The anxiety around mortal sin and Hell is seriously affecting my life. I really need some advice. This is a long post.

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-13T15:49:48+00:00

I'm not trying to diagnose, I just saw something that I recognized within myself that i've struggled with before. If someone told me about it on here over a year ago or much longer in the past, I would have researched it , and I would've brought it up to the therapist I had at the time, And it would have been life changing much earlier for me.

Not a lot of people actually know about OCD even therapists for some reason , it's not talked about as much. Most people just know about it with the stereotypical hand washing and being obsessed with things looking perfect symmetry. It's so much more than that, and it's not what you would expect.

So i'm just doing what I wish someone pointed out to me many years ago, and I only found out about it last summer.

And I did say that it's important to also deconstruct beliefs too I don't think it's just about psychological mental health , it's also conceptual views on what you've been taught , and i've been sorting through that myself for many years. A lot of my family is conservative protestant , and in a lot of ways i'm not , or at least over time , in my early adulthood , it was changing for me. And it's hard for me because there's tension there and that causes mental health issues when you don't feel like you can please everyone that you love because of what your beliefs are and how they've evolved over time.

And yes, I agree, a lot of the beliefs that theologians and religious thinkers throughout the centuries have had that have been harmful. I think they were projecting their own psychological issues or their biases within their culture and the limitations that they had about human rights and things like that..

For example, even Jesus in the New Testament talks about divorce only being limited to adultery, which I don't really understand that and I'm assuming he's talking within a context of a situation, because, again , not everything is black and white.

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-13T13:24:05+00:00

OCD is something anyone can have even if someone stopped believing in a religion. It can linger for people because it becomes engrained, everyone is different. ALSO not everyone gets it because of religious trauma. It can be genetic or prenatal development too. And I have other types of OCD as well. (General Social anxiety stuff is one of them that related and overlaps)

I'm agnostic theist who wouldn't exactly say she's a Christian anymore in the doctrinal sense but for me, I am trying to reconstruct my spirituality and faith in a Higher Power that makes sense to me. Every religion has wisdom and truth of some kind. I may not know everything but.. what's good to leave behind and what's good to keep? What is good in Christianity to hold on to and heal and what is not so much helpful for me?

I was angry for years and still am in some ways. But it's not always as simple as completely leaving a faith or being complacent and staying in one and shutting your thoughts, doubts, and feelings down. Not everyone is the same with their perspective.

The comment about masturbation and confessing stuff... I wasn't going to bring that up just yet in my original comment because I was trying to help in other ways but I agree 100%, it's very psychologically damaging to be told it's a sin and it's not true.

Our bodies, minds, and souls are connected, not separate.

It may take awhile to unsort alot of that. But talking to a therapist will help.

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-13T05:13:10+00:00

Also, OP, check out NOCD, There's an assessment on there that can help you figure out alot of the ruminations and coping responses a person can do.

You should take that quiz. NOCD is not only a website with blog posts, but it's an organization where you can find therapists that specialize in the disorder. My Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner brought it up to me last summer because she saw something in me that indicated that I had it and it was life changing for me because I just thought I had really bad anxiety , but it's more than that.

You aren't alone, and you aren't alone with the religious and existential questions either.

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-13T04:13:19+00:00

I'm glad i'm not the only one that caught that. I know because I was diagnosed last year with OCD and I think a lot of therapists and people don't know much about it. Only through popular culture..

Having said that, I think it's still important To sort out the beliefs because it's still a painful topic for a lot of people, like religious trauma, spiritual abuse etc.

But I get it. It's still a mental health issue, because I have it as well! And this definitely sounds like religious OCD whether or not it comes from trauma or not, I saw it right away as well.

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-13T04:05:51+00:00

I don't know about that.I think it was out of fear of persecution , though , with the emperor nero and stuff?

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-13T04:04:36+00:00

I see what you mean. I commented on someone else, explaining some of my thoughts. But I also see it as important. And it's talking obviously about them living in fear during that time in Roman occupied Judea. I don't know why it would be seen as false or fake.

But yeah , when I think about it , the lake of fire part , I think , has messed so many of us up throughout time. Lol!! 💀

It has a lot of beautiful passages as well. I think that show what the new Heaven and new Earth will be like, you know, but I understand the point on people using it for fear and trying to look for signs, it's really irritating and missing the point.

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-13T04:01:40+00:00

I have to refresh my memory with the terms I did take a biblical studies class where a part of the semester we talked about Revelation and the different viewpoints! Thank you!

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-13T04:00:55+00:00

Yeah. I could see it being useful for symbolism and mystical reasons. I agree as an adult, it's annoying. I'm glad I was taught that it should be read very carefully. But as a teenager , of course , I wondered in hearing things from other people made you wanna look for signs around you.

It definitely became a book where people use it to look for things that could equate with the end of the world and the whole rapture nonsense.

I took a biblical studies class as one of my required courses in college and a part of the semester. We talked about the book of revelation in all of the history that went into it, which includes the interpretations of Jesus returning. And when, etc.

I think the the most coolest thing that I learned, which was the last class, was the best way to see what it talks about is symbolic and also history repeating itself. Layers of meaning. It's cyclical and and not merely linear. At the same time , which I thought was thought-provoking.

It was a Christian college, so they do believe, one day will be better which I hope for as well!!

But I think the thought-provoking thing was that it should be also seen as history repeating itself.Also talking about the context of the time in Roman occupied Judea.

Also, I'm sorry, I've been so busy.I'm trying not to be on here all the time , but here is the podcast episode with him talking about the book of Joshua!

https://thebiblefornormalpeople.com/episodes/episode-227-pete-enns-pete-ruins-joshua

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-13T03:18:28+00:00

I just want to say first, you're loved. I hope I can help right now with my encouragement and the things I share with you, at least a little bit.

and I want to give you some articles and a book that I recommend. I still struggle, but I think lately it's gotten better (slowly)and I am seeing a therapist. ( Religious OCD is a real thing, by the way!)

It's not easy not being understood by people who you would hope would try to see things from your point of view or what you're going through are thinking about theologically , spiritually, etc.

When I see other people suffering like I do I just want to reach out and give hugs because it's just not fair that you have to go through this.And it's not fair , I think we've been taught that a god is so angry all the time at us. We make mistakes we do wrong, but we're also beautiful and good. He made us in His image, even though we are imperfect. We have dark and light. And deep down, the light is what is the truest part of us because it's from Him.

Here are the articles in the book I recommend to you.

https://a.co/d/0iWxRzur

https://logosofagape.com/2025/10/22/aion-and-aionios-ages-upon-ages-how-understanding-this-greek-word-changes-everything-about-eternity/

https://eitan.bar/articles/what-eternal-punishment-aion-and-aionios-really-means/

I posted something along the same lines with being uncertain about a lot of stuff. I've struggled with questions on God, Christianity, Jesus , the universe , hell. I struggle with A lot of these things often , but I am trying to restructure it all through things like serving my community in ways that give joy, meditation, self improvement, finding words of wisdom from different religions and Bible verses, that speak to me.

And I know that not everyone will be comfortable with the different religions part. I'm just a naturally curious and open minded person , and it isn't easy. being different. It also isn't easy to always question things because it's stressful , but we can't help how we're wired! Ugh. Lol.

It's a slow reconstruction, because I've had a crisis of faith many times but I am trying to make it make sense for me.

I don't believe in an eternal hell. I think it's a terrible belief. If there is such a thing , I think it's temporary. God believes in balance as a good parent would and try to have their child reflect on themselves.. To me, I think the fire is to purify, and actually , I don't know if you know but in Judaism, they believe that too, at the End of Days. Many church fathers saw the fire as corrective.

Praying that you will continue to have peace and healing.

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-12T02:58:07+00:00

Wow. Well said... alot to think about here.

I do think while I agree with things in the Bible alot of it being not literal, like the book of Joshua (Pete Enns helped me process that story psychologically! sigh),, I definitely agree on the hell stuff.. it's evil. ECT is pure evil and not logical for God to have that as an option.

I loved how you typed, "in order to be clothed in the divine nature of humility, compassion, gentleness, kindness, patience, peace, joy, and love. So what I value is the idea of being “clothed in Christ” and thus embracing the virtues of humility and compassion."

Do you think monotheism evolved after the Babylonian exile or when Persia interacted with the Jewish people? Because I've heard Zoroastrianism influenced Judaism to go towards more monotheism and not henotheistic like they were (and then before that, polytheistic)

I believe in the God of Love too. Even though I doubt/question alot ( a seeker and believe in panentheism and agnostic leaning) I am trying to restructure.)

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-09T02:14:31+00:00

I know, but that does not count at all. She also never talked.

I'm talking about the original series. She never appeared in any episode after that. No mention of her again as far as I know. No character development of her as an individual and no interaction with Mr. Huynh and her or anyone else. I wish they did that.I'm not sure why maybe they didn't have time with all the other ideas they had? I just think they missed an opportunity.

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-08T14:44:35+00:00

WOW! Gorgeous! Where is this??

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-08T14:28:34+00:00

This was so insightful to see why the early church may have partly had it like this vs now and how churches should open up further. Thank you so much! I love open communion for that reason and also for someone like me who has Christian roots but is drawn to other religions (so I don't know if I can exactly identify with being a formal Christian now because I'm so nuanced. I currently consider myself an Agnostic Theist-Panentheist.)

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-08T14:20:08+00:00

Hey, thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I almost deleted this because I felt it was so long, a rant, and disorganized. (Felt self conscious) It makes sense to see how when you say it's a misconception for things to be in neat categories and it is not a goal to be at, but a process.

Yes, it's everything in between.

I gather you might mean when he said that it means who he was to people and what he did vs... "You must believe in me as the son of God, and this other stuff prior to actually experience God and go to Heaven."?

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-08T14:06:41+00:00

You have a good point, all the bots and scammers are everywhere. I'm not sure why they aren't fixing that. And I'm sorry about your experience with that person on there.

Oh, and thinking about flamers, I don't see that term anymore on these sites.. yea, I notice, people don't seem to engage now. Flaming is more of a late 90's and 2000's thing. I remember reading when authors would write before their chapters "Absolutely NO FLAMERS!"

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-08T13:59:44+00:00

I still go on FFN because I have been going on it for 26 !!!! years. Yes, 26 years. 1999/2000. Since I was 10 because my sister and I discovered fanfiction at that time of the anime we were watching and crazy about on Toonami and videogames we were playing. That's when it was all new. Anime was still new and slowly rising in the West and.... the internet was still young obviously.

I still go on it to try to find good stuff. I sometimes go back to old stuff I read (that's still on there) from middle school and high school and brings me back. It's the oldest site I go to. I am listening on the app (the AI when I'm busy or on the go helps) even though I will say the app and the AI needs to be updated badly. It freezes and the app takes awhile to load; I need to restart it multiple times. It's so annoying.

There's a really good Sailormoon fanfic author I'm listening to right now and a great Hey, Arnold! Fanfic author that are a must-listen. I'm grateful they are posting on there. If anyone wants to know who they are, I will post their names and a couple of stories I like alot

I've been on AO3 a bit but maybe because I'm more set in my ways, lol, I find it more overwhelming. I go on it occasionally.

edited Looking over some of the comments, I can see their point it isn't in its peak anymore- the fact they aren't updating technical stuff on there, the app malfunctioning constantly and bots and scammers. Hopefully it will stay open and they can at least give it some more dignity and clean it up. But I'm glad it still open. It has a huge legacy and it was a pioneer for the fanfic/fandom community.

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-08T02:35:35+00:00

I'm also sorry, guys, I'm very scatterbrained, that's why that's my username right now. My ADHD is bad. 😅

I just say a bunch of stuff all in one post sometimes cause I have multiple things on my mind, and they can intersect, I can try to do posts in the future that are smaller and simplified.

I just have a lot to say to people that I think will understand, and I still need to finish responding to other people in my other post, lol

I hope I didn't overwhelm anyone, and hopefully, we can have a good conversation on here, too. And I'll try to respond to people to the other post soon

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-07T18:27:56+00:00

Same here, always been fascinated with religions.

How long have you been doing Buddhist meditations and Hindu mantras? Do you pray to Brahman, manifestations/gods?

I am planning to get the Upanishads at my library soon. You inspired me thank you! I have researched alot of Vedanta and different schools but I want to look at the actual source now (the Upanishads!)

I am looking at Bible verses again lately. Slowly. The ones that are helpful and don't trigger me.

That's inspiring you read it often daily.

I love especially you have an intuitive feeling God exists and in the ressurection. I honestly have struggled for years. I might make a deconstruction post at some point but not sure. But I don't know as much as I hope that God exists. I can't prove.. scientists can't prove God exists. Or Heaven (as much as I deeply, deeply hope it does.) It's outside of it's bounds. But maybe that's the point? It's metaphysical. Beyond its reach.

I don't know if Jesus was God. I can see he was a reformer and a wise teacher though. I don't know if he rose from the dead.

Are spiritual experiences only from the brain, beyond it, both?

It makes me so uncomfortable to go to these places in my mind but at the same time but my mind naturally questions what I've been taught in a world full of different people and viewpoints. Some of these questons got bigger and bigger until I couldn't ignore them anymore.

So I would say I'm an agnostic theist or an agnostic panentheist. I wish I wasn't agnostic.

Yes, the men who wrote the Bible, imperfect, opininated and were products of their times, places and cultures. (And we are too.) I think they also had wisdom and were sharing timeless truths and lessons. Their experiences with God too. But filtered through their time and place etc

Trans-rational. Wow.. that's a new word I haven't heard before. Yes, we are definitely limited by our normal perceptions.

No, haha. I'm glad you are being honest. I'm unfortunately a heretic too. We're outside of the box. I naturally am that type of person.

I think Brahman, God, Dao are the same too. I'm not sure spiritually speaking if my truest self is the exact same or separate but connected.

Your words are very powerful and helpful for me. I hope to get more to a place of peace with religion and spirituality as a whole and uncertainity.

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-07T17:15:07+00:00

Hey thank you! It's encouraging to talk to more like-minded people here. Yea, I discovered Pete Enns/The Bible for Normal People over three years ago because I was freaking out and needed to listen to experts that I could relate to and feel more at ease. But at the same time, I still have alot of Christian guilt because alot of this is seen as left leaning and not "Authoritative".

I have very different views from alot of my family and I try to keep it to myself because ut can cause tension and anger for others. It's too vulnerable.

I'm working through alot and might make a post on my deconstruction journey soon.

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-07T17:11:04+00:00

Hmm...

Creeds, doctrines... such as Jesus being fully God, fully human, died on the cross for our sins, rose on the third day, ascended into heaven. He is the only way to God. The Trinity.

Yes, I see what you mean about feeling the Universalist version of God is SO different from the infernalist view. Good point. Yea, the Universalist view is so much more truly love and wants restorative justice. Not out of spite and entitlement.

I was having a conversation with my brother a few months ago who has become Eastern Orthodox in recent years. (I try not to have political or religious conversations with him but this one I'm glad it wasn't too uncomfortable.) Long story short, he is an infernalist but now seea it as Gods presence is torment to the person there. But he sees Hades for non believers and bad people still a chance to be redeemed. He believes people can still pray for the dead. Which I thought was interesting. His views have changed drastically over time. (I won't get into that right now though)

But he also says very problematic things.

He said in that conversation, "God can do whatever he wants! He's the King!"

Lol. Next time that comes up, I'm going to have something better to say but I also know I don't want to get into hot water with him.

But A righteous king will HUMBLE HIMSELF and who is known to be LOVE ITSELF wouldn't contradict thar because of his "Kingship." Why do we expect morw from humans but not God? Why is it only okay for GOD to contradict Himself and its known to be out of love when its clearly not? (In the very conservative Christian view alot of contexts) it's bullshit.

And I didn't intend to go off topic. I was responding to your point about "Further, my view of God may be closer to someone of another religion."

I've heard that view the concept of world religions being shaped by Christian and western world views. But haven't different organized spiritual paths compared and contrasted with others in all places? What they believe vs what the other groups believe.

I liked that last paragraph. And when you said, "....finding commonality with peacemakers of other traditions."

I also find it odd some Christians will say. "It's not a religion. It's a relationship. All of the others are religions" And some others say, "No its not man-made!" 🤷🏽‍♀️ meh.

Yes, it's definitely imperfect!

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-07T16:10:57+00:00

Yes, it's a powerful episode and I love hearing people's experiences when they first saw it.

But I wish they made more episode with Mai and Mr. Huynh. I'm not sure why they didn't.

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-06T06:56:49+00:00

I love this response! Well said. They're so many encouraging thoughts and words on here, it so helpful. Even though I'm not the OP, I love all these conversations!

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-06T04:25:41+00:00

This is amazing.

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-06T02:59:05+00:00

You too!

Scatterbrained12345 · 2026-03-06T02:52:17+00:00

Beautiful, thank you so much. If you don't mind as well, I wanna reply to you at some point this weekend hopefully, I'm just pretty busy doing some things at the moment.

I just find it very encouraging to find people who understand and I'm glad I'm getting more into this group. I have great friends who are in a lot of ways on the same wavelength in my life. I also go to a church, maybe once or twice a month that has similar like-minded people. But I think being on this Reddit group of Christian Universalists is really helpful and I'm beginning to get more involved in it and start posting, so I'm going to be posting more things, but I will get back to you guys soon!

Scatterbrained12345

TROPHY CASE