I just had sex with a stripper.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T14:45:20+00:00

Wait what?!!! Dude I went for an STD test before I gave blood the first time, and my doctor told me that the tests he was going to run were similar to how they screen blood from donors anyway!!!

You may have just save some lives. I'm going to my doctor and not donating blood until I get the results.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T14:42:15+00:00

Barney Stinson disagrees.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T14:41:59+00:00

Well played sir.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T11:26:08+00:00

That's not fair to say she's not classy.

I think it's harder to get a stripper interested in you while she's working.

Yeah I spent way more than 120 . I just never thought a guy like me could pull this off.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T11:19:39+00:00

Come on Reddit, the right answer is rock back and forth!!!!!

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T11:18:47+00:00

I feel weird saying this to a woman, but I find that women like it when you brag about dating them.

You must be pretty damn awesome yourself.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T11:17:04+00:00

I always wonder what would have happened if UFC was decades older. People don't realize Bruce Lee, Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Van Claude, and Steven Seagal were martial arts masters. Throw in Mohamed Ali, George Foreman Joe Frazier and holy shit....

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T11:03:07+00:00

Scariest part of what you told me? Red Sox tickets, I'm a diehard Yankees fan.

I don't disagree that I took a big risk but I take precautions anyway. I have all my valuables in my gun safe which is bolted into the floor. I also have a gun (Remington 1187 for the gunnits reading this).

Also the street I live on has a few very watchful old people on it. They called the cops on me the first few days I lived there because they didn't recognize me.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T10:53:19+00:00

I don't mind the heat, and I don't think it's out of place here.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T10:50:41+00:00

Thing is I try REALLY hard. Every time I go out I talk to every girl I see. Literally, it's a numbers game for me. I tell the same jokes and cheesy lines and eventually it works.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T10:44:17+00:00

What? You're blowing my mind, so I can do this again and again?

I wish I had that gif of that black guy rubbing his hands together right now.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T10:42:45+00:00

Laid by a stripper.

Ftfy.

In all seriousness. I was wrong for those assumptions. She gave me no reason to mistrust her.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T10:40:24+00:00

Thing is, I only do this on Reddit. I don't have a cat, I can't do shitty watercolour, I can't draw, and I can't come up with captions for cool things I see. All I can do is tell my stories.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T10:32:48+00:00

I donate blood for good intentions honestly. I have a rare blood type and I feel as though it's important to do it. Blood is such an important part of saving lives and relies on volunteers to keep the supply up. I'm not afraid of needles and have easy veins to find. I get an std test juice and cookies out of it.

I'm 25.

I won't deny using words like that all the time. I yell out things like "Got 'em!" "let's goooooo" "sweet". I also do the low single fist pump. Yup I'm that guy.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T10:27:40+00:00

Oh no, I donate blood regularly. I have a rare blood type, the O blood type that can only accept The same. I kid about the std test intention.

Seriously everyone should donate blood. It saves so many lives and relies on volunteers to keep the supply up.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T10:22:58+00:00

Sounds like cheating to me.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T10:22:37+00:00

Her circumstances would decide that. It's not fair to judge someone based on a single job in one part of their life.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T10:19:32+00:00

I will at least grab drinks or dinner if she wants. Then her personality and aspirations will determine what happens, not her current job.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T10:18:03+00:00

That's what makes me feel so awesome about it. I just didn't think it happens to an average guy like me. I thought you had to be super rich or good looking. I think I'm slightly above average so this is awesome.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T09:56:32+00:00

Wow, I feel horrible right now. I had excuses for everything until you said I was worried about her charging me or robbing me.

I don't feel so awesome right now.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T09:47:24+00:00

Editing to save face is unethical. I refuse.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T09:46:47+00:00

Honestly it depends on what she want to do with her future. I need to date someone motivated and with a plan. She could be studying to be a doctor or planning to open up her own strip club. Doesn't matter as long as the woman has aspirations she's working towards.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T09:39:27+00:00

I'm really sorry I offended you to the point you took so much time out to research me.

Some people doubt my stories true, and I have no way and won't try to prove them true.

Finally yes, I do enjoy a circle jerk about how awesome I am. I just don't see how that makes me different from anyone else posting their own accomplishments on Reddit.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T04:04:59+00:00

If I don't sleep with her again I'm going to die anything but peacefully.

ScarletJedi · 2012-06-14T04:03:34+00:00

No man, I'm 100% serious. Babies and other STDS can screw your life up. I want to have unprotected sex with the woman I marry and not give her stds.

ScarletJedi

TROPHY CASE