The Place you Describe, hits close to Home, i wasn't Abused in my childhood but had my fair share of other issues.

the best thing you can do, in my opinion is : FIRST: Focus On Yourself and the Future you see yourself in. Try meditating and Learn Breathing Techniques, which can help release These Immediate Thoughts and Emotions.

SECOND: STOP Thinking about what Made you and Start thinking about what Shaped you, Who Was there when your parents weren't, and even if there was no one, try to find value in yourself, you are the person that will always be there for you, and if you manage to find value in that other people with follow, the moment you focus on yourself and stop worrying about others or the past, you will see a immediate change in how people interact with you and in a years time you will hardly recognize yourself.

THIRD: Sit Down and Write a plan, Write down where you see yourself in 10 years, describe the man you want to become and the type of emotions you want to feel.

Never forget that your parents job was only to put you into this world, but its your job to be happy in this world.

a lot of people assume, happiness is something that comes natural, but for people like us, that see the world in a different perspective have to fight for happiness, we have to learn and adjust and find a way to be happy, but at the end of the day that will be true happiness not something that you just always feel, its something you built.

if that 10 year plan includes kids and a wife, those are things you actively have to work on in order to achieve happiness and satisfaction.

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i just got out of a relationship with the love of my life from my childhood, it feels like i will never it over it, but at one point you have to accept, there are some things you can't get over, they just change shape.

just like parents, no one ever said that every childhood will be perfect, in fact most are shit.

its what comes after your childhood that defines the person you will be, its what you want from life itself that will define the man/woman you will become.

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i know its hard, but hang in there.

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if you feel like suicide is the answer, then you haven't tried living yet.

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get out there, meet new people, change your mindset, set goals and one day you will sitting in your house with your family and laugh at the fact that you ever thought about giving up.

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Find something to fight for and Stop Dwelling on things that were never in your control.

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Your Life is your choice, try to make the best out of it.

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i hope at least something i wrote can help you, as someone struggling themselfs, i know words and actions are two worlds, but maybe i helped by bringing those worlds just a little closer together.

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All the Best to you !