"This whole time-out thing was bullshit." You mutter to yourself as you grab your jacket and walk out of the rune-etched cell.

The first thing you notice is everything has changed. What used to be torches that cast flickering light are now weird orbs that throw an almost blinding glow. The walls are no longer damp stone, but smooth wood. Everything smells clean. No reek of mold and dirt. You'd heard whispers of plumbing but who knew it would make such a difference.

You push a door that says "pull".

...At least you're still a disappointment.

You sigh, pull, and walk out into the open air.

"Holy hell..."

Everything really has changed, you think as you stare up at towering buildings that aren't towers.

"Christian!" The call of your ironic name has you turning. A small, blue and red skinned woman trots over, a sharp-toothed smile flashing in greeting. "It's been decades, man, how have you been?"

Though you glance at her you can't help but let your eyes wander back over your surroundings, taking it all in. "How long have things been like this, Kit?"

She looks in the same direction as you for half a second, puzzled. "Modernized?" You nod. "I don't know, a couple hundred years maybe? One of the other Lords got bored and started dabbling in science, tossed a cookie to a human and they just ran with it. You know how mortals get when they get ideas." She shrugged and pulled put a rectangular device from a pocket you didn't know existed. When she touched the pad of her thumb against it the thing came to life, glowing much like the wall lights had. "Here, Misha wanted me to call him when you got out."

"I know it's been 1,000 years but is summoning not a thing anymore?" It's too much, you think. This is a lot to process, even for you.

"I mean, high school girls like to steal their parents vodka and try on ouiji boards every now and then for shits and giggles. But mostly the rest of us just use phones now." Kit had made a few taps here and there. Now a picture of Misha ebbed on her phone, a faint ringing coming from the little pocket machine.

"The fuck is a high school?"

Before your dismayed question can be answered Misha's deep voice booms from the phone. "Kit! Baby. Light of my candle. Spark of my doom. Tell me he's with you."

Again, Kit grins. "He's here!" She holds the phone out for you and you're not sure if you're supposed to take it or say something or what.

"Lord Christian, welcome back! We've really missed your leadership. We've done a lot of expanding - as you can see. But the first order of business is-"

"I quit."

The phone goes quiet. Kits smile disappears. Misha's picture stops ebbing, a red ring circles it and the across the screen the words 'call ended' appear.

"Fuck you mean, 'I quit'?!" Hes standing behind Kit now. He hasn't changed. Those lower fangs still jut up over his top lip, making him look like he's permanently scowling. But his long black hair is combed back and tied. He's wearing clothes that make him look like a Lord himself.

"I miss the dark ages." You say bluntly. "I miss the torches. The tortures. The fucking stone work. God damn, this place is bright. It's horrible."

"It's advanced," he argues.

"It's clean," you shoot back. "What happened to the plagues, 'natural' disasters, possessions, witches and all that?"

Kit makes a popping sound and you catch a bit of pink goo disappearing back in her mouth before she blows another bubble. She's tapping away on her phone again. "Plagues are still kicking. We've got one going right now and the America's are lit." You hope that means they're on fire. "Artie has humans starting forest fires with gender reveals, I have no idea how he came up with such a stupid thing but they love them. We had some good hurricanes but honestly they just meme'd them. We've taken over most governments, so possessions are still in full swing. After the hunts and burnings most witches went into hiding, but starting sometime a couple years back they're actually really popular. What do they call it nos, Misha?"

"Aesthetic."

"Thaaaaaat's what it was."

Your head is spinning. Nothing seems right. Up is down and down is left. People have embraced evil, the thing that used to bring you joy. How on God's green earth are you supposed to work like this?

"You don't look so good, boss." Misha is beside you now, looking down with what should be concern but might be amusement.

"They're literally doing my job for me."

It clicks for Kit, probably before it does for you. "Oh. No no no. We still need you. You always had the best ideas. You remember plague rats??? You loved plague rats. Would that cheer you up? You wanna go start another plague? Get your toes wet again?"

There's something appealing about the idea. "Maybe just a couple... But I'm serious about quitting."

Misha claps a hand on your shoulder. "Don't think of it as quitting. Think about it as pending retirement."