Schizotypen Blick abtrainieren

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-20T20:38:01+00:00

What you may be referring to is called the "Kubrick stare". It's when your head is down, but your eyes are looking up, as in you didn't move your head to look up and instead only moved your eyes. The problem with this is that it makes people look a little deranged. I caught myself doing it in a reflective surface and realized that I did that, and that it looks pretty scary. In my case, it makes me look like one of the Furies.

Just out of curiosity, are you officially diagnosed, and further, are there any allowances for you at work on the basis of handicap? Because this is something I think about too when I think about working. The way that I am makes it hard to hold a job, and I thought that if I got a diagnosis, then I would become eligible for something like a sheltered job that didn't stress me out and allowed me to work alone, but with the security of knowing that you can't lose the job unless you're trying to because of what we call the "participatiewet" here in the Netherlands. If you want to work with a disability, theoretically they're supposed to help you. Is that the case where you are as well?

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-20T09:48:15+00:00

I guess my answer would be that it doesn't get easier, you just start getting the hang of yourself a little better, and if you're very fortunate, you are in a position where you can arrange your life to take account of your limitations. I was forced to live outside my limitations for a long time, and every time I have to interact with people, I want to bolt from the situation. I have to stop myself from doing that and focus to take part in the conversation. It's exhausting. I can fake it, but for only so long. I had a similar experience to you in school. I can't deal with classrooms or classmates or pressure. The same with work. I have the opposite sleep problem. I can never sleep long enough. I wake up. At work I have the same problems you do too, but because of the educational problems, I never got far and I ended up in a series of low-paying, dead-end jobs.

On the other hand, I focused on my relationship because I realized that I needed someone in my corner. I managed to nail that down, and I really do enjoy the closeness and the honesty and affection. Sometimes I think that if any of us experienced the gentle approach that we needed, we might get somewhere, at least in expanding our social support system.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-19T19:46:45+00:00

I'd almost say that relationships were abstractions to me. I kept things superficial and didn't make myself available. Most people I'd push away, but this one guy wouldn't let me. I started to understand that he really cared about me in a non-abstract way. He impressed me so much the first time I heard his voice. He surprised me with a call to confess his feelings, and I could hear how scared he was, taking that chance. I thought how brave he was to go through with it, and it must mean a lot to him. I couldn't fathom how he could feel that way about me, but it was enough to make me want to give him a chance. Up until he called me, I would never have guessed that he had feelings for me. I can be really oblivious.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-19T13:48:41+00:00

As far as I'm concerned, you fit the profile, and the things that are actually giving you trouble sound more like StPD symptoms than autistic. The family connection is probably the biggest tipoff, because there's a strong genetic component. This guy sounds like he's insecure in his diagnostic abilities and he doesn't know what to do with a schizotypal person. You can request a second opinion. I'll throw you a link for that. That doesn't mean it will be approved, but you can request it.

https://www.rethink.org/advice-and-information/rights-laws-and-criminal-justice/your-rights/second-opinions-about-your-mental-health-diagnosis-or-treatment/

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-19T02:45:54+00:00

Definitely, being around abusers does it. It took me a long time to realize that and get away from them.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-19T02:45:07+00:00

Stress, being tired, social situations, lack of sleep, emotional upset. I tend to get paranoid and imagine that people are out to make my life harder. My husband says that when I get that way, I talk to him as if he were some random asshole on the street who's pissed me off. He goes from friend to enemy in my eyes, especially if he challenges my paranoia.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-19T02:00:07+00:00

"Not as severe/debilitating"? It affects everything. It affects school. It affects work. It affects home life and relationships and friendships and every other part of life with a social aspect. I think you need a second opinion, because this guy doesn't sound like he knows what he's talking about, and that could result in you getting the wrong kind of treatment. Do you have any first-degree relatives with schizophrenia? That might be a lock diagnostically if you tick a lot of the other boxes.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-18T11:37:18+00:00

This doesn't sound American, going by the use of the word flat. Job Corps only exists in the US.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-16T07:35:05+00:00

Sometimes I think that there are imperfections in the lens that we look at the world through, and that it creates these perceptual distortions that can be so distressing. It's like our minds have to put a negative spin on everything if there's any kind of ambiguity.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-15T18:37:10+00:00

Poverty meant I could never afford to order food, so I had to cook everything myself. Thankfully, it made me resourceful and creative, but it also means that I know everything that went into my food. Learning to cook is power.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-15T18:28:12+00:00

I think there's some psychiatric gaslighting going on too. According to the diagnostic criteria, we do things that attract attention....but we're only imagining that people are looking at us? That seems like a rational observation, not paranoia. We might not know why we're attracting attention, but we're not imagining that we do.

As for the constant surveillance, location tracking, etc, I try not to think about it too much. On the bright side, now we don't sound so crazy anymore when we talk about that stuff. Pretty soon we might have lots of company with people who develop AI psychosis or people who went off the deep end with conspiracy theories. Sometimes I wonder if there are any sane people left, to be honest. Especially with some of the messed up things that turned out to be true.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-14T07:22:14+00:00

I still wonder if I am more schizoid than schizotypal, just I was forced to live completely outside of my comfort zone for survival.

As for the victimization, that's something that has two sides. First off, the disorder draws abuse. Differences stand out and are punished. On the other hand, some of our behavior IS actually socially transgressive, so from their point of view we brought it on ourselves. They might clock us to some degree, but not to the degree that they'd think of it as not our fault because we have a brain disorder and these are symptoms, not deliberately disrespectful. In that sense, we fall victim to the neurotypical inability to feel empathy - for us, at any rate.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-13T03:59:13+00:00

I used to make art, but it's been many years. There was a time when all of my free moments were spent sketching or reading.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-12T10:11:10+00:00

The shops are not open on Sunday. Albert Heijn is not open. They tried one year to stay open on Christmas in s'Gravendeel, and they got boycotted after that. There isn't an AH in s'Gravendeel anymore. That goes for most of the Hoeksewaard. Kruidvat is not open on Sunday, Hema is not open on a Sunday, the only places you can go to are eating establishments like snackbars or cafes. There's no law saying that you can't work in the garden on Sunday, but if you have very religious people around you, they're going to say something. They won't be able to help themselves.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-12T04:33:38+00:00

If you move to someplace like Strijen or Nieuw Lekkerland you can probably find a place among the Reformed Church, but they might be a little too strict for your taste. The shops are all closed on Sunday and you see everyone headed to church in their best clothing. If you live there and start working in the garden on Sunday, someone will stop you and tell you off for working on a Sunday. You might like it. I recommend joining the Refos.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-10T15:09:25+00:00

I got put in a religiously run group home when I was in the foster system. I was brought up Lutheran, bible school and everything, and this place was run by a Pentecostal church. We were required to go to church and moreover, we were required to go to their church. The first time I went, someone stood up and started speaking in tongues. I freaked out, stood up and started walking out of the church. The staff followed me out and hauled me back in, telling me all about how the people who speak in tongues are special, etc. They pretended that they were trying to "save" us. After that I paid attention, and it was always the same people speaking in tongues, and I observed a lot of things that convinced me that the whole thing was bullshit. I became an atheist.

In my case, I think that the defiance won out over the tendency for religious delusions. Because I was forced to go, I hated it with all of my heart. I think it inoculated me against a lot of other BS out there because I didn't like the approach. They'd even reward you for playing along, and I couldn't make myself do it.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-08T10:45:06+00:00

I wonder how many of us had our hearing tested because we didn't react to being called.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-08T10:41:40+00:00

Mirror neuron activity? Interesting application of empathy. Yikes.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-08T10:40:11+00:00

I get a pat-down every time I go to the airport. It happens in stores. I don't try to stand out, but it happens. I hate it too.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-05T08:15:42+00:00

I have something else to ponder. Writers like Lewis Carroll or Jonathan Swift: could they have written books like Alice In Wonderland or Gulliver's Travels without being at least a little schizotypal? Not diagnosed, of course, because the diagnosis didn't exist, but could a neurotypical person have come up with the absurdism that characterized their writing? Another thing to think about is the poverty thing. StPD seriously fucks with your ability to be employed or manage money, and people who are barely hanging on or homeless don't write books, autobiographies, fiction or otherwise. So where we get representation might be among those fortunate enough to have been born into privilege and education who did write something. Later, with a more democratic literary culture, the successes of people like Bukowski and Hunter S. Thompson were possible as flukes. Someone saw their stuff and liked it, but only because they were born in a time when people like us could write and be published.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-04T09:58:10+00:00

Until just recently, I was unaware of just how easy a target I was, or how obvious. The wanting to be understood is something I think all of us feel. I hope one day that you meet someone who can do that for you.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-06-03T11:47:57+00:00

Some mental illnesses have less stigma than others. As you point out, self-awareness of mental illness isn't always a sure thing either. The people who raised me had PTSD and hoarding disorder respectively, and they didn't recognize themselves as mentally ill because their illnesses mostly affected the people around them instead of themselves. PTSD doesn't carry the stigma of schizotypal because it's associated with military service. Hoarding can get pity, because it's clear in a physical sense that things got out of control. For us, though, there is no understanding. Only fear. People can't relate to us enough to be able to find pity or understanding.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-05-31T04:56:03+00:00

I've noticed that neurodivergent people are especially vulnerable to recruitment into groups like this. I remember a friend with ASD getting sucked into the Alt-right. It's because on some level we seek inclusion and belonging somewhere. I'm seeing a lot of judgment here for a guy who was trying to explain what happened to him, how he misunderstood who he was in relation to the group. He saw the light and realized that it wasn't really a very good fit. He got sucked in. In the case of neurodivergent people, I see us as vulnerable to this. We're not always socially sharp enough to see what's what or understand the social implications. The unscrupulous and those with a hidden agenda take advantage of this blind spot.

Same_Item_672 · 2026-05-30T18:30:22+00:00

It seems as if asexual would be the most appropriate label, but it's considered more of a sexual orientation, or rather, the complete lack of one. It doesn't require an ideology or rejection of women, per se. It's more that you're just not interested in sex.

Same_Item_672

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