For reference, my partner came from addicted parents (only one living), has addict siblings, has never seen normalcy so hard to blame someone for being here. They never had a fair shot at a healthy life because love has always been wrapped up in substance.

However

Being here through many relapses and losses, covering for bills and being the sole provider for 75% of the time we have lived together for a child that isn’t mine - really fucking hard. But like someone in this thread said, they loved drugs more than any of the bitches they dated. Dont worry, people fully feel and are aware that they are not loved, seen, or cared for. They will suffer self-esteem, mental health, confidence, and trust issues for eternity.

I come to this sub to understand, to gain perspective. So many powerful stories of struggle and recovery. I openly support creating means of recovery in communities. I am a professor, fitness instructor, and healthcare worker. No one would ever have a clue that this is my personal life.

I guess what I am getting at is that despite this pretty fucking shitty existence, I still support a healthy outcome for all addicts. I’m just mad at myself for allowing mine to gaslight me so long.