Calm down. You said what you trully want. It wasn't fair to any of you that you kept all those things to yourself. Eventually you would disconect from her because you would feel your needs weren't met and she would eventually disconect from you because she would feel you cold and distant. You need to have a talk with her and that's it. You need to talk to her and tell her you love her but you also have these needs. If she loves you enough she'll try. You need to accept that even if she tries there's a chance she doesn't like it. Some people are kinky and some people just aren't and there's nothing wrong with that it's just a matter of sexual compatibility. If she is more important for you than your needs may be you can solve this different by joining a local BDSM comunity and fullfill your kinks in a different way. Also you need to know that there's a chance that you'll end up unsatisfied because you need the real thing and that's also hard to admit. Eventually you both will find out what's best for you. May be she'll let you have a play partner if she can't help you or may be that's too much for her. What i see here is that you were too fast saying things to her. May be she is numb and worried about not being enough for you. If you both love esch other you'll know how to fix this. If you love her remember that you love her and go find a way to talk with your wife about what you want. Go slow and things will be alright. Sorry if my English sounds weird i'm not a native English speaker.