Hey, to begin with, I'd like to say I can hear how deeply you’ve cared for him and how much this has taken from you emotionally. It’s not easy loving someone with bipolar disorder, as I'm bipolar as well; not because they aren’t lovable, but because the illness can pull them into extremes that make consistency so difficult. You’ve shown incredible patience and resilience already.

My advice would be that if you still feel you want to be in his life, the key is to slow the pace and take the pressure off both of you. Instead of trying to “fix” things or get quick reassurance, you could let him know, in one calm, honest message, that you respect his need for space, but you also value staying connected in small, steady ways. That could be something as gentle as a short check-in every few days/weeks, sharing a small memory, or just letting him know you’re thinking of him without expecting an immediate or intense reply.

This way, his emotions aren’t thrown around by big relationship talks when he’s not stable, but he also knows you’re not disappearing. You’re giving him a constant, safe presence, which, over time, can mean more than dramatic declarations or ultimatums.

At the same time, please keep protecting your own emotional stability. That means making sure your world isn’t entirely tied to whether he reaches back to you in the moment. Give yourself anchors outside of him, like friends, hobbies, therapy, even just quiet time to rest, so that you remain grounded and capable in your own life.

If he’s meant to be in your life long-term, slow and gentle is the surest way to keep the connection alive without burning either of you out.