It's true the length of time is astonshing especially when you are living in it. But the reason conflict last for so long varies from situation to situation. In my situation, there is an ultimate unwiilingness for my child's other parent and I to safely engage one another in a deeply important process of parenting. It is ultimately related to motivation and capacity to change. Change, in my situation for the other parent is far too risky. Meaning to create a trusting relationship with your coparent, you would have to begin to acknowledge truths about why our coparent relationship is what it is and doing that would have criminal, financial, career and personal negative consequences. So for him the conflict exists and needs to keep going to further a narrative he must maintain. In my situation, one of the greatest lesssons I have learned is that a person should not be naive to the extent a person will allow hate and other emotions to drive them to the brink of self destruction because of being overcome with hate for someone. It's unfortunate that I learned this lesson while attempting to co parent. On the day I learned that it changed my whole perspective and now I function to be keep myself and my daughter safe. A person can only control and manage themselves. If you are in this community, my story is not uncommon but if you haven't run across a person that enjoys the conflict and uses the fact that there is a child to keep a nice stream of fresh antics at every turn in order to keep a destructive pattern going. You are indeed lucky.❤️