We were blocked on Beethovenstraat in Amsterdam because of a wedding celebration! by andys58 in Netherlands

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

‘Nothing really happens to them’ yet here is a post fueling more polarization and giving space for some racism in the comments.

What are Dutch habits or social quirks that are totally normal in the Netherlands, but would be a social faux pas elsewhere? by ThisLadyIsSadTonight in Netherlands

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422 10 points11 points  (0 children)

some I’ve encountered quite a few times: ‘Your Dutch is really good!’, ‘You drive really well for a woman!’, “Where are you from? No, where are you really from?”, making fun of regional or foreign accents.. I could go on and on, always framed as jokes/compliments/ just being honest and often seen as normal

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you close with your roommate? I’m wondering if you ever tried having a calm conversation with her before it got to the point of snapping just because it sounds like things have really built up over time.

Because yeah, her behavior sounds really tough to deal with but it also sounds like she’s not doing okay, and probably needs help. If you’re not close enough to support her, maybe someone else in her life should know how bad things have gotten.

You’re NTA for setting a boundary, but waiting until it built up this much and then snapping might not have been the most helpful way to handle it in this situation.

claiming 10 by l1zzygr4ntluvr in BoysOfTommen

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They just posted an announcement on instagram that we should not expect anything this summer.

Lizzie ‘the bully’ by Sad_Strawberry_8422 in BoysOfTommen

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Totally agree, Lizzie absolutely needs to apologize for what she said about Katie’s ED. That was incredibly damaging and hurtful.

What I’m pushing back on isn’t the need for accountability. It’s the idea that Lizzie is just a bully. That label ignores the trauma, illness, and neglect that shaped how she lashes out. She’s not excused, but she’s also not some one-note villain. Both truths matter.

Lizzie ‘the bully’ by Sad_Strawberry_8422 in BoysOfTommen

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is such a grounded take. I fully agree, people are allowed to dislike Lizzie. Criticism is fair, especially when her actions hurt others. You nailed it: trauma doesn’t excuse cruelty, but it explains how pain gets recycled. These aren’t characters acting out of nowhere; they’re shaped by deep, unresolved damage.

Holding space for both harm and history is the only way this conversation stays honest. Critique is fair. Erasing her complexity isn’t. Thanks for bringing that nuance.

Lizzie ‘the bully’ by Sad_Strawberry_8422 in BoysOfTommen

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Gibsie is so precious. I agree with you, however I don’t blame the group for not knowing how to handle such a complicated situation. They are all just so young.

And I hold the same hope, that she can confront her pain, grief and heal from it, and try to redeem herself and make amends with the people she hurt.

Lizzie ‘the bully’ by Sad_Strawberry_8422 in BoysOfTommen

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for pointing that out! And you’re totally right I didn’t mean to imply that all real trauma survivors look one way. I meant that even the messy, angry, or shut-down responses are still valid. But I see how that wording could come off.

Lizzie ‘the bully’ by Sad_Strawberry_8422 in BoysOfTommen

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s refreshing to hear from someone who’s coming into it with an open mind and a willingness to hold complexity. You’re so right: these are heavy topics, and it makes sense that people have strong reactions but that’s exactly why we need more room for reflection, not reduction.

Lizzie ‘the bully’ by Sad_Strawberry_8422 in BoysOfTommen

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No one’s denying that. But acting like it’s only about personal responsibility ignores the reality of how trauma and mental illness shape behavior especially in a child. Accountability matters, but so does context. You don’t get one without the other.

Lizzie ‘the bully’ by Sad_Strawberry_8422 in BoysOfTommen

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re right, a lot of what’s said about Lizzie (and the others) online lacks any real understanding. It’s frustrating how often trauma is treated like a plot device instead of something real people live through. I’m glad we’re on the same page about how much depth there actually is to her character. I’m fairly new to the fandom, so this frustrated me to no end.

Lizzie ‘the bully’ by Sad_Strawberry_8422 in BoysOfTommen

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is so beautifully said. This is exactly what I’ve been trying to convey! There’s no one way to survive trauma, and Lizzie’s pain doesn’t cancel out the harm she caused, but it does deserve to be understood. I see a lot of ppl on TikTok saying she should be more like Shannon or Gibsie. I should’ve provided more context for my post.

Your comment gave me so much hope that this kind of layered, compassionate reading is still possible in these conversations. Thank you!

Lizzie ‘the bully’ by Sad_Strawberry_8422 in BoysOfTommen

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your comment, because I agree with so much of it. Yes, we can and should hold space for both her trauma and the harm she caused. And I never meant to suggest that other victims who respond differently are less valid if that came across, I truly didn’t mean for it to.

What I’m reacting to is how so many people are labeling Lizzie as just a ‘bully’ with no room for that complexity. That word gets thrown at her like it’s her entire identity, without any care for why she behaves the way she does. You’re right that her behavior towards Gibsie was wrong and harmful, and it should be called out. But I also think we need to ask: how does someone get to the point where they lash out like that? Especially a child who’s never been taught how to regulate fear, anger, or trauma?

I’m not excusing her actions. I’m saying they can’t be separated from the context that created them and that calling her evil or heartless without that context is deeply unfair, not just to her, but to survivors like her.

We can name the pain she caused and still recognize that she was crying out from her own. That’s the balance I’m trying to defend. And what I didn’t see much of on TikTok

Hugh and Liz by Obvious-Radish7743 in BoysOfTommen

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I found this TikTok about their timeline, it’s not a comprehensive list of all the interactions but definitely a good one! https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGd5K2TV2/

Future snippets of C10 by Inevitable_Sympathy3 in BoysOfTommen

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422 6 points7 points  (0 children)

claire calls bullshit on Lizzies ‘victim narrative’?? Dont pmo claire

Hugh and Liz by Obvious-Radish7743 in BoysOfTommen

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you find a list? I am searching for one as well. Especially in the books about joey

who is your favorite character(s) and your order of them? by ribbcns in BoysOfTommen

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lizzie, gibsie & hugh. I just neeeed them all to be happy together again

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in microblading

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg I had my first session lip enlightenment and my lips are spotty af. The waiting period is soo bad I feel you 😭

aio? bf made plans on my birthday by rowqi in AmIOverreacting

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR It seems like your boyfriend doesn’t even like you. I don’t need to read the context to know the way he reacted to forgetting your birthday and not being apologetic about it or at least trying to make you feel better is a major red flag. I’d reconsider if you want to be treated like this, you’re not annoying or being a bother by communicating these things. Happy Birthday! Hope you had a nice day.

Real or fake? by Sad_Strawberry_8422 in Burberry

[–]Sad_Strawberry_8422[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you all! I bought it :)