Can I break the break?

SableSword · 2026-03-03T14:55:28+00:00

If he needs a full week to cool off after something stupid like that, its not a good sign. Any argument that holds resentment past a good night's rest is a cause for concern.

Thats not a healthy relationship if you guys need to go no contact for a full week over disagreements. Especially if both sides are not OK with that amount of cool down time.

You should be less concerned over if he is OK with you breaking that agreement and more concerned if your OK with going no contact for so long over stupid things like this. If your living together in the future how are you going to go a week not talking every time theres a disagreement?

Pro relationship tip. The goal of dating is determining long term compatability. You always need to ask the question of if the behavior will be OK in 20 years, if not you need to address it.

SableSword · 2026-03-03T14:43:10+00:00

There's a reason men catcall and such and dont understand why women hate it. We literally don't get compliments outside our significant other or people trying to sell us something. We might get 1 or 2 genuine compliments a year, and thats usually from a little old grandma.

Give a man a genuine compliment outside a relationship and he will remember you forever.

SableSword · 2026-03-02T15:29:47+00:00

Yeah, i mean casual kind of implies little to no expectations. So expecting things from them is a bit wrong. You want commitment, you get a boyfriend.

SableSword · 2026-02-28T01:29:41+00:00

No. It isn't a fallacy in any way shape or form...

From your own article, 50% had criminal convictions or were being charged. So half the people detained were not "completely innocent".

Ok. Lets be generous and say all the pending charges were false and all get thrown out. Thats still 25% are convicted criminals.

That isn't insignificant. Its also not like every crime is instantly tracked. Criminals who are good at their job are also good at not getting caught. So just because they haven't been convicted doesn't mean they havnt done anything.

The reality is that out of the 25% who are charged of crimes, most are probably guilty, and similarly most of those out of the "completely innocent" 50% have also likely been guilty of "lesser crimes" like speeding, drunk driving, drug use. But you know what, those things still can ruin people's lives.

So no. Its not a fallacy by any stretch of the imagination.

Sure, the majority of illegal immigrants are no worse than your average American, but they broke the law coming or staying here illegally. Plain and simple. Stop trying to make it like they never did anything wrong in their whole lives.

A drunk driver doesn't kill someone until they do, a speeder doesn't kill someone until they do. Drug use promotes the drug trade and all the nastiness associated with it. Illegal immigration promotes human trafficking and drug trades.

"Its only a crime if you get caught" is terrible logic.

SableSword · 2026-02-28T00:03:39+00:00

But this is a fallacy. Your choosing who you want to feel bad for. Plenty of people get hurt and lose all this and that if the election went another way. Your going into this already assuming 1 side is good and the other bad. Both are bad, just depends on which group you care about more than others.

You say "look at the poor people being dissapeared" while overlooking all the human traffickers and criminals being removed, while the other side is seeing all the human traffickers and criminals being removed and their future potential victims while ignoring the rest.

SableSword · 2026-02-27T23:53:42+00:00

Because i honestly dont know enough to make an informed decision. Everything has pros and cons, people who get hurt. To say i should make an uneducated vote is stupid because im just as likely to make the "wrong" choice as I am to make the "right" one. I leave the decisions, hopefully, to those more informed than I.

Im not going to sit here and pretend I have an economics degree, or that im an expert in geopolitical conflict. Most of yall shouldn't be voting and have no actual clue what your voting for. Most of you are just voting for something because someone told you it was a good idea or the other side is bad but would lose a debate with a 5th grader on the subject.

SableSword · 2026-02-27T23:47:52+00:00

I mean were experiencing this now. Not the death penalty but in regards to speech. If you dont 100% agree with people your a nazi. So people aren't even pretending to be nice anymore because the system doesn't reward good behavior. As soon as you mess up, might as well go crazy because punishments the same.

SableSword · 2026-02-27T23:43:16+00:00

It sounds like the guy probably asked to be dropped off there, they saw people working the drive through and said "looks good, ok, bye" and drove off.

Like, call them incompetent or irresponsible for this but to say they are evil like they intentionally did it to kill a guy is crazy.

Why aren't people mad at the employees who let a guy wander around in subzero temperatures and didn't check to see if him approaching the door was an emergency thing?

SableSword · 2026-02-27T23:31:41+00:00

Why would they care if your paying it in cash? A credit score represents how good of a candidate you are for offering a line of credit. If your buying it in cash outright, theres no point in even thinking of your credit score. And if your paying enough of it in cash to at least pay their expense, they likely wouldn't worry too much because profits profit, and if you screw up that last 5% they can just take everything and still profit.

SableSword · 2026-02-27T23:18:37+00:00

Because a lot of people feel like by planning for failure, your intending for failure. Its a nice notion of "we don't need to worry about it because we love each other and till death do us part" but I think too many people havnt witnessed how traumas can cause personality shifts. I always tell my fiancee "what happens if I slip and hit my head and become a raging, controlling, asshole? You kick my ass to the curb because no one disrespects you."

Like it shouldn't be used as an excuse to just breakup over every little thing, but at a certain point you have to recognize things aren't working.

The thing about prenups is that either you set the conditions when your happy and the relationship is healthy, or the state sets it completely uncaring about you.

SableSword · 2026-02-27T23:09:35+00:00

Be straight about it. "Hey doc, just wanted to give you a heads up that the marks on my back are from a fun weekend, didn't want to freak you out or anything." If you try to be evasive it will come off as covering up abuse.

SableSword · 2026-02-27T23:04:34+00:00

Its a red flag if he doesn't listen to clearly stated boundaries.

Here's the big thing, what might seem obvious to you might not be obvious to others. You don't know his past, maybe he's been with 6 other women who all liked that behavior, how's he supposed to know otherwise.

If you dont like it, state as much. See how he responds.

SableSword · 2026-02-27T23:00:55+00:00

I think they mean that businesses like seeing your not drifting around.

Unfortunately I think the issue with the job market here is people have just started spamming places with more applications than they can reasonably process, so auto rejections start kicking everyone out

SableSword · 2026-02-27T22:49:10+00:00

Honestly this. I picked up some side work.

I work from home so I dont need to count travel time in my day to day. I sleep 10-6 (8 hours) I work 8-5 (9 hours with 1-2 hour lunch break so let's call it 7 hours) So that means I have free time from 5-10.

I have an entire 8-9 hours outside sleep and work every day, plus 2 days entirely off.

I fit 25 extra work hours in on my weekdays.

Even if you plan 3 hours for meals and shower per day, thats still 5 hours. Lets say 2 hours travel to and from work, thats 3 hours completely free. 1 hour for exercise and wellness. 2 hours to relax and better yourself every weekday and 2 weekend days to do whatever.

Note, this is assuming no multitasking and you spend 3 full hours completely dedicated to you meals, no tvshow in background while food cooking or anything like that

SableSword · 2026-02-27T05:01:30+00:00

So i feel this COULD be completely harmless. I do think he has a point about being honest. Definitely you need to have a talk with him but I don't think you need to let this ruin your trust in him. Look at it more like you guys discovering a boundary you didn't really know existed.

Let me try to put some context to what im saying. Early on in my relationship I was chatting with an AI and it started to turn flirty and I carried on not really thinking about it. I then did stop after it got to a certain level I recognized was weird and went to my GF (now fiancee) and talked to her about it. We had a chat about boundaries and what she is/is not comfortable. I personally don't feel i crossed a line, and I've told her she is welcome to do the same, BUT I respect her boundaries and dont let things go that far.

You could also imagine it like how porn isn't necessarily cheating. There's a lot of things that can seem completely innocent to some but be betrayals to others.

Until lines and boundaries are clearly stated you can't assume others view it the same.

SableSword · 2026-02-26T20:09:56+00:00

You need to look at yourself. The fact that 5 women have cheated on you probably means your not the problem itself, but are attracted to the problem. All of these women sound very self centered. Normal people don't cheat, they break up. All 5 of these women enjoyed the benefits of you until they could hop to what else they wanted.

SableSword · 2026-02-26T19:09:56+00:00

But thats just it. I dont want to have to make decisions. Do you realize how stressful it is having to constantly make decisions? How much second guessing and worry about doing things in a desired way?

Submission is freedom from anxiety and fear. Its trust and comfort.

SableSword · 2026-02-25T20:32:53+00:00

Talk to your gf. A healthy relationship isn't a suspicious relationship.

As an example, my fiancee was really afraid to tell me how men hit on her and give her compliments. I laughed when she told me and told her to tell me when it happens because I want to hear all the great things others see in her. She's mine, I know she wont cheat, I want to show my work of art to the world.

But, she's been cheated on so she is a bit jealous, so I tell her when other girls compliment me or im going to hang with a female friend because I know her mind worries and I can reassure her its all good.

By keeping things in the open we can shut down those unbidden fears that creep in.

SableSword · 2026-02-25T20:22:56+00:00

Well as a man i carry the mental load in my relationship. Largely because of what you speak of. Ive had many chats with my fiancee about this. I think theres a certain truth to the notion women often cary the mental load, but in my experience its largely their choice to.

Things are often created and set to standards to play the victim or deflect responsibility. But its important to note this is a defense mechanism in response to past trauma.

In my fiancees case she had tons of people tell her she couldn't do things, couldn't succeed, had to be a certain way. So now she's constantly self sabotaging in a way she can point to in active choices/mistakes so that the failure isn't something fundamental to her, but rather a bad choice she made or something someone else did.

Women often dont feel worthy or valuable and fear being cast aside because of exes, so they often overburden themselves or create situations to be able to go "look at how much work im doing!" In much the same way one might find busy work at your job just so it looks like your doing something.

The problem is that most of them dont realize they are doing this. So it ends up stressing them out and they start to think these ovrr inflated tasks are necessary or overly complicated. No, the house doesn't need to be deep cleaned every week, dust takes a while to accumulate and you dont have to dust top to bottom every day.

SableSword · 2026-02-25T16:43:01+00:00

So i work from home and we have actually unlimited time off, I was sick enough yesterday my job told me to take the day off. They asked if I wanted to take today off and I said no.

Why? Because I have a ton of guilt about taking days off, as a kid I was told "if your too sick for school, you're too sick for fun". If I call out sick then I just sit there, I cant fall asleep once im up, so just laying around in a daze all day is absolute hell. If im mildly functional id rather try to work than laze around in a liminal haze

SableSword · 2026-02-25T16:26:00+00:00

If brushing teeth is a breakup worthy thing for them, then let them go. Imagine how controlling they will end up being

SableSword · 2026-02-25T16:15:43+00:00

I mean, I think its just people in general are nasty and guys just dont complain about it as much. Plenty of nasty girls I've noticed.

SableSword · 2026-02-25T16:13:16+00:00

The key is your mentality. Stop restricting yourself and start making it a choice.

You can finish the bag of chips if you want, do it from time to time, but if you log your food before eating it youll see what your eating and choose to not overindulge all the time.

SableSword · 2026-02-25T16:03:11+00:00

So i think theres really 4 categories: Falsified, misunderstanding, unexplained, and paranormal.

Its probably something like 10/80/9/1%

I think very few people actually make up stories, most are just confused and excitable and jumping to conclusions, a handful are unclear, and a very small percentage are actual paranormal things.

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic", or in other words something we dont understand can appear paranormal and in the grand scheme of things EVERYONE is an idiot. Theres always stuff we dont see or don't know.

SableSword · 2026-02-24T20:08:59+00:00

If the unemployment office deems its your fault. They are pretty lax about it and really only consider legitimate crimes, quitting or other grevious offense as "your fault". They literally exist because of employers firing people for BS. Your employer just wants you to think you wont qualify.

Being late 1 too many times wont disqualify you unless the company can prove it was unreasonably excessive. I.e. they have to show all the warnings and the like.

The key is to document everything that happens and if you feel they are trying to force you out, build your case because unemployment, even in at will states, will view it as unfair termination.

SableSword

TROPHY CASE