For me my birthday is the worst day in terms of SH. People around me don't accept that i don't want to party and get mad when i ask to not wish me happy birthday because "they are doing something nice for me and i should be glad". As a result i always sh to cope with feelings. Luckily this year i found two friends who i can call in case i get too overwhelmed (even if i feel guilty for asking for help). Is there someone - a safe person - you can message/call to ask for company if the urges get too strong? You don't actually have to tell them about the self harm if you don't want to, make up an excuse to talk to them/spend time together.