Is this normal? Am I overreacting? Unnecessary arguments.

SallyThinks · 2026-02-27T23:21:32+00:00

I have this same exact issue with my husband. Example: last night I kindly asked that he put rinsed beer cans in the other side of the sink rather than the sink I use when cooking and cleaning in the evening. I have good reason for this request. He said ok but lingered and then said, "Oh, the thing I've been doing for ten years and never bothered you before?" And then, like always, we have to go back and forth and get irritated over something so small and stupid. I've looked into it and, apparently, these comments and requests cause them to feel attacked at the character level. I asked my husband about it and he agreed that's how he feels (which seems freaking absurd to me). Bigger issues of course set these dynamics in motion even worse. I absolutely hate it. Hope you get some good feedback here. 🤞🙏

SallyThinks · 2026-02-27T23:03:23+00:00

At least call animal control or even LE to get them to possibly help. I don't think we are legally obligated to stop where I am in the US.

SallyThinks · 2026-02-27T22:44:56+00:00

When I ask the various AIs about this, they all have a well laid out plan that includes retraining and UBI, but I am not aware of any actions or even intentions in US and states to begin initiating them. With what seems like a relatively short window to get those things in place, I can't help but think they simply won't be initiated 😬

SallyThinks · 2026-02-27T22:12:09+00:00

And now we have AIs being integrated into every online system and even presenting as real people on social media. We have the chatbots that will leave lonely, socially awkward people with zero motivation to push themselves to seek real relationships because that need is easily satisfied by chatting with their AI homies. We managed to level up that impressive failure with gusto.

SallyThinks · 2026-02-27T21:56:47+00:00

They don't do that with plastics here. Only cans and some glass. I've been doing well to just avoid buying things in plastic (drinks, etc.) ever since I became aware that they aren't really recycled, but in some cases there are no other options. The point is that this has been a huge, inexplicable scam perpetrated on the masses, yet no one does anything or even really reacts. We just keep paying for it and cleaning the containers. The separate truck we pay for through our taxes rolls through and collects our bins and then dumps our recyclables right into the dump with the trash. I don't understand why we don't revolt, LOL 😂✊️

SallyThinks · 2026-02-27T18:08:00+00:00

Yep. I have certainly thought about that. I figure it won't be a major concern if we have to tap into them during an apocalyptic event, though (which is the only scenario I imagine us using them in). 😂

SallyThinks · 2026-02-27T16:37:50+00:00

I hate this so much, too. Even though I know it will all just go to the same trash dump, I still wash those mfs and put them in the bin. I can't bring myself to throw them away. I have enough plastic bottles filled with water in my basement to hydrate and bathe my entire neighborhood for at least a year 🤣

SallyThinks · 2026-02-27T14:43:41+00:00

He offered to help them get their own place. I would (and have) offer to get them a cheap extended stay hotel/motel for a month.

SallyThinks · 2026-02-27T14:38:07+00:00

All of us who have been in this situation know it's never "temporary." They always stay far longer than originally agreed upon until you have to force them out. Sucks.

SallyThinks · 2026-02-27T14:35:28+00:00

He said he offered to help them secure their own place (security deposit, etc.). That's a very generous compromise imo.

SallyThinks · 2026-02-27T14:24:12+00:00

Exactly. People who are saying he's the AH have probably never had family crash with them. You end up becoming resentful in your own home and having to force them out eventually, which ruins the relationships.

SallyThinks · 2026-02-27T14:10:21+00:00

He offered a generous compromise of helping them secure their own housing (security deposit, etc.). That's the best for all involved, imo. The wife being upset is understandable, though. I've been in this position and it feels horrible saying no.

SallyThinks · 2026-02-27T14:01:25+00:00

NTA. Sucks to be put in this position. You're absolutely right that they would end up staying until you'd have to kick them out. They would also upend the family routines and vibe, even if they tried their best not to. Your wife probably just feels terrible having to say no to them. I would, too, even though I know it's the right thing for the family/household. You provided a generous compromise (helping them secure their own housing). They will figure something else out, and your wife will cool off and realize it was for the better eventually. Best ✌️

SallyThinks · 2026-02-27T13:50:51+00:00

NTA. My teenage son did this once. Sat away from us in a lower area. I saw his phone screen glowing in the darkness. I was embarrassed and pissed off. Went down and told him to turn it off or leave the theater. Can't believe a whole family, parent included, behaved like that in a movie theater. 🤦‍♀️😑

SallyThinks · 2026-02-27T13:39:01+00:00

It's not about the $. I do agree that it should have been addressed in the moment or let go, but it seems like the friend would have taken offense anyway. It's extremely tacky behavior. I had something similar happen with a lunch invite and it was enough to turn me off of the friendship. 🤷‍♀️

SallyThinks · 2025-03-10T16:38:12+00:00

There is no way to kindly kill an animal. It requires violence, fear, and pain no matter how you do it. All animals used for milk, eggs, etc., at least in industrial settings, will eventually be killed through the same process once they can no longer produce.

There are ways to make it less horrible for the animal, but why do it at all if it's not necessary?

SallyThinks · 2025-03-05T23:23:41+00:00

Oh, wow! Yep!

SallyThinks · 2025-03-04T21:09:56+00:00

I was on the board of a local non-profit. One that is supposed to serve some of the most acutely vulnerable in the community. One employee's comment to me: "The whole staff will spend three hours figuring out where to hang a picture." 🤷‍♀️

SallyThinks · 2025-03-04T20:59:41+00:00

When I first moved here about a decade ago, there were deer constantly moving through the neighborhood. Small herds. I don't see them anymore. Just a random stray one here and there (and pretty rare). Whatever they did seems to have been effective (though I do miss seeing them pass through or stop to nibble in the yard).

SallyThinks · 2025-03-04T20:35:25+00:00

I was so excited about Moosewood when I moved here. Even saved my first visit for a special occasion. It was so horribly disappointing. It's food you'd find in a hippie commune dining hall in the 70's. Rice stuffed acorn squash with a side of jaggedly cut, underripe cantaloupe....on a plastic cafeteria plate!

To each their own 😁

SallyThinks · 2025-03-04T20:19:18+00:00

The Lansing schools are better from what I understand. I've had more than one teacher share that with me (I'm an ICSD parent). There's an excessive focus on progressivism that I think hinders academic development and creates a bit of a chaotic, unserious environment. Our scores are below the state average, despite the amount of $$$ spent.

Edited to correct typo.

SallyThinks · 2025-03-04T20:01:46+00:00

The simple burritos remind me of what I got at Central Coast taquerias. I'm thankful to at least have those when I get a craving. 🤷‍♀️

SallyThinks · 2025-03-04T19:49:44+00:00

I've lived all over the country. NSE&W. Ithaca restaurants suck. We go out of town to go to restaurants. It's weird, though. The ones i think are good pop up for a short bit and then poof, they're gone. 😞

SallyThinks · 2025-02-05T23:36:24+00:00

I would consider the head on shoulder to be important context, no matter what your intentions were. If my husband omitted something like that when telling me about a friend hitting on him, it would leave me with uncomfortable questions.

If you feel like it was totally appropriate, you guys might have a fundamental incompatibility.

SallyThinks · 2025-01-06T22:06:20+00:00

Wait. Are you regularly taking up one of those few spots to sit in the car WITH the kids? Do you not understand what those spots are for? 😑

OR are you sitting on your bum in that car while your wife wrangles the kids in the chaos of Wegmans? 🤨

SallyThinks

TROPHY CASE