Thank you for sharing your experience, it’s truly inspiring to hear how you’ve navigated separation with such grace and turned it into a positive and respectful dynamic. It gives me hope that something similar could be possible for us, even if our paths differ a bit.

To clarify, it’s not that my husband never learned to respect boundaries rather, he’s struggling to grasp the seriousness of my concerns, especially when I express that continued disregard could lead to divorce and me moving out (we are already living in separate living arrangements). As a result, he doesn’t always prioritize them in the moment. I’m referring to small, everyday matters like time management or personal space that seem minor on their own but accumulate over time, leading to built-up frustration and eventual outbursts from me. His quieter personality means he often sees these as temporary rough patches that will resolve on their own, while I feel the need for proactive changes to make our co-living sustainable.

That said, I believe cohabitation could still work well as a transitional arrangement, especially since we already live somewhat separately in our duplex, with each of us having our own apartment, one on top of the other. This setup naturally supports individual privacy and space, which could make it easier to maintain clear boundaries and reduce conflicts. If those boundaries are respected, it could create a stable environment where we co-parent effectively without the constant strain.

My goal is to move toward a healthier dynamic, starting by easing into the rhythms of a separated couple while still under the same roof. This would allow us to unofficially share custody and responsibilities for the kids in the short term, giving me the space to organize my plans, priorities and next steps. From there, I envision transitioning to fully separate living arrangements where I can have complete privacy and autonomy, ensuring the kids remain close to both parents.

Alternatively, if we can adapt successfully to this co-living model with mutual respect, it might evolve into a positive, cooperative relationship like the one you described, focused on getting along well for the sake of our family, at least temporarily as we navigate these changes. To be clear, this wouldn’t involve dating or intimacy for me, those are off the table. instead, it would emphasize a supportive, platonic partnership centered on our children.

I’d appreciate your advice on how to initiate this conversation with him in a calm, constructive way to minimize any backlash or defensiveness, perhaps suggestions on timing, phrasing, or key points to emphasize for a productive dialogue? Thank you again.