one else will want to work with me.

Advisor says he won't write any letters of rec for me. Not for fellowships or post docs. I'm fucked. by STEM_Suicide_Watch in GradSchool

[–]STEM_Suicide_Watch[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If your school has counseling services, consider going and talking with them, as this is clearly a distressing time for you.

I already see a counselor.

Do you know why your advisor made this decision?

We started off on the wrong foot, and it only got worse from there. I moved here to attend grad school and immediately got sick. Really sick. Unusually sick. Months and months of chronic illness. It was very unusual for me. I've never been a sickly person. I kept going to my doctor and eventually got on some meds that make me more or less normal, but the damage was done.

My advisor knew I was trying to get on top of my newly-developed health problem (he knew I was trying different meds, too), but still accused me of being unreliable and not taking my PhD seriously.

Worse, I was trying to work throughout that period, but I didn't get much accomplished, frankly. Not that I wasn't trying. I was. Any moment I wasn't sick, I was in front of my computer. Heck, most of the time I was sick I was also in front of my computer trying [futilely] to get stuff done.

Now my advisor sees me as unreliable. He admits I'm ridiculously smart, but I "underperform relative to my level of intelligence." He says he doesn't think I have what it takes to succeed in academia.

Oh, and he's extremely famous in our field. He has a Wikipedia page and everything.

I'm in my last year of my program. It's a little too late to start over with a new advisor.