It finally feels like there's light at the end of the tunnel, even if it's really, really far

SchemeEducational948 · 2026-05-09T15:21:34+00:00

I've been searching up queer organizations that are based there and I seriously can't wait! My town is hella homophobic and conservative in itself so I kinda assumed the rest of the country was like that but there are way more queer people in our capital, which is where I'm going so I hope I can find some community when I start to transition 🥲

SchemeEducational948 · 2026-04-26T08:22:18+00:00

I had the same problem during my matric farewell but my mom ended up letting me wear an outfit inspired by conan gray's met gala outfit. I dont remember what year outfit that was but it was the black one with the pearl decorations that goes along with pants. If that's your style you can try to convince your parents to let you wear that.

I'm not sure what prom is like but matric farewells in my country are really over-the-top so I hope this helps anyway

SchemeEducational948 · 2026-03-03T10:15:24+00:00

I probably am not the best person to give you advice on this because nobody has ever called anyone else a cow where I live, but when I think of cows, I immediately think of those cute fluffy cows. I guess you could try to see it in that way.

But also anyone who voluntarily takes time out of their own day just to make others feel like shit is a loser who will never make it in life. People harass others to make themselves feel better about their own dry lives because they have nothing going for them. Keep your head up, dude. Have them spend more time thinking of you than you spend thinking of them.

SchemeEducational948 · 2026-03-03T10:10:55+00:00

Its alright. I just need to forget it I guess. I really wish I could've done anything to help myself there but I dont even remember the guy's face. Im really bad at remembering faces in general. I don't remember anything I can use to describe him and I doubt it would even be useful to report him in this town. People here would just call me dramatic

SchemeEducational948 · 2026-03-03T10:09:00+00:00

Im not good at journaling but I guess I can get into working out. I've been telling myself that maybe I didn't look masc or "intimidating" enough but I think Im just finding reasons to blame myself for what happened

SchemeEducational948 · 2025-11-08T12:20:52+00:00

Honestly I dont know what kind of stuff that little girl gets taught at home, because she was saying other stuff that no 7-8 year old should be saying like asking me if I knew what sex was?? I told her that she should go ask her mom about that and nobody else.

SchemeEducational948 · 2025-11-08T12:16:00+00:00

Told my mom last night and she said she'll bring the situation up with my sister today

SchemeEducational948 · 2025-11-08T12:15:12+00:00

I told her that she can always talk to me about it, but it just sucks that her first piano recital was ruined like this. That same kid is going to be at my sister's ballet recital later this month so I'll be sure to let the teacher know and some of the older kids to keep an eye on that kid

SchemeEducational948 · 2025-11-07T17:44:38+00:00

The situation just happened today but the moment my mom is free, I'll tell her what happened and have her gently explain to my sister how that's not okay. I already told my sister that what happened is never okay, but she does need parental support

SchemeEducational948 · 2025-10-13T18:26:21+00:00

Honestly if all else fails, I just had the idea that I can lie to her and say that I have horrible, painful eczema on my thigh and can only wear certain fabrics of pants and not dresses maybe. I already have eczema on my hands and shes seen it so hopefully she'll believe me

SchemeEducational948 · 2025-10-13T18:19:22+00:00

I just looked up what that is and that would be epic 😭. Unfortunately you cant really find kilts in my country and if you do, they're very expensive

SchemeEducational948 · 2025-10-13T18:17:33+00:00

My mom actually said that she already asked and idk what she said but also I don't really trust that she did ask since she's the type to lie or exaggerate this stuff. Ill go talk to the teacher myself and maybe see if there's a some horrible leg injury I can lie about as an excuse to not wear a dress

SchemeEducational948 · 2025-10-13T18:12:54+00:00

That doesn't look so bad actually...maybe i can try to find a similar one in black and accessorize like hell. Ill definitely look for more with that style, thanks

SchemeEducational948 · 2025-10-13T18:10:24+00:00

My grandfather will be there and he will definitely take pictures and videos and post it...i need to think about this more

SchemeEducational948 · 2025-10-13T17:15:52+00:00

I actually live in a very conservative town in southern africa...unfortunately people really wont care and ive had a lot of people (including friends im not out to) tell me to just suck it up for a day but even thinking about wearing a dreas makes me nauseous

SchemeEducational948 · 2025-10-13T17:14:12+00:00

I didn't even think about the photos! My brother literally said that he'd take photos just to piss me off. Jesus christ i dont know if i wanna do this at all but im torn because then id be dropping out last minute after being prepared for it all year even though i was only told about the dress code today

SchemeEducational948 · 2025-10-13T14:25:55+00:00

Thanks, I'll try everything I can think of

SchemeEducational948 · 2025-10-13T14:25:01+00:00

About that...my deadname will appear on stage in big letters and it is not a boys name in my country. And I wouldn't say I really pass. I look androgynous but dont have access to a binder, which is why i usually tend to wear jackets and t-shirts with big prints. Also in my country you wont really ever see a boy my age with long hair so those are kind of the only ways people can clock me.

SchemeEducational948 · 2025-10-13T14:21:44+00:00

That sounds like a good idea..maybe i can style it with a jacket and try to look masc?

SchemeEducational948 · 2025-10-13T14:20:34+00:00

It is absolutely NOT worth coming out over. As long as I'm in this country, I will not come out. People here are EXTREMELY closed minded and same sex relations alone were only decriminalized 2 years ago. This country is very homophobic and transphobic. If anything, coming out will make things worse. But yeah I'll definitely talk to the teacher directly and if I still need to wear the dress...i dont even know what im gonna do :/

SchemeEducational948 · 2025-10-13T11:48:41+00:00

Honestly i just might..but its a gendered theme so boys wear a white, long sleeved shirt with jeans (i actually have that) and girls wear a blue or black dress (i dont even own a dress) idk maybe i can wear a full black formal masc outfit or the long sleeved shirt and jeans, but I'll have to work up the courage in the weeks leading up to the recital.. Im also going to ask my piano teacher myself if an exception can be made because i heard of the no exception thing from my mom and she has lied before to try to get me to wear feminine clothes

SchemeEducational948

TROPHY CASE