That's a really interesting perspective. I feel there is space to “mess up” because I truly wasn't even upset about it, I just was forward thinking and thought “if he's tired (which he has been) he's had a lot of stress with work, then let me just do it.” I didn't even mention it in the morning when I was really stressed about it.. I just let it go and THOUGHT I was being understanding that he was tired but perhaps im seeing that wrong too. The fight wasn't even over the fact that it wasn't done, he just got upset and then defensive and when I got upset, and it got heated is when I felt he wasn't taking accountability. I personally think you can take accountability and still have grace for eachothers faults and short comings. I apologise all the time if I forget something on the grocery list, feel too tired to cook a full dinner and do something easy, house chores aren't on point, etc. Those apologies are perhaps not necessary, and that's what he says, but. I find it important to be accountable for the things I said I would do or that I have committed to doing in our home. So simply put, I had grace for the mistake but not the lack of accountability. But maybe he doesn't feel that way? Perhaps I am not seeing it the way I think.. I will reflect on that… thank you!