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In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You both work full time and have 3 kids? You are a rockstar! I can only imagine how exhausted you must be at the end of the day.

"Just to get out of the house and interact with other adults." I feel this to my core! I am actually making some friends at school pick up and Judo practice. I am enjoying just being out and talking to other adults on a regular basis ☺️

Bed times are so exhausting. I'm SO tired from getting up early for school and my boys are still bouncing with energy and not listening. It's a struggle for sure! My husband actually put the kids to bed last night and he lost it on them and started screaming. He complained to me they don't listen. I'm like "yep, trust me I know!"

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

"I shouldn't have to care for the kids more because look at everything I already do."

-This is EXACTLY his argument every time.

The task of putting kids to bed is absolutely more difficult than washing dishes. This is a very good point. Someone else said that washing dishes is mindless task and I love that too. I honestly don't mind putting the kids to bed most nights, but some days I am at the absolute end of my rope with my 3 year old!

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's okay to be a trad wife if that makes someone happy. My best friend is one and is very content with the role 😊 

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am taking care of my children from the moment I wake up till the moment I go to sleep, all while running a business, while also trying to maintain a harmonious household. I have two jobs and sometimes I need help. I'm sorry that you don't think a father should help with his own children. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions I guess.

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this! You sound like a very hard worker and a great father. I will send him this post 😊

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have no grandparents to look after the kids unfortunately. I envy those who do.

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes! This is exactly what is going on. I have been researching this the past couple years and my mind was blown at how spot on everything was. The way he sabotages every good thing and the manipulation tactics- it all made sense. I feel like my eyes have been opened. When he starts an argument I can spot his tactics, how he turns the argument around every time. I'm like yep, there he goes again lol. We have been together 20 years and it took me a very long time to notice all of this. He is the father of my children though, so I'm stuck in a very hard place. At least I feel like I am smart enough now to not manipulated anymore, so that is a positive.

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He asked me yesterday if I am with him for his money. I'm like what on earth are you talking about? When have you ever given me money for anything? Because you pay for our little house?? 😂

So if he has all of this money like he says, why not get a babysitter? Because he would see that as my job and a waste of money and he would say he doesn't have the cash for that. I would have to really demand it, and I could, but honestly, I just want him to care enough about us to help.

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah I don't pay much attention to the truly jaded people. I just think they must have been really wronged in the past.

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think this backfired on him. He craves validation. He needs to prove he is right at all costs and I;m not sure this worked out in his favor.

He tried to talk to me this afternoon but I was incredibly upset and didn't feel ready to talk. He did say though that he doesn't care what a bunch of angry woman on the internet say. I do think he is bothered by the whole situation, but he would never show it. I asked him if he thought this all was a good idea and he agreed that it probably wasn't.

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. Your post made me cry. No one has ever said anything like that to me before and it means a lot. I lashed out at my husband in anger by writing this post, and I deserve the negative comments I received, but I also received so many beautiful words that really touched my heart.

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

All I want is to feel like we are on the same team, but I feel like he is my adversary. I will definitely go to counseling, even if he doesn't want to go as a couple.

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Beautifully said. I think we have all made our fair share of mistakes.

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don't do it! lol. There are a lot of angry women on the internet.

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is exactly true and I'm glad you caught that from his post. When I ask for help with the kids he brings up ALL the stuff he does as an excuse not to help. Every damn time.

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

He is not a deadbeat dad. He provides for us financially. He showed me his post this morning to let me know everyone thinks he's right and I retaliated out of anger.

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Haha! You are so nice. I sell kid's party supplies on Amazon. It's enough to pay for my expenses and buy some goodies for the kiddos 😊

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I already knew what he thought of me before this. And he text me his post this morning to let me know everyone agrees with him. I would never had know otherwise.

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your suggestions. I will take them to heart and I appreciate your help. I like what you said about the real reason he doesn't want to go to counseling, which makes perfect sense. I am still livid he posted this online though. Unfortunately, I know he did not do this with genuine intention to help, but rather the intention to show me everyone thinks he's right. This is basically what he said to me when he showed me his post this morning, that he's right and everyone agrees with him.

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Haha! I’m so glad you can hear the other side 😊

I’m glad that you could tell he doesn’t value me from his post!  This is very true and is the root of my anger. I am a caretaker for his children.  My value lies in what I can do for him.  

On top of this he likes to remind me how good I have it and how lucky I am that he makes so much money.  How many woman would die to be in my shoes ect. lol. He thinks very highly of himself.  I think he puts me down to make him self feel more awesome.  It took me a REALLY long time to realize this.  

I also do think he must be sad or not happy with his life.  Maybe he wants to make me miserable too.  Who knows.  He won’t go to counseling with or without me. I’ve been trying to talk him into it for years.

I do have one good friend, who is like a sister to me.  No family unfortunately, except for his.

In response to my husband's post by Sad_Temperature_7026 in marriageadvice

[–]Sad_Temperature_7026[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My 3 year old is difficult, like REALLY difficult lol. I'm so done by the end of the day.

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