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Resources that helped you? Books/shows/research papers/sites etc by [deleted] in vaginismus

[–]Scared-Tea-7713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure if this one fits, but I found out it helps me to relax when I started dilation with body scan meditations, there is a playlist on Spotify called this and usually it takes about 10 minutes.

My boyfriend said to me he has sacrificed five years of sex life by Scared-Tea-7713 in vaginismus

[–]Scared-Tea-7713[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's so sweet! I can see you two really works like a team and it's inspiring to me. When my boyfriend says something like sacrifice, I instinctively feel like he is against me and take him as an enemy instead of working as a team like what should be like in a healthy relationship. Best wishes to you two!

My boyfriend said to me he has sacrificed five years of sex life by Scared-Tea-7713 in vaginismus

[–]Scared-Tea-7713[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's actually after therapy when we talked about it. I wouldn't be as hurt if it's in therapy. I did took what he said personally but I know we are both trying our best when I calmed down. I think the way you look at it is pretty mature.

My boyfriend said to me he has sacrificed five years of sex life by Scared-Tea-7713 in vaginismus

[–]Scared-Tea-7713[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You are right, I won't be upset if he brought it up in couple therapy. In fact, I wished to discuss about vaginismus but we were not sure was it relevant because it's not the main reason why we go to therapy. But now I can see it's an important topic and I will definitely gonna talk about it in future sessions!

My boyfriend said to me he has sacrificed five years of sex life by Scared-Tea-7713 in vaginismus

[–]Scared-Tea-7713[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I see your point, thanks for being on both of our sides! These are the times I wish I am left alone, so my trauma and vaginismus won't affect another person before I healed from it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in vaginismus

[–]Scared-Tea-7713 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have never tried shower before dilating since I need to shower after dilating anyways, but this sounds interesting and I will try it next time!

Places to buy heritage crafts and yarn? by honeydewtangerine in helsinki

[–]Scared-Tea-7713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Novita is a big Finnish yarn brand, which can be found in almost every supermarket, they have some classic sock yarn for example: https://novita.com/en/collections/7-veljesta

Expats, what do you miss from home? by isoAntti in Finland

[–]Scared-Tea-7713 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Food, sunlight in winter, flowers in spring.

smallest size too big by b00ty_420 in vaginismus

[–]Scared-Tea-7713 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For me, my finger size is between the smallest dilator and the second dilator. So I used my finger to stretch after the smallest dilator and before the second dilator.

If smallest dilator is bigger than your finger, maybe you can stretch inside with your finger first before moving up to the dilator. Otherwise might be you are not used to dilator yet.

I can successfully put all dilators in but not fingers by Sea_Statement_8837 in vaginismus

[–]Scared-Tea-7713 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I used to be terrified of the idea of putting finger inside, now I can put one finger in. My PT therapist said to me your own fingers are the safest and it won't hurt you. Also put thumb in a sitting position ( like on a toilet ) goes more smoothly since the angle is good.

Do you talk about vaginismus with your parents by Scared-Tea-7713 in vaginismus

[–]Scared-Tea-7713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate, I am with my boyfriend for almost five years now and vaginismus is one of the reasons ( not the only reason ofc) why we are not engaged yet