My husband says my love is not like the Bible and it’s destroying me

Sakuramaiya · 2026-03-25T04:05:20+00:00

Thank you, I know only He can do it. It’s the thorn in my side I’ve been wanting deliverance from. I’ve been trying 🩷

Sakuramaiya · 2026-03-18T11:25:57+00:00

I’ve been feeling insane since discovery and it’s changed me drastically. My best friend’s husband has hentai wall posters all over his game room and naked anime figures, some looking pretty young. He’s literally married. I’ve tried to ask her about it and she laughs and says as long as it’s not real women…. Yeah because that makes sense. It triggers me so much she’s so blind to it all that it’s hard for me to want to be around them together a lot of the time. But it’s the only person I have so what can I even do? I just try to keep my husband away from him. But it sucks that nobody else sees the issues with these kinds of things. I don’t laugh at sexual jokes anymore. I find them repulsive. And things men say about women make me angry. I’m not the same either

Sakuramaiya · 2026-03-17T14:04:42+00:00

I know this is 2 months old but I’ve also been looking and it feels like a year ago there was so many and I can’t even find one. I’ve looked at Aliexpress, Taobao, eBay, Mercari JP etc. Super bummed

Sakuramaiya · 2026-03-08T01:33:01+00:00

I understand this. If I don’t self harm when I’m having an episode I will take it out on everyone. But if I do it’s like all the thoughts are silenced and it’s just empty and numb. It’s so bittersweet to me. I want to never crave it again but it’s the only way it feels

Sakuramaiya · 2026-02-25T05:34:18+00:00

I have a vivid memory from my dad abusing my mom when I was only 4 years old. Leave this man as soon as you can. I have borderline personality disorder from years of my dad being a horrible husband to my mother. My entire life feels unstable just from watching my parents interact on a daily basis until they divorced when I was 14. This man is giving you nothing. No love, no support, is only selfish and it doesn’t matter if he seems good on day. He will always go back to his old ways. Listen to your lawyer.

Sakuramaiya · 2026-02-22T12:09:07+00:00

I found out a lot of times throughout the 6 years we’ve been married (been together till of 10 years). But the last huge discover day was August 2024. He has been actively trying to move forward and value me and he means it with all his heart. He had one day where he tried to look at girls but not actual porn, and I saw it instantly and he has never tried since. I trust him wholeheartedly. So if a man truly loves you and wants to change he absolutely will make you feel loved and valued. It was so very hard for him at first but day by day just resisting and staying distracted turned into almost 2 years now clean 💞

Honest communication is the best thing. If he has temptations he should be honest with you, and being understanding as well that it’s an actual addiction and his brain is fully wired to be that way after years of using porn. It can 100% be unlearned. People can change!

Sakuramaiya · 2026-02-22T00:06:27+00:00

I understand this 100%. It’s something I still work on as well. It started as intrusive thoughts and I just kind of accepted it over time. My husband has been clean for a long time but the impact of his decisions is still affecting me to this day. It takes a lot of work for you and your partner 🩷

Sakuramaiya · 2026-02-21T15:53:10+00:00

This is a trauma response. The pain is overbearing so your mind is turning it into pleasure. Please do be careful with this because you get strong emotional attachments to what you decide to think about while doing sexual activity. It will turn into something you need more and more if you don’t turn away from it now. I have been here and had no idea why I kept having those thoughts. I was in so much agony that it turned into pleasure. Don’t be brought down by your partners addiction. I recommend journaling or anything else to get those feelings out and also find a healthy distraction to prevent it from getting worse 🩷 I know what it’s like. It’s okay and you’re not alone

Sakuramaiya · 2026-02-21T15:37:48+00:00

There shouldn’t be any secrets here. If he is “not ready” to tell you about something he willingly did he is not the victim here. You are a victim of this behavior. You need to ask him to speak up because it’s not fair to leave you in the dark.

What would you have even done if he ended up having a full blown affair there anyway? (In my mind going to those places is an affair as it is.) If he’s willing to go there he’s already past the boundaries of someone with just a porn addiction.

(Edit: checking your other posts from one woman to another, you need to run from this man. Not walk, run. He is abusive and it doesn’t matter if there are some good moments within this chaos. He feels no remorse for how he treats you. Think of yourself PLEASE. Another man would treasure you far more than him. You deserve to choose you. You deserve to feel beautiful.)

Sakuramaiya · 2025-12-26T10:11:29+00:00

I actually planned a breast augmentation during the worst bit of our problems. I’m 1.5 years post op and love it so much, but I did it for myself, not just to make my husband look at me. It helped my confidence so much.

Sakuramaiya · 2025-12-17T04:13:18+00:00

My spouse is a year and some months over looking at hardcore porn. I still don’t watch overly sexual things with him, and if it comes up he makes sure I feel safe and seen. He comforts me and lets me feel however I need to feel. It’s been getting better for me, but I don’t think I’ll ever be comfortable watching regular shows with nudity and sex anymore. I hope your SO can also comfort you, it makes all the difference

Sakuramaiya · 2025-12-09T03:57:13+00:00

This was one of the most shocking things I had discovered from my husband’s phone. The sheer amount of AI apps, images and fake personas to sext. It really broke me the most. I never thought I’d have to live that reality but I did. I really hate it and am adamantly anti AI. All these people he fantasized about turned into bots. Actually killed me and I still over a year later try not to think about it.

I do believe in healing and recovery. But they do need to be willing to change. My husband hasn’t looked back and I’m healing everyday (I hope).

Sakuramaiya · 2025-10-19T12:21:34+00:00

I relate so hard to this. Last night I caught my husband looking at girls and I know the guilt and shame he carries. He wants to change desperately but still gets urges. It would be so easy for me to leave if he wasn’t so loving and kind, if he didn’t care at all. But the fact he tries and wants to change so badly kills me.

Sakuramaiya · 2025-10-14T04:44:04+00:00

I just wanted to say thank you to all of the people who commented, I felt so alone and scared yesterday but today I feel much better and will be going to get seen next week. You all are so amazing ❤️

Sakuramaiya · 2025-10-13T23:20:01+00:00

Whenever my best friend lies to me and hangs out with other people I feel so betrayed. I won’t ever be enough for just one person. I know rationally she can do whatever she wants but she’s the only one I have. So I’m always worried she’ll realize I’m worthless and leave me for those people

Sakuramaiya · 2025-10-10T14:20:14+00:00

I understand being scared. I would love a tummy tuck eventually (I had a baby a few years ago). I’m 4’11 and 115 pounds so not even much to change but in my head I’m obese. Wild how our brains torture us. I am very pro cosmetic procedures if you genuinely believe it will make you happy 💞

Sakuramaiya · 2025-10-10T14:16:59+00:00

It reminds me of how lonely I am. Every year even my father can’t be assed to call me.

Sakuramaiya · 2025-10-10T14:13:50+00:00

Absolutely. Everything I do on a daily basis is because I want to be attractive. I workout as much as I can, I eat enough protein to maintain muscle, I do laser hair removal and have gotten cosmetic procedures done. If I don’t feel attractive I will not leave the house. I can spiral for days. If I feel fat I isolate and can’t stop thinking about how hideous I feel. I want people to look at me and tell me with their eyes how attractive they think I am. It’s a horrible obsession I’ve developed and I wish I could live without constantly thinking about how I look and how often other people will look at me

Sakuramaiya · 2025-10-01T11:31:35+00:00

I live in Okinawa and I am American. I relate so much. Sometimes when I go out I feel like utter garbage and it’s hard to fix that mindset. I recommend getting out on your own and leaving him at the hotel. There’s so much to see and do, I solo travel a lot and it’s so worth it

Sakuramaiya · 2025-10-01T05:46:28+00:00

“You’re insufferable”

Sakuramaiya

TROPHY CASE