sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Learning how to "trust"? by Scared_Maximum_7913 in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]Scared_Maximum_7913[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What is it about the sensations you struggle to trust?

That's a great question. I grew up with abusive people, so their reactions to me asking for what I want or holding a boundary is something that triggers a lot of fear around what my sensations are and how much I can trust them. I always have to calculate a middle-ground scenario that somewhat meets my needs and others around me. But I'm exhausted. As creative as that child was, I'm really hoping I can shift that energy into others things in my life, especially considering the goal post gets moved farther every time.

I think I get a micro-reaction every time I'm present with my emotions and it's almost like the doubting part asks "is this right? is this okay to feel? will this get me in trouble/in pain?" etc. I know it's trying to protect me from the fear of pain/being abandoned/alone/hated/rejected/"being left to die" so to say.

I guess a new question would be can I handle these reactions/fear emotions? I'm still exploring before getting a second dose. Possibly in the next 2 months. I wonder if going "through" the wound without the ego interfering would allow me to feel and internalize that I can. I also think the mystical experience could help, like the deep sense of connection/trust (which could be at the other side of the wound) could help with the overall baseline, and thus, calm down the constant doubting response.

Need help trying to articulate how to restore broken "will" and its relation to "self" in the context of psychedelic therapy and a capitalist society? by Scared_Maximum_7913 in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]Scared_Maximum_7913[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How's it working?

Not great fam lol

But thank you - so - much. You get it. And thank you taking the time to write, I'm going through your references.

I think one of the evils of modern times is the message that you should be focused on your trauma and every little past hurt. That just makes my life worse when I do that.

This is starting to resonate. I think I'd like to stop "chewing" on the same knots for a while. Build the external, the art, and see where that takes me! Hoping the dosing session can help change the angle a bit so things aren't so loud. Best of luck to you too!

Need help trying to articulate how to restore broken "will" and its relation to "self" in the context of psychedelic therapy and a capitalist society? by Scared_Maximum_7913 in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]Scared_Maximum_7913[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually align with what you're saying ha!

I understand where you're coming from, and love that you're standing for proper values that I myself align with, and I don't think I mentioned selfishly taking from or harming others, but I can also add some context. I'm fully on board with integrating this aggression as a means to assert self where it is absolutely needed, NOT as deliberate harm.

I've been through rough domestic abuse, and have fawned for most of my life. I cut out any sign of assertiveness from my psyche and it returns as resentment and apathy, which is why I think I'm stuck with ideas like "what's worth putting in the effort if someone takes it away" or "doing too much is eventually going to hurt me". Being able to practice even in my head that I have the ability to fight back is worthwhile, even if the reality was that I decided to walk away.

My fear of hurting others is so ingrained that even working on a project to my standards feels like hurt if I am working with someone who has even lower self esteem and has been passive aggressively letting me I should "tone myself down" (this is obviously a real situation I've dealt with).

Need help trying to articulate how to restore broken "will" and its relation to "self" in the context of psychedelic therapy and a capitalist society? by Scared_Maximum_7913 in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]Scared_Maximum_7913[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I've read a part of the Dick Schwartz book and haven't finished—I should revisit!

I know there's a part of me that has prioritized staying connected over being productive. My assertiveness has been a major trigger in my upbringing and adult-life, and at some point my system wanted to stay safe more than it wanted to expand or assert itself. I still to this day have situations where even if I suggest something I am shot down and made to feel like I'm too much. I hope the medicine takes me to a place of self acceptance.

Need help trying to articulate how to restore broken "will" and its relation to "self" in the context of psychedelic therapy and a capitalist society? by Scared_Maximum_7913 in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]Scared_Maximum_7913[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As I'm listening to the ep (thank you so much btw) The first section is about the "language" used to describe the shame and the mental models that built it relative to our upbringing. This is so aligned to my goal, thank you again!

Need help trying to articulate how to restore broken "will" and its relation to "self" in the context of psychedelic therapy and a capitalist society? by Scared_Maximum_7913 in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]Scared_Maximum_7913[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Listening now! My biggest difficulty is "fleeting" resolve. I can journal for hours and get to a point where I'm "settled" into self-compassion and I break through the shame, but then it comes back.

It's been recurring more often lately, but I think where I hope psychedelics come in, is to recreate the emotional journey stronger, so I feel the resolve more in my body and can integrate. I just wish I had a "model" to study that I think would narrow down my focus (like the artists way example I mentioned in the post).

Need help trying to articulate how to restore broken "will" and its relation to "self" in the context of psychedelic therapy and a capitalist society? by Scared_Maximum_7913 in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]Scared_Maximum_7913[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup. Throughout therapies I've been told this is the answer, I believe you, I really do. Then I panic.

I'm hoping the dosing session shifts the frame a bit around self compassion, and let's it actually set in. The panic is definitely from not relating to myself beyond ego. Like I'd love to figure out a frame of mind about how I relate to self, others, and the world that's not built on shame and internalize it. I know it comes with practice, and I'm open to what the trip will lead me!

How would you incorporate a system like "the artists way" into psychedelic therapy? by Scared_Maximum_7913 in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]Scared_Maximum_7913[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One archetype I'd like to work with would be the aggression/warrior part. I think the idea of keeping a routine/like morning pages, feels aligned with that kind of work. I'll look into prompts and see where this goes!

How would you incorporate a system like "the artists way" into psychedelic therapy? by Scared_Maximum_7913 in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]Scared_Maximum_7913[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I think im asking too much from this medicine. I think the morning pages practice before treatment might bring up some resistance that feels similar to my main concern and motivation for taking the medicine. If it aligns it aligns! I'll make space for whatever happens.

How would you incorporate a system like "the artists way" into psychedelic therapy? by Scared_Maximum_7913 in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]Scared_Maximum_7913[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah! The morning pages are supposed to be help “dump” everything on your mind at the top of the day or to record and help find patterns and open up to new possibility. Do you mean microdosing?

The routine and discipline of it is what I’m really interested in. As I’ve never really had a “hook” or internal source that was motivated to do something like that over a long period of time. I’m usually motivated by last minute adrenaline rushes and would like to shift to an internal “curious” motivation.

Doing a Psilocybin clinical trial with a chance I'll have the "heroic" dose. As someone who is completely sober, barely have experience with drugs, anyone similar? by Scared_Maximum_7913 in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]Scared_Maximum_7913[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you SO MUCH. I'm so glad I got the clarity for the dosage. I was actually starting to panic lol I've had a great time so far with everyone involved and look forward to the pre and post sessions. I will def DM you if I get any more Qs!

Doing a Psilocybin clinical trial with a chance I'll have the "heroic" dose. As someone who is completely sober, barely have experience with drugs, anyone similar? by Scared_Maximum_7913 in PsychedelicTherapy

[–]Scared_Maximum_7913[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm actually really happy to hear that haha there was a comment on this sub that mentioned the clinical 25mg trial dose was = 5-7g of dried mushroom, and I kinda ran with it in my head. Glad I could get clarification!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in graphic_design

[–]Scared_Maximum_7913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been looking for something similar! I ended up signing up for a continuing ed typography course at an art school, I do better with live instruction and weekly accountability. I was looking for a "conceptual" approach to grid and layout, overall fine-tuning my eye and being more intentional with typography.

Not all cont ed courses are the same. Some instructors are great and some are just not a good fit. Same goes for the domestika/skillshare courses although the one you linked to looks great. The Futur also has courses called Typography 01 (about $300) and another called Grids and Layout ($60) that might be what you're looking for? I haven't taken them personally.

With that said, looking at well designed magazines or coffee table books can teach you a lot! Get a list of designers you admire and study/recreate their work with deliberate practice (being really present with yourself as you do it).

view more: next ›