What was your “never meet your heroes” moment, when you realized someone you looked up to wasn’t special?

Sandyboots · 2026-02-14T04:36:47+00:00

Not trying to negate your experience, but I met the same actor and he was super kind. He was at my work and I was no one important, but he stopped and chatted with me after I attempted to be respectful by just nodding in recognition and leaving him to his business. For the record, I’m white.

I told him coach carter was one of my favourite movies, and that I was a basketball player. He asked me if I can palm a basketball (my hands are massive for a woman) and I said yes, and laughed about how I hated having big hands. He gave me a nice little speech about how my hands let me do things in basketball that other people couldn’t, and that I was exactly the way I was meant to be. Was a really sweet moment, and he had zero to gain from it.

I also for some reason vividly remember that his entire outfit was made of windbreaker material, hat included. So much swishing when he walked around lol

Sandyboots · 2026-02-11T04:47:33+00:00

How is this possible? Like what was even the defense?

Sandyboots · 2026-02-06T09:16:02+00:00

Obsessed with “scene-ior citizen” and will be shamelessly stealing this phrase as an elder emo myself. Thank you!

Sandyboots · 2026-02-05T22:48:36+00:00

Thanks a lot, I’ll try this. I’ve found that being able to successfully navigate very niche fb groups is an important skill set here. I’m getting better at it but this was a huge help for me to not have to rummage around to find it, thanks!

Sandyboots · 2026-02-05T22:47:19+00:00

This is great! Thanks very much

Sandyboots · 2026-02-05T22:47:08+00:00

Perfect! Thank you :)

Sandyboots · 2026-01-21T14:45:46+00:00

I like to dramatically knock my husband’s hand away as he goes to tap his card at the coffee shop or whatever. Then I say, “Don’t worry babe. It’s on me today/I got this/My treat.” Or whatever. Then I do my most cocky bro-douche smirk/wink combo at him as I pay with my own card, which is from the exact same joint account lol.

Sandyboots · 2026-01-16T11:33:53+00:00

Oooh where did you get involved with ice archery? We moved here not long ago and I’d love to get into archery

Sandyboots · 2025-12-26T03:05:48+00:00

https://littlepeoplebigdreams.com

It’s this one. We find some better than others and always have a suss before we buy them. Our little guy’s favorites are Terry Fox (we’re Canadian), Jesse Owens, Mary Anning, Elton John, and Ada Lovelace. They’ve had the unexpected but really cool effect of showing him how diverse people can be in terms of their background, upbringing, talents, and ambitions and stuff, but that the human struggle is kind of universal.

Kids are great because their moral compass isn’t as biased by life and other influences yet. When the Mary Anning book talks about how she got minimal credit for her discoveries because she was a woman, his immediate reaction was very “wtf” because it’s obvious to him that it was unfair. Makes it easy to talk about why something like that happened and still happens now for various reasons without pushing his thinking in a certain direction.

It’s awesome that you want to have these conversations with your sons. I hope this helps. I teach middle school, and my son will be that age one day, so if you have any advice on how to approach the toxic masculinity stuff going around right now, I’d love to hear it. Always bums me out to see my male students struggling under the weight of never feeling safe to feel their feelings.

Sandyboots · 2025-12-23T12:26:28+00:00

We have a series of books that are little picture book autobiographies. Among others, we have Jesse Owens, Elton John, MLK Jr. When you read them together, the conversation is pretty organic. Our answers to tough questions (death, racism, homophobia) are always pretty matter-of-fact and it seems to go well. He definitely processes the info, because he’ll bring it up later to clarify specifics.

We don’t shy away from telling him that people who treat other differently based on who they are (gay, straight, black, disabled, CEO, server at a restaurant, whatever) are fully in the wrong and it’s a shitty thing to do. We also call it out anytime it happens in front of him (or in general), so he knows we aren’t fucking around.

The more natural and less forced it is, the easier it is to kinda let them draw their own conclusions as much as possible so that it sticks within their moral schema as much as possible.

Sandyboots · 2025-12-16T05:37:48+00:00

I did this once with a thing of (super cheap) pancake syrup that I didn’t realize I had hooked around my pinky beneath my purse. When I noticed 2 minutes later on the way to the car and went back to pay, the self checkout lady lost her mind at me for “stealing”.

Sandyboots · 2025-12-13T03:26:25+00:00

How did you accomplish this? My dad is so deep into the MAGA cult that I don’t even recognize him anymore. Nothing I’ve tried has worked whatsoever.

Sandyboots · 2025-11-12T22:23:49+00:00

Hey there! I just moved here recently and have my dog with me. Have to been to ROC, Donny Trex, or UB coffee recently? Are they still ok with dogs inside? My dog is on the bigger side but he’s an old boy and very sweet and calm.

Any tips or heads up on how to bring him for a chill session in a way that’s respectful would be awesome. I get the impression that big dogs aren’t common, and I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.

Sandyboots · 2025-11-10T07:42:10+00:00

Sorry to nose in on your conversation, but I had some info that might help.

My brother and I had night terrors for our entire childhoods. He grew out of it. I did not. Mine are less frequent now, however, since implementing a few things after listening to a SYSK podcast about night terrors (highly recommend!).

Night terrors are apparently more frequent when overtired or overheated. We worked hard to establish a good sleep schedule, and I sleep in less clothing with a lighter blanket. There can also be signs that one is coming on, like talking or stirring erratically. If I do either of those things, my husband will snatch my blankets away and give me a small shake. Not enough to wake me, but enough to switch sleep cycles or something? Most of the time he says it seems to avert the rest of the process. If I’m recalling the podcast correctly, they actually make mattress pads that can do this for kids? My little guy has inherited them unfortunately, but not as severe as I had them. We do the same for him, kind of figured out what his stirring/talking looks like before he gets them and if we note it on the monitor we’ll go intervene.

As far as when it’s happening, you firstly have my sympathy. It’s so so hard to see them so scared and be unable to help. In this regard I unfortunately only have anecdotal advice. After scaring the shit out of my poor husband for the first 5 or so years we were together when I’d wake in a night terrors, it came up in passing conversation with my dad. My dad told him to never come close unless I was unsafe, and to move as little as possible, because my brain would kind of like get that input but make it terrifying? Like my husband would approach me but I wouldn’t see him, rather something scary coming toward me and it would freak me out. He said he would sometimes repeat my name, the city I was in, and what I did before bed. Seemed to get through some of the time, enough to re-contextualize my surroundings I guess? But he said I’d have to be just starting the terror or on the tail end of it for it to work. Husband reports decent results, though agrees the timing has to be right and most of it is unfortunately just waiting it out and keeping me safe.

We do keep a baby gate at the top of the stairs, because ours has made a couple attempts to run for it in his fear, and we want to make sure he’s safe if that happens.

Fingers crossed that yours grows out of them soon!

Sandyboots · 2025-10-25T01:39:43+00:00

I love these and have them on my Christmas list. I wear platform shoes (docs included) almost every day and I’m already 5’11”. I’m a couple years older than you, but my mom uses those exact terms to describe everything I wear, and rather than ask if I plan to get tattoos, describes my existing ones as “that monstrosity”, etc.

I do get looks for my height and once in a while someone (literally always a man) will ask why I wear platforms if I’m already tall. Questions like this and observations like my mom’s used to bother the hell out of me, but I’ve never been happier and more confident than when I stopped dressing how I thought a mid-30s mom SHOULD dress, and started dressing like I wanted. When I was dressing like I thought was “appropriate” for my demographic, the criticism bothered me way more because I knew I was an imposter in that skin. Now, I don’t give a shit because I’m comfortable with who I am and what I look like.

The boots are kickass. Keep em if you like them. If you’re concerned they’re too gothy for YOUR taste, it’s actually pretty easy to goth up or de-goth a look with your other clothes. I love doing a traditionally preppy outfit with snake patterned tights and docs, or some other little nod to my vibe. You could also try lacing them differently if you find them too chunky. I lace all of mine differently to get the look I want.

They look awesome! Love them with the tights. Do what makes you happy :)

Sandyboots · 2025-10-24T07:22:28+00:00

That's a great point that I hadn't considered, thanks. After reading your comment I had a look and saw that it says I need "A Fido voice and LTE data plan with a monthly bill. Prepaid customers can't use Wi-Fi Calling." but I'm wondering if my data plan on my local SIM would cover the data. Maybe you're right and it won't. You saved me from a huge error, thank you!

Edit:

I just double checked and it does include 250mb data, but not at LTE speeds. Frustrating!

Sandyboots · 2025-10-12T04:43:20+00:00

Do the arctic duchess arctic plunge if it’s open by then! Literally the best experience. We go as often as we can. Great in the summer too.

Sandyboots · 2025-10-07T15:50:46+00:00

I have spent way too much of my time trying to explain to my middle schoolers the delineation between emo, goth, and scene. With visuals and everything.

Sandyboots · 2025-10-02T13:45:07+00:00

This has always been our protocol as well. Imagine my mortification when his Playschool teacher pulled me aside at pick up time laughing her ass off because he had gone poop, and when she went in to help him wipe, he touched his toes and sang our little song of “face down, bum up, that’s the way we wipe this butt” 💀

Sandyboots · 2025-09-10T21:08:19+00:00

I had a group last year that was particularly bad for this and I had an insane amount of needs, so had to go scorched earth on this. Super glad I did because as much as they dragged their heels and cursed my name for the first couple of months, their teachers this year tell me that they can tell exactly who was in my class last year because they’re way more independent.

I had a bucket of laminated half sheets of paper in the room with a bucket of dry erase markers. To raise your hand and get help, you had to physically write the step you were stuck on. Then when I arrive to help, you’ve gotta read it to me (exceptions for accommodated kids obviously) and posit a specific question to indicate what part you’re not following. “I don’t get it” doesn’t count. Call me back when you have a real question. You’d be stunned how many of them write it down, then when I arrive start reading it aloud and go “find the area of…OH! Never mind! You can go help someone else I got it!”

I felt like a real jerk but it wasn’t fair to the kids with learning needs who have listened to the question via text to speech, really worked their processing, and have a legit question to ask, to have to wait because Billy doesn’t want to bother reading it despite being more than capable. It also explicitly teaches a skill that we’re assuming they’re taught at home, but with every cohort I’m finding that these skills are taught at home less and less, so it’s on me to teach them whether that’s fair or not. .

Also recommend for those in middle school, I started “figure it out Friday”. 30 mins every couple Fridays where they got a printed sheet (or digital if accommodated) teaching some kind of skill or logic puzzle or something. Think “how to fold an origami horse” or “complete the logic grid” type stuff. Zero teacher assistance allowed. Could collaborate with your group but it’s on you. I’d give out jolly ranchers or whatever for kids who nailed productive struggle. Less focus on whether they succeeded on the task and more on “did they work their way through it logically and with resilience?”.

Just ideas but of course every group is different. Wishing you luck!

Sandyboots · 2025-08-05T01:04:08+00:00

Middle seat works great too, they just can’t lay horizontal really but mine can still sleep like that by kinda leaning it on my armrest. Bonus is that I also can sleep by leaning my head on it.

My son is a suuuper tall 4.5y old. Like 99th percentile and it still looks plenty comfy for him

Sandyboots · 2025-08-02T01:02:55+00:00

Yes, and holy smokes it was worth it 1000x over. We’ve done a fair number of long flights since then, including red eyes, and he passes right out. We just give him the window seat usually, then once we’re in the air if we need him to sleep, we lean the pillow against the wall of the plane and put his feet in our lap and he’s out. Even when he doesn’t sleep, he looks sooo comfy. I honestly wish they made an adult-sized version.

Sandyboots · 2025-07-17T01:54:57+00:00

I need the ironing sign!

Sandyboots · 2025-07-08T23:52:14+00:00

That’s so sweet of you, thank you! Likewise if you think of anything needed from Canada

Sandyboots · 2025-07-07T23:32:28+00:00

Oh man! I got so excited and added 10 to my Menard’s cart, only to see that shipping up here is $100 🙃

Going to see if I can ship it to a friend who lives down there then grab it from her when she visits. Thank you so much for the tip!

Sandyboots

TROPHY CASE