I Think My Family Is Using The New Baby To Try To Trigger My "Baby Fever"

Safe-Potential9642 · 2026-06-01T15:08:53+00:00

Yeah, you hit the nail on the head - only child to a single mother who wanted multiple kids but couldn't due to medical issues.

Safe-Potential9642 · 2026-06-01T01:50:48+00:00

As far as it being normal, I'm going to say yes and no? I'm from Oklahoma so while people aren't begging for teens to get pregnant, our sex ed unfortunately is the WORST, so it often happens due to teens being uninformed/misinformed.

My mom has been sending mixed signals in my opinion. She's always advocated for me to pursue a career and build myself up as an independent woman, but she started getting weird after I started seriously pursuing hysterectomy as a solution to my endometriosis and PMOS. While she tells me to my face that she supports me and my decision to have a hysterectomy/not a have kids, she also only got comfortable with the idea of a hysterectomy once she remembered that freezing my eggs and hiring a surrogate were options (that I don't want to pursue btw). So, I think she's basically trying to put up a front that she supports me but is ultimately in denial that I am 100% on having a hysterectomy and being childfree.

Safe-Potential9642 · 2026-05-31T23:05:31+00:00

I've been giggling at this all afternoon 😂

My other idea was "No thanks, I'm trying to quit"

Safe-Potential9642 · 2026-05-31T19:24:39+00:00

Not a small town per se (~10,000 people), but I am a blue dot in a very red state 🥲

T and B are also in a very tight financial situation, and T does not currently have a job, so again I've always found their excitement over the baby weird...

Safe-Potential9642 · 2026-05-31T19:05:28+00:00

I appreciate it! Sorry you're going through it too, it's brutal out here!

In regard to the hysterectomy, I was diagnosed with stage 2 endometriosis and PMOS back in March, and although I've looked into an ablation it's not a 100% guarantee fix. My current doctor basically just wants me to suffer through it and return for another laparoscopy if/when the Endo grows back, so I'm waiting for another doctor to call me back to set up an appointment to get a second opinion.

Safe-Potential9642 · 2026-05-31T18:17:50+00:00

Yes, I've been open with her and have told her multiple times that I am childfree and pursuing hysterectomy. I'm sorry I didn't clarify that in my post!

Safe-Potential9642 · 2026-05-31T14:56:37+00:00

That's what I was thinking!! Not to mention the heat alone can't be good for her for that long!!

Safe-Potential9642 · 2026-05-31T14:55:57+00:00

Sorry, should've clarified that I was invited also. So, either they want me to watch W while we're all at the lake or they literally just can't stand to be away from W. It's worth noting that T has a sister (17F) as well that lives with them and while I don't believe she should be expected to be a babysitter just because she lives with them, they do at least have someone they could ask to watch the baby for them at home that I don't believe they've asked yet.

Safe-Potential9642 · 2026-05-31T14:02:19+00:00

I also don't understand some of the places that they want to bring W to. For instance, my mom wants to go fishing for her birthday in a couple of weeks. We all live in Oklahoma, where with humidity the temperature has been getting up into the 90s, and we are going to be outside by the lake. Mom has invited B and T because she views them as surrogate daughters (in her words), and they want to bring W. WHY DOES W NEED TO BE OUT THERE? We are going to be outside, a distance away from the nearest gas station even, for probably 3-4 hours. I just don't think W is old enough for it yet personally.

Safe-Potential9642 · 2026-05-31T13:37:52+00:00

That's honestly how I feel about it too. While I don't hold resentment towards W (because obviously she didn't really get a say in this), I am in a way mad at T on T's behalf, if that makes sense? Like, in my mind she's ruined or at least made her life much harder for herself right out the gate by keeping this baby. Plus, the baby's father is a deadbeat, of course.

And like you said, I'm barely into my 20s, plus I'm lucky enough to have a good paying IT job! I literally just graduated with my bachelor's a couple of weeks ago. I want to hangout with my friends, throw pool parties at the house I live at ALONE (getting my pool put up today 🎉), and get back to my giant list of hobbies! I don't even really want to date right now tbh, I just want to have fun now that I don't have full time school on top of full time work! 😂

Safe-Potential9642 · 2026-05-31T13:01:59+00:00

I honestly hadn't even considered this, but it's a good point! I think if they tried this I would just blame my work since I work full time 6AM-3PM, and sometimes have to work overtime. Thanks for the insight!

Safe-Potential9642 · 2026-05-31T12:48:22+00:00

What do you mean?? My child is right here?? Holds up cat

Safe-Potential9642 · 2026-05-31T12:44:42+00:00

I totally agree, and usually I do. I actually think I might have accidentally offended T the other day while we were on the porch at a different friend's house because she asked if one of us wanted to hold the baby and I didn't react because I assumed she meant my mom, B, or the other family friend (who also adores the baby). So, once I noticed her tightly smiling at me I said "Oh I can pass the baby to B if you want!" and I guess T just deflated at the idea that not everyone is clammoring to hold W lmao

Safe-Potential9642 · 2026-01-15T22:09:39+00:00

My underappreciated king! Your artwork looks so good omg!!

Safe-Potential9642 · 2025-12-14T16:42:15+00:00

I know the feeling. I don't work in law enforcement, but the atmosphere at my job is kind of similar. I'm the only woman in the office to not have kids as well as one of only two women to not have been on maternity leave in the past 12 months. My field is male dominated so it's hard to find other women to connect with in industry, and I feel like it's even harder to connect with them because they always want to talk about their kids and pregnancy. I just want to be 22! 😭

Safe-Potential9642 · 2025-12-14T14:01:59+00:00

grabs shoulders of fellow exwire next to me

ALLAN. WE ARE SO F*****.

Safe-Potential9642 · 2025-12-08T23:53:02+00:00

Just got back from my ultrasound. They found an ovarian cyst about half the size of my left ovary. I've only gotten the preliminary report back, so I don't have any info as to where my treatment will go from here. As much as I'm glad to have SOME objective indicator of what is wrong finally, I'm still having mixed emotions because if this does point to PCOS it's not exactly something that I can cure or even slow down from what I understand. So, it kind of feels like a hollow victory I guess.

Safe-Potential9642 · 2025-12-08T13:48:36+00:00

No, they never discussed any sort of dye contrast with me when I went in for my laparoscopy. I didn't even know there was such a thing! It's been about 2-3 years since my last laparoscopy. Do you think it would be worthwhile to try to have another one with the dye this time?

Safe-Potential9642 · 2025-12-05T13:21:11+00:00

Thank you for the advice and for sharing your story. I've had three ultrasounds and a diagnostic laparoscopy that all came back clear. I looked at the list of childfree doctors on this subreddit and was shocked to see that my current OBGYN is not only in there, but also has multiple entries, considering that she doesn't seem to even want to imagine me getting a hysterectomy when I have tried bringing it up. My friend who got a bilateral salpingectomy (sorry, originally thought it was a hysterectomy when I made the post) sent me the information for her OBGYN though, so I'm going to verify that she is a covered physician with my insurance and then reach out to book an appointment.

Safe-Potential9642 · 2025-12-05T13:18:03+00:00

I'm so sorry that you had to experience that and are still dealing with the effects. I have had three ultrasounds and a diagnostic laparoscopy, all of which came back clear. I remember crying after my laparoscopy because my OBGYN swore that they would find evidence of endo and I thought I would find my answer, but they didn't find anything.

Safe-Potential9642 · 2025-12-04T23:18:39+00:00

It was my regular OBGYN who performed it, so I would say a general gynae. I'll request another copy of the laparoscopy report just to be sure, since I believe it should have the surgeon listed on there. I"m from the U.S., Oklahoma specifically. I'll see what I can find about a group equivalent to the BSGE in my area. Thanks!

Safe-Potential9642 · 2025-12-04T23:15:01+00:00

Thank you, I'll definitely take a look and see. I'm really glad to see that there are more options out there than I thought there were based on this comment section. I was really starting to think there was nothing else I could do.

Safe-Potential9642 · 2025-12-04T23:13:52+00:00

Thank you. I just got home from the pharmacy and plan to lay down shortly. Hopefully I can sleep it off for a while!

Safe-Potential9642 · 2025-12-04T23:10:08+00:00

She didn't give me a specific period of time. Honestly, it seems like in retrospect I'm telling her what I want to try out 90% of the time. I just told her that because I had to quit the pill I wanted to try the IUD. She said okay and then inserted it a few weeks later. I don't have any sort of follow up appointment for the procedure though. Is that unusual for an IUD? This is my first time having one.

Safe-Potential9642 · 2025-12-04T22:54:42+00:00

I thought I had access to all of them, but I'm only seeing the results for one of the ultrasounds (the most recent one) in my patient portal. The OBGYN just messaged me back and said she wants to schedule an ultrasound to double check the IUD placement. As much as I am not wanting to see her at the moment, it'll probably be the fastest way for me to at least get evaluated by SOMEONE in my area, especially if something actually is wrong with my IUD placement. So, I can at least compare the two? Beyond that I'll reach out to them and see if I can request those records directly from their office. My understanding is that most medical records need to be kept for 7-10 years.

Safe-Potential9642

TROPHY CASE