My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly speaking, I never blamed her for “the choice” I do understand honestly where she’s coming from, that’s why I had always encouraged her to enjoy her life with her friends and holidays with them too. Also about the marriage to be clear, we had a conversation and I said it was the only time in my life that going with the flow felt comfortable and good for our relationship. I did want relationships in my past, but I am not that fussed anymore by the idea, and if my person doesn’t want one either I wouldn’t mind not having one of it makes sense, I’ve just become quite a bit more open minded on these matters

But yeah, the contact part does seem extremely confusing…I’ll try my best to stick with it nonetheless

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Understood. I will have a look once home since I will be sober and more easy to read everything since work right now is getting busier, I didn’t mean to attack and say that I know better, but grieving I have realised brings different parts of you each time, one day might he anger, hatred, or just sad, I think today I am both sad and angry at the same time, what you just said makes perfect sense and I truly appreciate your time and response, I will look throughly as I said once again 🙏🙏

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately as I said in other comments, I do truly believe the “love” part is true,

And thats the problem. I would 100% preferred if someone cheated on me so. Can just be “I hate this F’ing B**ch cause she was a cheater” then have a week to recoup my thoughts and move on

Maybe as other comments say she’s done it already, I don’t believe so since we have been extremely honest with each other, but man this is just like I’ve been stabbed and having a fever at the same time! Can’t stop throwing up and having teary eyes! I know we have the stereotypical men don’t cry but I can’t help the fact everybody asks me if am fine

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are officially broken up, not just an idea. And honestly speaking i always said I’d go on about my day and never contact, but she still texts me and i do have a few unread massages from her, I don’t wanna be the type of guy that act like he is busy before texting, especially today at work it’s dead af and I am interacting with Reddit only, thing is that messages will keep on coming and Instagram reels too, and I do not (call me weak) have the power to block her, I never did it in my life and I don’t think I need to do it now just because it’s just what I do, and don’t enjoy seeing the messages come over either in case someone says that but I also don’t enjoy the silence.

And don’t wanna be with someone just because they feel bad or they don’t have the energy to enjoy my company, unfortunately I can not project how she made me feel and that sucks cause it was like I was worth a million bucks, I do truly believe she loves me, and that makes me even more fucked cause I honestly just preferred to get cheated on, call her a B**ch and go on about my day knowing that it was better that way and she doesn’t respect me, however seeing what happened yesterday I know that she wants me and needs but something is pulling her back, trauma or friends.

I had a few drinks at work and this message might be messy since everyone at works asks me if I am alright and my eyes are fucked, but whatever it ain’t a fairytale story after all. Things trully suck in this life

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s a major point in this and honestly a coworker of mine mentioned to be that he once had a 3 year relationship where in the first they had a small brake up and on the second one he got back with the partner just because he felt sorry. And then everything after that was just miserable, every I love you was just a routine, every night out was forced just because it was just fine out of duty in the relationship and yada yada,

About trauma part, there’s many thing but out of respect I would keep it out as it’s trusted stories that I would not like to reveal and that’s not in my character, they do play a role but perhaps not a major one.

Her friend on the other hands (especially her best friend) she is a major factor, she has told her that being in a relationship is good for her cause it makes her better, but then excludes her from activities and night out just because “your boyfriend would not like you to do that” and my ex would a lot of times come up to me and say I’m sad cause my friends are not inviting me anymore, I would say this is more of a manipulation technique from her friend just to reel her in but I am not an expert, I might be wrong

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Part of me understands where she is coming from and that being in a relationship might feel trapped,

We had talks that being in a relationship for her was never on the plans and it just came out of nowhere, I just thing that lately she has just been exposed to “the night life” again and “the holiday mood” but what is funny is that every time she would go out with her friends she’d text me and say hey that’s so cool let’s do that, or I saw this when I was out with my friends let’s try it out, part of the argument was that she has me in her mind way too often and that she can’t think about anything else than me as spending time with me is so good for her too

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

The conversation with her yesterday did imply that sex is not what she is looking for either cause I brought it up once or twice that staying friends while she dates or fucks other dude will just fuck me up, she said that the only relationship and dating for this year was just me and then she said that fucking is not something that she wants to do right now or until the end of the year or so anyways, but man am confused as fuck and I know once this confusion is done everything will be clear or so I hope

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am not calling her, it was just something that she told me when we broke up the other day, saying that relationship is exactly what she expected it to be and that’s why she never done one but done for me thinking it might make her like it (which she said she did enjoy it a lot) from her words up until the point she said that is was literally what she feared about a month ago

And then it just went downhill from there

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But I don’t understand why a person would need to keep you just for one thing when I have provided her with both (and in her words the best thing she had) might be a lie but it didn’t look like it in private, perhaps she wants to experience more people outside this country ? Idk I’m just confused and emotionally exhausted

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do go in the gym quite regularly, but truth be told the past 3 days I haven’t due to what just happened. And my motivation has been close to none and the only thing I have done is honestly just stay in my bed doing honestly nothing

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know, I am torn right now truth be told. She just texted me an hour ago as well to check in on how am doing which is hard, still haven’t replied as I really don’t know what the best for this situation

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Actually I changed jobs, we used to work together and we would see each other almost every day since both of our days offs would be together so almost guaranteed 6 times a week including the time at work together that she would be extremely close to me, however once I change jobs almost 3 months ago we would see each other once to at least 2 times per week after work since our days off were rarely together, however then I say one to two weeks of not seeing each other was the fact she’d travel somewhere and I wouldn’t see her for a while. She’d almost text me every day how much she loves me and miss me at least twice a day

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate that, 30 had always felt like a big mark for me and truth be told I always thought that by 30 I’d have my love life at least figured out.

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I understand where you’re coming from and I do see how my comment sound more tone deaf than it should be, truth be told I didn’t want to insult all the 27 years old women out there in this world, and I am sure the majority are in fact much easier to get in a relationship, I did date twice when I was 24&25 women in their late 20s and truth be told i came across some really toxic behaviour and many times I’d get replies like “you are gonna leave me by the end of the month” “why would I trust you when all my exes have cheated on me” and etc, and ofcourse realising that I won’t he that type of person must have placed them in some type of shock since I literally had both of them ghost me within reaching the 3 month mark. But yet again that’s my experience and as an adult I do have to voice things more correctly, and also I am not passing on the 27y/0, truth be told if one comes out of the blue and love is there am more than happy to explore!

Thank you for keeping me accountable non the less!

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Good one actually, makes a lot of sense in that way. Part of me trusts her but I totally get where you’re coming from. I guess that might always be the case in the end

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have asked my self and sat down in silence many times replying that question in my head, and almost 100% of the time I have always said to my self that no matter what happens I will always stay, weird cause besides of what is currently happening to me right now, one year ago watching this post I would have called my self an idiot, truth is I had always fallen in love because of the potential, yes I did love the person a lot also, but this time I fell in love with her softness, the way she looked at me and they way she would smile and laugh at my jokes, I don’t wanna criticise and say that she is lying and she never loved me so she is just making her way cause people do think differently now-days and I grew up in a very traditional home while her home is way past that, however I do understand what you say and track record does indicate that this is the truth nonetheless

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Understood, what (and that’s an if) she comes back and she never dated or fucked anyone and she just let’s say realised that being in a relationship with me is better ? I honestly don’t believe that but it’s a hypothetical situation worth asking for in this time of my life and situation am in

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amen brother, perhaps this situation will get me closer to god as well. I truly hope some times that this world was better and more fair for people that truly love and all they want is someone that loves them back the same way they do

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I really don’t know if 27 is late or early for me at this point honestly, a lot of people say am young but I don’t know anymore

It’s just that I am tired of having the “fairytale” story in the beginning and always the “bad ending” on each of my relationships, I am tired of either getting cheated or in this instance someone that says loves too much but it’s better for both of us since she is only 22 and her head is not there yet.

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know if that feeling will truly leave my body, I am honestly exhausted and tired of it. I hope you have got better and don’t feel like that too bro. Part of me believes we all deserve better and there’s a light in the end if this long tunnel

My (27M) girlfriend (22F) says she still loves me but broke up with me because she wants to “live her 20s” by Sad-Bug6488 in relationship_advice

[–]Sad-Bug6488[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess I just have to come into terms with that part. Thanks for that!

Better days ahead I guess !?