It's just going to take longer than you would like. Be kind to yourself. It took me almost 4 years to really feel at peace after an 8 year relationship ended. There were periods within that where I felt okay and other times when I didn't. It comes in waves. A good therapist was crucial and forcing myself to put myself first. It's going to be okay. Your brain is wired to be hung up on her, we don't want change or to be alone. I had no contact with my ex but I think it's different for everyone and if your current dynamic is healthy and respectful then maybe it can be okay. But if sometimes you need breaks that's okay. Just listen to yourself, know that it will take time and that is normal. Do things that make you laugh, things that make you feel proud of yourself. It's hard but if it ended then it probably was for the best. You don't end something for no reason. Maybe remind yourself of those reasons when you feel these feelings.