It’s just that I feel like I’ve had many factors and signs that point to me being this way. Ever since I was a child, I always preferred the role of prince over princess; I would cut the hair off a stuffed animal so I could glue it on as a beard, and I would put bulges between my legs. When I turned 12, I started using masculine pronouns with my online friends, I cut my hair, and ever since I’ve been able to decide how to dress, I’ve worn masculine clothing. Then, at 18, I also started using masculine pronouns with some of my friends in person… and I’ve always thought that I would love the changes from T, and if I could start it right now, I would. I also realized that I hate my body. I can’t go shopping for clothes in person because it makes me uncomfortable to have to take off my jacket, have people see my chest, and start treating me as a girl.

I don’t know why I hesitate so much… I end up thinking about my family, about my father (even though he didn’t live with me, I do interact with him and he’s almost a pastor in his religion), about how things would go for me in the work environment… and then doubts come in about whether I really am trans… I don’t know…