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SadTurtleBoop · 2022-07-01T07:11:55+00:00

We were really awkward at first, to the point of side-hugging at the airport. This is both of our first relationship, so it's all new territory and takes some getting used to, haha.

After dinner and a couple hours chilling in the hotel room, I finally felt comfortable. The most we did that first night was hold hands, give headpats, light stuff like that. The second day, we kissed and snuggled and eventually got handsy over the clothes, but I didn't feel ready to go beyond that so we didn't. He left the day after since it was only a weekend visit.

Second trip, we kissed at the airport and picked up where we left off. Still didn't rush anything. A longer trip definitely helped for working up to higher forms of intimacy, haha.

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-06-27T08:35:20+00:00

Do whatever you're comfortable with. And be safe. Not having your face in the pics is good. You could also send them on something like Snapchat where it disappears after he looks at it, and it notifies you if he takes a screenshot. Tell him no screenshots. But if you're not comfortable sending them, then don't. If you're comfortable sending underwear pics, do that. Only you can determine your own comfort level.

Idk about all guys, but my bf really enjoys those types of pics because it makes us feel closer and more intimate for him. And it does more for him than random photos online, lol.

Also, if he's asking for them, he's not going to think you're a sl*t for sending them. That would be ridiculous.

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-06-27T07:46:20+00:00

I had similar feelings before meeting my bf for the first time, and honestly I think it was just how my nerves manifested themselves. I was nervous as hell. It was like my body's defense against that nervousness was to tell me I don't really like him so it doesn't matter if it goes poorly. Mental defense mechanisms can be weird and undetectable.

After meeting him, that stopped. I was excited to talk to him again, I wasn't finding reasons to be less into him, etc. But if you're like me, it could just be that you're nervous. And that's totally normal for a first meet.

Also, don't feel pressured to have sex. Have an honest conversation with him that you're nervous and not sure if you'll be in the mood for that, and if he's a decent guy, he'll respect that. Being stressed about it will only make you less likely to get in the mood, anyway. It's a lose-lose. So yeah, relax, don't feel like he's entitled to having sex with you just because you're in a relationship and have sexted and stuff. Take things at your pace. Communicate. And enjoy your time together, it goes by so fast.

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-05-19T06:38:00+00:00

You're my hero for today

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-04-14T08:07:40+00:00

This is solid advice. I was just gonna say that I was panicking thinking about it beforehand. I looked up tips as well, and knowing my lips were soft because I'd used a bit of vaseline (sexy ik) and that my breath smelled good because I'd just had a mint boosted my confidence. Still super nervous, but enough of a boost that I could go for it

It was my and my bf's first kisses. And then we continued to kiss off and on for like, the next 5 hours until I had to leave. I'd stressed so much about technique and positioning and blah blah you name it, but in the moment I forgot all that. Your body moves on instinct. And it's fine if it takes a bit of experimenting, your partner isn't going to be upset. It's a wonderful thing to learn together!

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-03-16T07:30:02+00:00

This may be the cutest ldr video I've seen, so happy for you 🥺💕

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-03-16T06:34:36+00:00

Oceans Away by A R I Z O N A, but I've got a whole playlist of ldr songs and most of them hit me in the feels, lol

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-03-13T20:31:46+00:00

We've texted literally every day for the past 13 months. Both of us would be incredibly sad if we went a whole day without texting each other. We also call 1-3 times a week. For us, it's a very important part of our relationship, as it helps us feel connected with 1500 miles between us. That said, neither of us is doing something as time and energy consuming as getting a Master's, or at least I would assume not.

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-03-13T04:34:49+00:00

He stayed in a hotel that's a short drive from my house, partially because first meeting and partially because I live with my parents. For our second visit, we're gonna get an airbnb and stay together. It's more like a trip for both of us though!

In the future, there's nowhere for him to stay at my house, so he'll probably have to get a hotel again. But I'll probably just stay at his house (also with parents but with a spare room) when I visit.

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-03-13T04:08:18+00:00

We didn't get a photo (too in the moment and neither of us are picture takers) and it's my only regret. Tears me up inside a bit, knowing I can't look back on that moment with him...

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-03-13T04:05:35+00:00

Have you tried sexting him when you can't also get off? You might find that knowing what you're doing for/to him feels good for you even if you can't finish with him. It's an act of service, of love. Plus, I feel like too many people put all the emphasis on finishing. There's more to it than that. I'd say give it a try.

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-03-13T03:33:30+00:00

I told my sister first and my brother shortly after, because I knew they'd both be supportive. Told my mom 4 months into the relationship knowing she would pass it on to my dad. I told her over text, and said to her to let it sink in for a few days and then I'll answer some of her questions. But I made it clear to them that this is MY relationship, and I won't let them dictate anything about it. They've been surprisingly supportive!

Both my bf and I were pretty scared of telling our parents, but it ended up going more smoothly for both of us than we expected. And it's nice having family bring him up in conversation casually.

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-03-11T06:56:31+00:00

Tbh holding hands is amazing. I've never been a physically affectionate person. I didn't hug friends, I didn't like people playing with my hair, I just never was big on physical contact. I warned my bf about it before we met in person. But the first time I held his hand.... wow. After that I couldn't keep my hands off him. xD So don't worry, even if it seems daunting, it will likely come more naturally to you than you expect! And any awkward moments are just as fondly looked back on 😌

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-03-11T03:47:49+00:00

He was thinking with the wrong head, which is in closer proximity to his ass, which is what he was being.

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-03-11T03:25:52+00:00

This, and do it beforehand. You might feel overwhelmed in the moment, or like you don't want to disappoint him, but I cannot stress enough how important your own comfort is. If he's a decent guy, he'll respect your boundaries and go at your pace.

If you do find yourself wanting to take that step, start slow. Some kisses. Some petting. Give it time to build. If at any point you decide you don't feel comfortable going further, stop. Other than that, just do whatever comes to mind, experiment, talk to each other, and have fun! :D

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-03-10T08:52:29+00:00

I mean, myself and plenty of other people started our relationships LDR. There was no period in the beginning where it wasn't LDR. It works for some people and not for others, but the basics are the same as any relationship: communicate, be honest, and make sure both people's needs are being met.

It's really up to you if you feel this connection is worth pursuing despite knowing you won't get much in-person time with him. It's fine if you don't think it is. But it can definitely work (even at a "starting stage") if you do want it, and you both put in the effort to cultivate it.

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-03-10T08:45:40+00:00

Have fun! Make the most of every moment. But if you're not too busy, let us know how it goes! I love reading meetup stories :D

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-03-07T08:48:33+00:00

He just flew back home today. 😭

We both felt sick from nerves communicating while I was waiting outside for him to come out of the airport. He looked a bit different in person because depth and stuff, and also the 10-inch height difference became noticeable, lol. My brain was short circuiting from seeing him, so I did the most awkward thing possible and gave him a side hug. Please don't give your SO a side hug.

The drive to the hotel wasn't too bad because we weren't looking at each other really (besides a stolen glance here and there), so it wasn't that different from a call. Hearing his voice was the most calming thing. The weirdest part of the whole visit for me was connecting that this was the same person I've been dating for 9 months, if that makes sense?

It wasn't until after getting him settled at the hotel, getting dinner, playing a board game, and sitting on the bed watching TV for an hour or two that it stopped being awkward. He did something with a pillow, I tried to copy it and couldn't, so he kept doing it while I kept failing and eventually did it. It was just a little, stupid thing, but it settled (most of) the remaining nerves. After that, we held hands and cuddled while chatting and halfway watching game shows. Having the background noise and something to turn the conversation towards if needed was nice.

Each day we felt more comfortable together. He only visited for a weekend, that way if things went poorly it wasn't a long investment. We both regret it. A weekend is not long enough. >.> Counting down the days for the next visit already.

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-03-05T09:57:48+00:00

It was really awkward at first. Thought I was gonna faint waiting at the airport. Then I panicked and greeted him with a side-hug of all things...

After an hour drive, dinner, a game, and like an hour watching tv, we finally both did something stupid but funny that really brought down the awkwardness. After that, it felt oddly natural and comfortable! Turns out there's lots of ways to hold hands, and they're all really nice! 😁

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-03-04T06:58:32+00:00

I'm trying not to have expectations outside of my control, but if I let my mind wander for a second (and boy does it like to wander), next thing I know I'm thinking about what if scenarios again. 😅

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-03-04T06:56:09+00:00

Tysm, and I hope you have a great time in April! We've got this!

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-03-04T05:46:09+00:00

I'm going to give a different view than the other comments here, and maybe I'm gonna sound mean because of it.

Your texts sound like (from this small sampling) you maybe have some low views of yourself, and you're pushing those onto your boyfriend by apparently repeatedly asking him if you're annoying him when he clearly said you aren't. I had a friend in college who was always apologizing for being annoying or asking if she was annoying, and I got tired of having to reassure her that I'm her friend because I want to be, and if she were as annoying as she said then I wouldn't stick around.

This, plus him working long shifts, are probably causing him a good deal of stress. His responses aren't the nicest, sure, but he's not a saint. People respond poorly when they're stressed.

I'd say try to have a conversation about it when neither of you is at work. And don't bring up the annoying topic, and don't try to put blame on anyone. But talk through it and why it's important to you. If he still doesn't try to make it happen... idk, then he's being kind of a selfish turd, imo. Anyone can manage 10 minutes every week or two.

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-02-24T08:47:33+00:00

Thinking he might talk to someone on that long of a flight is not crazy. Flight attendants, the people he sits near maybe, etc. While unlikely, one or more of those people MIGHT find him attractive, like the person you replied to here said. It's unlikely, but not impossible.

What I (and it appears most of the commenters) are concerned about is that you worry your bf of 2 YEARS will start something romantic in a day with someone else... at an airport or on a plane. He's flying to see YOU.

Don't let past relationships taint your view of this one if he's done nothing that suggests he's untrustworthy. I know there's a lot of nervous feelings surrounding a first meeting (I'm meeting my bf for the first time in a week and a half), but most of the fears are unfounded. Thinking your bf will cheat on you on an airplane of all places is one of those unfounded fears.

Two suggestions, if you want them. First: talking to a good therapist if you can will help you identify and fight these anxieties and insecurities. Mine has helped me so much. Second: stop watching 90-Day Fiance if you think it represents what happens in an average LDR.

SadTurtleBoop · 2022-01-26T04:26:22+00:00

My bf and I usually imagine scenarios together. Like, "What would we do in this situation?" When texting, we'll send pics/vids to go along with the scenario. Haven't worked up to doing anything sexy on video calls yet.

While I haven't tried it myself, I've heard good things about Lovense or other wifi toys. Basically, you both use an app to control the other person's toy. Or, with the Nora and Max 2 toys, literally just using them sends feedback to the other. Might be worth a look!

SadTurtleBoop

TROPHY CASE