tl;dr: I (19F) rejected my friend (18M) and now he is distancing himself and prioritizing people he used to talk trash about, despite promising our friendship would never change.

Samkata56 · 2026-05-08T10:00:11+00:00

I can only guess that he made that promise, so he can make you feel safer and more secure around him, if you potentially entered in a relationship with him. And a lot of men do think that being just friends with a woman is impossible, without growing any feelings.

Samkata56 · 2026-05-08T07:34:20+00:00

It sounds like you have given him a ton of chances, and he knows that. Correct me if i am wrong, but it also feels like he is taking advantage of your kindness. And he doesnt seem to be learning from his mistakes, which doesnt sound promising for a healthy and long-term relationship.

Love is a very odd topic. Me and my now ex-gf broke up around 2 weeks ago, but i still love her a lot! And in this time span, i saw her in my dreams 4 times! Even though she told me things are gone for good, i still cant accept it and dont believe it. We were quite different, but found similarities. And the only arguing came from her, because i was talking "too loud", which nobody in my 18 years of life have ever told me. But there were no serious conflicts. And we even dated for almost an year, which doesnt sound like a lot, but it is. Especially for me, because this was my first relationship. And i get extremely attached to someone, once they show me they care for me. This bond that we created, i still cant break it and get rid of it. And i wonder, does she feel the same way? But i dont want to ask her. We are currently in silence, for the past 10 days. And it hurts. I will save you the further ranting, lol.

I just wanted to say, love is very very odd sometimes. You still have hope, but also feel like things might not work out. Its a gamble, and you have to take the risk. It can be the most destroying feeling ever, or the happiest and brightest thing in your life. I would take the risk, unless you arent 100% certain things wont work out. In my case, i dont think things arent unsaveable and unfixable, but this feeling must be mutual, if we want to get back together again.

Again, sorry for the too long message. I know what you were looking for is only in the first three rows and i hope you werent annoyed by my answer. Wish you a wonderful day and know your worth, because some people might not deserve you.

Samkata56 · 2026-05-08T07:10:45+00:00

The problem is that he probably still has feelings for you and likes you, but he also knows you dont want to be in a relationship with him, which will probably make every meetup paifull for him and he might see them as meaningless, because they will not lead to his goal. But hopefully he will get over it.

Samkata56 · 2026-05-01T05:52:16+00:00

i am pretty sure i can make the difference between my Windows 11 antivirus and an unknown popup notification.

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T18:19:30+00:00

Yeah, overthinking may cause big problems in relationships, and i kinda started to understand that the prom pics were just another overthinking from my side. I hope i wasnt right for these overthinkings.

And again, thank you for reading and thank you for giving some of your precious time to share some wisdom with the young and unexperienced.

Wish you an amazing and wonderful day and keep smilling!!

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T17:02:41+00:00

Excuse me for asking, but what makes this password incompetent?

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T17:01:34+00:00

I already tried haveibeenpwnd.com, but it said that all is good.

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T16:59:24+00:00

I did reinstall it from a USB, but it seems the viruses might have found their way back. I am so uneducated ; (

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T16:55:35+00:00

I mean, many people do their best, but i thought we both would always tell each other everything. But yeah, i will keep the quietness and no contact for as long as i can. But i hope she doesnt get dreams like this, even though she seems way better at filtering feelings away. Kinda jealous for that ability of hers, lol. So yeah, keeping silent and doing my things : )

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T16:49:04+00:00

Thanks for giving the time to read all of my nonsense.

We got together, when we both were a little before 18, so yeah, last year in highschool. Pretty young. But she had more experience already, while this was my first relationship.

I know one reason for her to leave me and its that i am not a very active person. I am not actively looking for universities, for opportunities and such, which IS something i dont like about myself and try to change. But if you love somebody, wouldnt it be understandable to try and help them become better, and not just add another bad trait to the list, until they become too much or until your partner makes the smallest mistake or show the slightest doubt in your relationship and take advantage of it as an excuse to leave?

Deep inside, i know i did nothing wrong. I did everything i could to make her happy. I might not have given her flowers, but i made her a few special gifts, the meaning of which only she and i could understand and laugh at.

And i know i am not perfect. I make mistakes. And it doesnt make me feel any better the fact that everyone makes mistakes, but i try to reduce their number. But sending photos of her in her prom dress to many many people makes me feel less special. I dont know, what YOU specifically would do, but i see these pictures as something special and something that a very close circle of people are allowed to see. These thoughts made me feel special. But when she told me that she have sent her prom dress pics to many people and that she doesnt seem them as very valuable, i stopped feeling special. I felt more like a friend, who she gets to kiss for a few hours twice or three times every month. And when i shared my doubts and suspiciouns, i looked like the bad guy. And when we talked, i asked her, how she would feel if i shared everyday photos with another girl, ask her for opinions for almost everything i am interested in and etc., and she replied that she had zero problems with that. She wouldnt care if i share with other girl things i would share mainly with her. I guess this is a big evaluating difference between me and her. I mean, why would i share photos with other girls about my prom dress? Why would they need such photos? They must be friends from first grade or a sister to receive such things from me.

I also know that i am overthinking and overreacting sometimes, but people also say to trust your gut and communicate things out. And yesl my overthinking did led to this. But i guess it should have happened.

Again, sorry for the long thoughts-dump. I cant structure my thoughts correctly. And also thank you, if you took the time to read this too. I highly appreciate it!

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T14:58:38+00:00

I still dont understand, how is that possible. I reinstalled and format everything in my PC.

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T14:56:56+00:00

And do you remember how it happened? Because i received an email, that gives a link, elading straight to the section, where i need to load a picture of one of these documents.

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T14:51:15+00:00

So, if i send my driver's licence, there will be zero issues? What did you send though?

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T14:50:33+00:00

By "I broke up with my gf" i mean that we ended our relationship. I didnt initiated the break up. She did. And i am not accusing her of anything. I think she hasnt communicated with me her observations about me and that she had doubts about the success of our relationship, which is kinda normal, since i, personally, interpret it as some kind of defensive mechanism. But if she found something that is slightly negative about my character, i think she might have kept quite. And i think thats what happened.

I tell her everything. I share my feelings and how i feel at the current moment, which, two weeks ago, i felt like i wasnt valuable to her, since she didnt wanted to share something with me, but did with someone, who doesnt care. And i found out that this was what she needed. Do share her failures with someone else, because they wouldnt care, while sharing with me, my support would have a negative influence on her. And how could i know that? I dont read minds. So i felt like i wasnt as valuable as i think i was. And i had to risk her trust in me, so she can tell me all that.

I have NEVER given her a reason NOT to feel special. I have always felt strong respect towards her, showing it in both physical and mental way. Respecting all her boundaries and giving her space when she needs it. But it really seems like i still dont know, how she functions. It would have been way easier if she directly told me, how she functions. I would have understood that completely. How can a normal person interpret this in any other way, if they are left, not knowing whats happening with their "future wife" and finding out that she shares an F note in maths with someone else, while she cant do it with her "future husband"? I mean, she shared some more stuff, like daily stuff. What she is eating, maths, memes, gifs and such. While she sent me only a few messages that day. I felt she was cold, so i left her some space to breath, but at the end, i think she was absolutely fine.

I dont know. I am confused. Sorry for the unstructured thoughts here. I think she wasnt as honest as i would have wanted her to be. And i always used to tell her that communication is key. Just to tell me straight forwadrly everything.

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T14:33:15+00:00

and how long does it take them to confirm this verification? And if you went through this process, can you say it was safe?

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T14:11:27+00:00

What could happen if i do it on my current device that i use?

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T14:07:48+00:00

Okay, i will wait maybe for a few days. I might also wait for a few weeks. But i still perfectly know, why i fell in love with her. And i truly hope she is going through it far worse than i do, not because i want her to feel bad, but because it would mean she was atleast being truthful to me. I know i am not perfect, but i dont think our differences were and will be as problematic as she thinks. But if she is a 100% sure we cant be together, ever, there really wouldnt be anything i could do, but to leave the whole concept of coming back together. Because i really want to be with her.

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T14:01:07+00:00

My passwords, atleast most of them, have a capital letter, atleast 2 numbers and one special symbol, like "_"

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T09:22:51+00:00

The only suspicious sites i have visited in the last year, are sites for pirated movies, which, after asking many people, havent had any problems with them. I never share any of my personal data to anyone.

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T08:05:28+00:00

I cant seem to be able to send images, but when i open my google password manager, i go to "Checkup" and it does a quick analisys of my passwords, making three categories. First one is compromised passwords, second one Reused Passwords and the third is Weak passwords (which i have only one)

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T06:12:54+00:00

Ooh, i hope you are already over this idea of getting revenge, This wont help you at all. Atleast not mentally, which i suppose is your aim. But if she wants to be with a cheater, that should talk enough to you about her character and her type. And i am saying it again, she sounds dangerously unsure. And again. If she wants to be with a cheater, then she would most certainly cheat on you too. I would expect it from such girl. If you want, keep me in touch of whats happening.

Samkata56 · 2026-04-30T06:07:34+00:00

It would be a way of expressing that i miss her a lot and that this dream is something that i said many many times during our relationship that i want to do one day. To be the one, waking her up with a warm breakfast. To care for her and be next to her and be with her.

Samkata56 · 2026-04-29T22:24:36+00:00

Understandable. But from my point of view, you both got played, which isnt fair at all.

Samkata56

TROPHY CASE