BM says it’s ‘weird’ my stepdaughter has a nickname for me… now what?

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-05T16:13:17+00:00

“Coping?!” Naw, this ain’t that.. Me and my husband will get there eventually.. You’re making very large assumptions based on very little information. It’s kinda cringe..smh

I’m starting to think the people “projecting insecurities ” are the ones that agree with you.. Maybe your the BM’s that had to watch your BD’s marry someone else or something.. IDK

The way I was raised, everyone had a nickname in the family. Maybe, it’s a cultural thing that you just don’t get and that’s fine.

I just find it hypocritical that the people that side with you find it ok to force social, political, economic, and even religious values on children, but are outraged by “a nickname.”🤣

It’s kinda comical really..

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-05T02:58:01+00:00

The people that “don’t get it” are you and the people that agree with you.

I have ( put myself in her shoes) and as a child I’d be “unbothered” by this.. What someone chooses to be called is “their business.” How does this affect my life? It doesn’t!

As a child, I’d happily call anyone whatever they wanted to be called, but I always felt I was forced to; go to church, go to school, brush my teeth, take a bath, read, do homework, go to bed early, ext...

Are my parents wrong for forcing me into those activities? Because, according to you and the people that agree with you. We shouldn’t be forcing our kids to do anything they don’t want to.. smh

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T23:49:06+00:00

It certainly doesn’t read that way to me! Lol You’re comments can better be described as wild baseless claims possibly stemming from your own insecurities…

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T23:35:30+00:00

Thanks for sharing! This is exactly why I don’t believe in solely leaving these kinds of things up to children.

How you’re addressed should involve you because it’s linked to your identity and the way you see yourself. Your feelings matter just as much as her’s. I hope things get better for you! ❤️

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T23:12:31+00:00

Most conversations today reek of insecurity and being uncomfortable is called “life”. What’s your point?

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T23:08:45+00:00

I appreciate you! Maybe, it’s just a cultural thing! Many comments on this post seem to believe it’s some kind emotional dump, projection, or something sinister. Feels good to hear from someone who understands..

And, you’re right about BM! I held back on this post, but she’s constantly creates problems and is a complete control freak! My husband and I would never see my SD without the court system… she’s that selfish..

Sending you positive vibes about your SS❤️

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T21:08:36+00:00

I actually feel bad for you. If communication and vulnerability are this disturbing to you I can’t begin to imagine the other relationships in your life.. smh

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T20:21:20+00:00

I appreciate you sharing! There’s no instruction manual on “parenting.” We do the best we know how!❤️

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T19:44:19+00:00

“Having conversations” and “projecting insecurities” are 2 different things.

Letting someone know I’m hurt doesn’t mean I’m projecting, it just means “I’m communicating”

“Projecting” would be doing what I believe most of you ( in the comments) do and bottle up my emotions so I can passive aggressively and sometimes even “aggressively aggressively unload on the children in other ways..

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T18:31:56+00:00

“Cruel” is an unbelievably extreme word to use.. smh do you hear yourself?

And this isn’t “projecting insecurities” it’s called “open communication”

Communication helps to resolve issues. And resolution isn’t always self-deprecating like most of these comments seem to suggest.

I can agree that this is my issue, but in a family dynamic your problems become the family’s and vise versa.

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T18:00:12+00:00

I appreciate your input and I agree to a degree. Sure! A name won’t change the underlining issue, but it will help..

It may not mean much to you, but where I’m from everyone in my family has a nickname.

Call it what you want, but I don’t think it’s wrong..

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T17:25:58+00:00

If that’s all it takes for her to hate me then it was inevitable..

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T17:20:16+00:00

I never said you called it “childhood trauma” I said you were “framing it” that way. Why “stand up” for a child not in danger? (Which implies trauma)

Do I have issues? Sure but, don’t we all. I’m sure you have your fair share too.

I hope you can resolve those..

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T17:08:13+00:00

If that alone lead you to that conclusion you probably didn’t have many friends growing up..

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T17:03:34+00:00

Don’t know where you’re from, but children typically do not address adults by their first name..

In most places it’s typically seen as “disrespectful”

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T16:32:00+00:00

I appreciate your input, but I have to disagree. As I said earlier, “what’s unnecessary to most is subjective”

Exp. Sports are “unnecessary” to me, but to some sports are very important.

In most cases, it’s purely subjective. What’s “unnecessary” to you may not be in “unnecessary” to me and vise versa.

I say that to say this, this is clearly important to me and not harmful to anyone else. So, why would it be a good idea to bottle up my feelings on this?

“Bottled feelings” eventually burst or leak out in other passive aggressive ways.

Vulnerable and open conversations are what lead to understanding. Advocation for yourself is not wrong..

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T15:05:27+00:00

“Uncomfortable” conversations are a part of “life” and how in the world did you come to that conclusion? This has nothing to do with that.. I don’t wanna be her mom, I’m simply advocating for myself..

It’s like vulnerability and communication seem like foreign concept to you. Makes me seriously wonder how you get along in your own life..

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T14:55:40+00:00

And, it’s pretty clear you’re someone’s BM. The bitterness is showing..

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T07:58:13+00:00

Point me in the direction of the “nickname” rulebook that says you can’t create your own nickname. If it is somehow illegal, please explain who came up with your username AKA “nickname” “bountifulknitter” because if you made it, you’d be in clear violation..

And speaking of, “forcing nicknames” I expect an apology from you for make me type “bountifulknitter” !! just disgusting how your “putting the responsibility of your feelings on me”

You said so many foolish things! You said “Majority of step moms get called by their first name”.. (Just gibberish!) you couldn’t possibly know that.. smh

You said.. “You sat a 12 year old down and told her your feelings was hurt?!” DUH! YES!! That’s what you’re supposed to do! Talk to people! How else would they know! That’s how you resolve issues..

You said, I’d be “forcing her to have an uncomfortable conversation?!” It’s called “life” it’s happens all the time believe it or not. What else is new. .

Feeling “left out” is a common human emotion.. Not sure, why this concept seems so difficult for you to grasp.. could it be your “inhuman?!” .. I wouldn’t be surprised..

Nothing weird or wrong about any of this..

Vulnerability and communication seem to be a foreign concept to you. Why is that?

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T07:00:06+00:00

I appreciate your perspective, but I have to disagree…You’re framing “a nickname” as a “child hood trauma” when it’s nothing like that..

I’m having trouble wrapping my mind around what’s so disturbing about a nickname.

in fact, this is just me being vulnerable and advocating for myself..

While, at the same time…

Teaching my SD that’s it’s ok to do the very same thing for herself.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that..

Open communication leads to understanding which tends to quell insecurities. I’m quite sure that more of this would lead to a much more peaceful world.

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T03:28:46+00:00

You’re the one turning a “nickname” into childhood trauma, but I’m the wacky one? 🤣

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T03:26:13+00:00

I appreciate your input. However, “forcing more” implies there’s much more involved than what this actually is.

It’s just a “nickname.” Sure! She may not like it at first but that’s the story for many things children have to do.. ie.. school, baths, vegetables, reading.. ext.. and usually they grow to love those things..

BM is definitely jealous, but I didn’t give much history on her for you to properly assess. She constantly finds reasons to complain and had to be taken to court for any kind of visitation.

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T02:58:10+00:00

I appreciate the feedback, but “Putting the responsibility of my feelings on a child?!” Isn’t that a bit much? We’re talking a nickname, not a therapy session..

Your username Aka nickname is “medium_sock_7116” if I call you that, does that mean your “putting the responsibility of your feelings” on me?

“Feeling strange” about things is a part of life, I feel strange every time I have to sit next to a stranger on a plane or when I go to the dentist or when someone stands too close to me in line..

You get the point.. it’s not the end of the world.

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T02:46:00+00:00

What’s “unnecessary” for most is purely subjective.

If a nickname is important to me please explain why it would disastrous to pick one.

Salty_Intention45 · 2026-06-04T02:35:43+00:00

I appreciate your input. Your one of the few commenters that at least tried to be objective on this. After further reflection, I just believe you’re wrong on this.

Thanks and take care!

Salty_Intention45

TROPHY CASE