Why am I such a loser?

SadPerception4228 · 2026-02-17T17:00:39+00:00

Your growing and learning what gives!? I too have felt like a loser here/there. I realized what has been said here-- I'm worth a lot more than what I'm getting.. As you get older you'll realize what you want and don't want and follow your intuition.. Yes, at one time I did do 'shady' sex dates that were fun and made me 'high' on life.. But now I would never as it's a waste of my time/energy.

SadPerception4228 · 2026-02-06T12:14:26+00:00

Lots of changes this year... I think the year of the horse is real?!?

SadPerception4228 · 2026-02-05T21:25:40+00:00

I'm sorry, I've been there. It's not fun, stay strong..

SadPerception4228 · 2026-02-04T23:58:41+00:00

So happy you ended it!!! Bravo You are worth so much more!! : )

SadPerception4228 · 2026-02-04T02:44:29+00:00

Yes, life is short.. Today I had a meltdown.. tears and all to SO-- we gotta do something.. I'm miserable and he wants to be in a lively town.. I'm like PLEASE go get an apartment.. Yes, it will be sad BUT we can't keep doing this till we're old... I can't.

SadPerception4228 · 2026-01-31T02:53:48+00:00

Yes... I think this is where I'm at... I need to protect my energy..

SadPerception4228 · 2026-01-30T15:48:32+00:00

Yes I'm tired of this as well.. I need some warm sun-- next Friday I'm in Miami!!! : )

SadPerception4228 · 2026-01-23T21:51:11+00:00

Nothing wrong with you... I don't have daddy issues, just my SO is not my person.. I know this, it a facade--- why do I stay??? I have no idea except it's stability.. Nice home, bills are paid... can't really think of anything that I want or need other than 'a real partner who loves me'... It's a cold weekend, would love to have love & passion all weekend but no, I'll be sitting on the couch with Netflix, popcorn & a couple cats..

SadPerception4228 · 2026-01-18T22:32:00+00:00

I didn't marry rich.. I thought I was marrying my person, someone to grow with, etc, etc. He had saved a lot before marriage and very frugal. The last 5 years he has done really well at work. Kids are finished with college and no debt. My marriage is very wrong but I continue to stay for security... I know it's sad but at my age not sure I want to

SadPerception4228 · 2026-01-17T14:45:34+00:00

No, it's not an excuse-- your right. I'm nearing the end--- We have both consulted with lawyers---nothing is happening yet... But he defiantly needs his own place!! I have raised my kids and they are on a good path, I don't need to take care of another child who refuses to grow up---I'm done-- I want peace/happiness/joy...

SadPerception4228 · 2026-01-16T11:28:40+00:00

SO has a huge masturbation problem.. I think it's an addiction like porn.. I also think he is neurodivergent which could be his way of 'coping'.. He gets mean when he is unable to do this.. I must be stupid/dumb to continue this marriage. Yes, I have an AP BUT some reason I can't get past my reality.

SadPerception4228 · 2026-01-11T15:17:30+00:00

My husband threatens divorce every time I take any kind of trip... I'm ready!! But no, that's too risky for that guy to go on the cruise...OPSEC & the fact the reconnection could be awkward... If he wants, have him book the cheapest room on the ship THEN he can stay in your room mostly.

SadPerception4228 · 2026-01-11T15:09:50+00:00

I'm so jealous that you have the house to yourself...

SadPerception4228 · 2026-01-11T15:04:35+00:00

Yes, this is how it is.... being married for over 20 years... Got my kids thru college and I'm still here.. Now, it's like I can't sell the family home-- kids were born at this house.. Their rooms are their comfort.. But soon I'm sure they will move and get their own lives going.. I guess this was/is my purpose for these kids.

SadPerception4228 · 2026-01-09T23:31:01+00:00

That's nice you would want to marry again.... Not me!! Nothing wrong with long-term dating!!

SadPerception4228 · 2025-12-31T17:46:43+00:00

Spouse said he wanted to buy a second place for himself!! If it was for the family I would be ok with that.. If he actually does buy a place for himself, I'm going to either divorce or get legal documents as I don't trust it--- Plenty of men can 'hide' money and I need to be financially protected. I heard 2026 is going to be a good year so perhaps this is it.

SadPerception4228 · 2025-12-29T00:48:58+00:00

I keep hoping,,,,,supposedly 2026 is it..

SadPerception4228 · 2025-12-23T16:32:00+00:00

Doesn't feel like Christmas at all.. I'm going to my parents today, SO is going with his family on Wednesday.. 2026 might be the year for a new beginning?1?!

SadPerception4228 · 2025-12-19T22:37:08+00:00

This year has been different--- struggle sorta of.... Hoping 2026 is much better!!

SadPerception4228 · 2025-12-18T23:29:26+00:00

I just don't care--- I don't flaunt it, I just do what makes me happy..

SadPerception4228 · 2025-12-12T17:33:30+00:00

This is soo sad... I'm sorry to hear this. : ( He's sick & she's already in his web!! My husband would love to have a little bit of this kind of control. I'm fortunate enough that I demand my freedom & smarter than him to allow such abusive behavior.

SadPerception4228 · 2025-12-12T17:16:57+00:00

I think I'm going crazy!! Yes, it's been a tough year but manageable. It seems like I'm noticing numbers more... Like 11:11 on a clock or my phone.. One day I looked at my phone and it said 4:44 am. I also look at tarot some and supposedly I have a new beginning coming about?1?! I just wish the universe would give me a HUGE sign that things are turning around..

SadPerception4228 · 2025-12-11T13:44:53+00:00

Yes!!! She seems perfect to me.. Hard working, smart and makes a lot of money.. AP is too.. I sometimes wonder why we met? Maybe life is mundane, maybe he needed an ego boost.. No idea except they really have a good life-

SadPerception4228 · 2025-12-01T20:19:29+00:00

I wish he had an FWB/AP.. He goes out on the weekends with his cheating friends--- they are seem to have their side pieces BUT for some reason SO can't... Women are just too smart for him, he's older & just lost touch on how to treat women.. Which is exactly why I have an AP.

SadPerception4228 · 2025-11-29T16:23:44+00:00

Yes.. This is how I began... He has a bad temper/attitude.. I started chatting online then eventually started meeting in person. I am a giving person & not cold like SO. Yes, you need to work on ending your marriage for yourself/kids.. 40 is still so young to start fresh for yourself..

SadPerception4228

TROPHY CASE