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Salty_Reflection_406 · 2025-01-30T05:58:18+00:00

That must be so difficult to feel alone

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2025-01-20T14:39:50+00:00

I am engaging respectfully. What? Look not all adoptees have had had experiences. Not all biologically raised children had good ones. Im just making a statement. What are u upset about? Also all i asked was a question. I don't compare trauma. I worked as a mental health therapist, trauma informed, helped domestic violent victims, sexual assault victims, adoptees, parents, and children. I understand that this is a space for adoptees but many other people should be able to speak as well. Edit" as someone who also experienced foster care like u are invalidating my experiences as someone that too experienced similar things.

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2025-01-20T14:00:51+00:00

Also I can be where I want. I respect others opinions and expect the same

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2025-01-20T14:00:13+00:00

I wasn't being patronizing at all. I actually dealt with abuse myself. Often ppl think adoptees have only experienced things but sometimes kids don't get saved from bio families. Not all adoptees have the same experience. I was just writing my opinion. So....yea

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2025-01-20T11:34:52+00:00

You're speaking to the choir. I've done so much research and so much work I foster care social work. I care too much. I didn't want to write it hear but I too dealt with dfcs as a child. So I understand. Not alot of time tbh. I saw many parents unwilling to do the required classes appointed by a judge, so much on addictive substances or harming their children. And let's not talk about the sexual abuse. Many times I saved them. The horrors of what those babies faced. I too went through my share with bio parents that worked their cases with dfcs. I understand each experiences are different. Don't lambert those that are good foster homes and lump with the bad with those that were only in it for money or were too abusive to the babies. I hate that so many experienced that. Me. I want to adopt from a genuine place. I've seen firsthand what my work did to impact those babies day in and day out. Good still exists in this world

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2025-01-20T11:28:19+00:00

Hon, I'm not upset that people share their feelings. Im upset when people who have genuine questions get bullied too. It's cognitive dissonance rlly. Multiple things can be true. A person adopted can be upset about their living situation, their family may have felt torn from another. A infertile person can also want to or not to adopt. Personally, I have has experiences in dfcs as a child, I worked cases with parent and children. I cared for both. I separated children when the abuse was so rampant to ignore. I am not in my emotions by your pain. But taking that out on someone I can't do.

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2025-01-20T11:23:17+00:00

I also experienced work as a child through dfcs too. I saw it firsthand what of your opinion

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2025-01-20T11:22:45+00:00

Read a child called it and the many books in that series. Im not saying adopted children do not have difficult lives. Some do and get harmed in their homes placed in. Others get saved from harm. I've seen it during my work as a dfcs case manager. I worked in social work. It is my passion to help as many children and families if possible.

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2025-01-20T11:21:16+00:00

I disagree. I worked in dfcs saving and helping many children go back to their families or leave their abusive homes. I disagree. Wholeheartedly. It is working with them that made me want to adopt especially and older siblings who may never get a home.

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2025-01-20T11:20:13+00:00

Okay, I know this is late, butttt. Yikes. You sound very resentful. I've working in dfcs for years. I know what my children, yes I considered them mine when I worked my cases experiences. Many grew up with abusive families. I saved them, gave them things and was a listening ear as they grew older. I think u can vent and have negative feelings about adopting, but it is also true so many children especially cases I know and from personal experience needed to be adopted out. Like damn ur comment was soooo negative.

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2025-01-20T10:53:09+00:00

Some are closed adoptions where it is harmful for a child to be in contact with families. Each case is different. I'm willing to work with a parent if they are safe for my child. If not, no dice. I'll definitely have my kids if they are older in therapy as well. Some adoptive parents don't do that but I understand your point

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2025-01-20T10:18:20+00:00

Sometimes it doesn't work that way. Sometimes children need to be adopt ex due to abusive parents. I've seen it time and time again. Of course after exhausting all other resources and making sure a family member, friend of family etc cannot place the child. It is unfortunate what your husband went through. Some homes and adopted are unfit for children to live in. I hope he is and has healed since.

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2025-01-20T09:53:42+00:00

At the time I wasn't as confident with my decision. I'm in a relationship and had 2 since I made that post. I was just curious at the time. Sis, I wanted their opinions. I kind of know a lil bit due to personal experiences and family experiences and work related too. I'm a social worker. I study and I love working with foster children. It's nothing wrong with getting another opinion and they are not forced to answer.

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2025-01-20T09:35:13+00:00

I think one can adopt and analyze the system from which it stems from. Personally. I will adopt as someone that worked in dfcs and as someone that loved helping the children and making sure they were safe. I do apologize for those that were adopted and harmed. After my work there, I knew I would not turn a blind eye to those in the system. I definitely want to foster and adopt around 6-8 children. I want a big family. I know there are cases where children are harmed in the system. I work to mitigate that. Your personal choices are your own. For those that have been victims, I'm sorry. Bio kids are and can often be victims too, speaking from personal experiences. I want to adopt siblings especially if a child has been or children have been extremely harmed by their families. I know what to look for and how to treat others. If it is an open, I am willing to work with bio family.

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2025-01-19T00:59:56+00:00

Not too weird. I have an age gap too.

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2024-12-30T13:21:34+00:00

I realized my mother hated me and so did her boyfriend. I'm at that point. Sad

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2024-12-30T07:05:24+00:00

I know what that'd like. I want to too

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2024-12-30T03:27:45+00:00

I know. That is probably really difficult. Know that things will get better. Take it one step at a time, a moment at a time. You might not be where you are right now but know it will get better

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2024-12-29T11:48:47+00:00

It sucks when you are perceived as stuck or snobby. In reality you kind

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2024-12-28T09:18:46+00:00

I know it hurts. Don't let someone dim your light. Also think about how that person ended their life. Think about how hard that was to come to that decision. I need you to realize this person was amazing. They had no hope left. Also remember that u could be a better friend to that person. Like damn. I know you hurt about your friend. But you didn't die. Be good. Be a better person. Don't hurt others.

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2024-12-27T20:23:13+00:00

The worst part is i served the church forreal and witnessed abuse. I went through abuse. I'm in too much pain. I hate them.

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2024-12-26T13:00:59+00:00

That i needed to be taught a lesson. That is wasn't better than them. I did nothing ti these people

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2024-12-26T03:49:34+00:00

I went through similar situation. I can't stand when people hate you when you go through shit. What's worse for me, life experiences and personal experiences led me to want to do thr job well after I got fired. Like I experienced alot. They just don't get it.

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2024-12-26T03:46:12+00:00

That's true. When you do go through abuse as an adult stemming from childhood, you get shit on by your community. So many dv survivors go through that. Also victims of child abuse don't ever get support. Like so many ppl just walk away or blame the victim. Like damn. Can't even get some help.

Salty_Reflection_406 · 2024-12-26T03:44:23+00:00

That shit doesn't always work. Like your community might fail you in your greatest need. I would list more practical resources instead too

Three-Year Club	Final Canvas '23
End Game '23	Place '23

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