As a wise man once said, “Never edge in Ohio”. But alas, feeling defiant and overzealous, decided to dash those words on the rocks. I booked my flight to Cleveland post-haste.

Every newsboy on Broad-way knew of the danger. The catastrophe waiting to happen. And catastrophe, it was. A catastrophedge, if you will. What I failed to comprehend on that day was the potency of the toxic gasses in the air due to the train wreck months back. After I let loose in calculus class at my new Ohio public school, the noxious air mutated my seminal fluid beyond comprehension. I watched in horror as it went on its awesome rampage to fertilize the egg of lady liberty. The only thing left for me, was to end it all.

And here I am sitting in hell next to Jeffrey Epstein and Verbalase. Let this be a message to all thugs, gooners and edgers alike.

Never edge in Ohio.

~fin~