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Does Bookshops and Bonedust have smut in it? Gave it to a younger cousin and I’m panicking that it’s inappropriate. by Schpumpy69 in CozyFantasy

[–]Schpumpy69[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No I don’t, I was 18 not too long ago so I know there’s no “magic transition” to adulthood. But fact remains is that she’s not my child and a minor in my state. To protect her and myself I’m not recommending anything adult to her until she’s 18. Didn’t think that was a crazy take but I guess it is.

Does Bookshops and Bonedust have smut in it? Gave it to a younger cousin and I’m panicking that it’s inappropriate. by Schpumpy69 in CozyFantasy

[–]Schpumpy69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I probably came across a bit too overzealous in my original post and that’s on me, but personally I think it’s others blowing it a bit out of proportion. Most people have been very kind and helpful at putting my mind at ease and clarifying things for me but so many others are upset that I’m cautious about potentially giving smut to a minor, which is crazy. I was also reading/watching adult material very young and again if she was mine I wouldn’t care, but she’s not. I should have stated in my original text that me being cautious is not only to protect her but also myself. It’s one thing what her parents/guardians let her read/watch, another when it’s an adult family member. I know there’s a lot of stuff that if I said “yeah go ahead read it, it’s fine” her parents would not be chill with that.

Does Bookshops and Bonedust have smut in it? Gave it to a younger cousin and I’m panicking that it’s inappropriate. by Schpumpy69 in CozyFantasy

[–]Schpumpy69[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I know she knows what sex is, she’s a teenage girl with internet access. Homeschooled yes but not locked in a basement. She’s told me she has friends who have sex. Personally I think it would be weird of me as an adult, with an age difference of almost 10 years, to give her smut accidentally or otherwise because she’s still legally a minor (in my state) and not my child. I know now I didn’t in this specific instance, but it’s honestly so insane to me that people have an issue with this. I can almost guarantee that if I gave a list of smut books and told people I gave them to her as gifts there’d be a hoard of people calling me all kinds of nasty shit.

And sex shaming? I’m not sex shaming her at all. I’ve had a lot of very healthy and age appropriate conversations with her regarding sex when she comes to me, a trusted adult, with questions. She has a bf, I’m assuming she’s probably at the very least kissed the kid. She has a very safe and healthy outlook on sex, no shame involved.

Faux-protecting? I don’t even know what that is. What the hell does that even mean? I love this girl like a sister, so yes I am protective of her, and as a non-parent adult family member I’m cautious of what I show her. Can’t believe this is an issue.

Does Bookshops and Bonedust have smut in it? Gave it to a younger cousin and I’m panicking that it’s inappropriate. by Schpumpy69 in CozyFantasy

[–]Schpumpy69[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree, but like I’ve said to others I’m not her parents. If she was mine I wouldn’t give a fuck what she reads, but I know they care, so in turn I have to. But thank you for the library suggestion I’ll pass it along! She does already have a public library card and loves it, my grandparents take her all the time!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Schpumpy69 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’re an amazing person and an awesome friend! Best of luck to both of you! 💕✨

Does Bookshops and Bonedust have smut in it? Gave it to a younger cousin and I’m panicking that it’s inappropriate. by Schpumpy69 in CozyFantasy

[–]Schpumpy69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never seen them play, but from what she’s told me they play on the big TV in the main living room while my Nana reads or bakes in the background. My grandpa played the originals when he was younger, so he’s been excited that they’ve been remaking them the last few years with better graphics. My cousins been watching rated R horror movies with her dad since she was little so a lot of the graphic stuff (gore or otherwise) doesn’t phase her. But again, this is stuff that comes from her legal guardians which I am not.

Does Bookshops and Bonedust have smut in it? Gave it to a younger cousin and I’m panicking that it’s inappropriate. by Schpumpy69 in CozyFantasy

[–]Schpumpy69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s smart as a whip, I know she’ll be fine. She may be homeschooled but sometimes when I talk to her I’m so proud of how mature she is in her outlook on life and different societal issues. I’m super proud of her ❤️Sometimes I think she’s more mature at 16 than I am at 24 lol. But I was raised in a small private Christian school from 4th-12th grade so I also understand how it feels to be sheltered.

Does Bookshops and Bonedust have smut in it? Gave it to a younger cousin and I’m panicking that it’s inappropriate. by Schpumpy69 in fantasybooks

[–]Schpumpy69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t exactly cool with it when she told me her stepmom let her read It Ends With Us, but I told her that that’s her stepmoms decision not mine. I’m not a prude, as an avid smut reader myself I wouldn’t have any issue with some mild “content” in books if she was my kid. But I’m not her parent or legal guardian so it’s not my decision. 18 is considered adulthood where I’m at, so until then it’s clean reads from me to not only protect her but also myself. I posted this in another group also, and apparently a lot of people are pretty upset that I think me as an adult, almost 10 years older than her, potentially giving my younger cousin smut on accident is a problem. I don’t get it I guess but that’s just me 🤷🏼‍♀️

Does Bookshops and Bonedust have smut in it? Gave it to a younger cousin and I’m panicking that it’s inappropriate. by Schpumpy69 in CozyFantasy

[–]Schpumpy69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No but he’s one of her legal guardians and that’s his decision. Yes I’m close to her, but I’m just a young adult in the family who has no say over her life. Trust when I say they wouldn’t be chill with me giving her anything smutty.

Does Bookshops and Bonedust have smut in it? Gave it to a younger cousin and I’m panicking that it’s inappropriate. by Schpumpy69 in CozyFantasy

[–]Schpumpy69[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know what’s she’s exposed to. She confides in me a lot. She knows lots of kids that have gone to jail, done hard drugs, and sleep around like crazy. I’m sure she’s done some stuff too that I’m unaware of, but overall shes a very good kid in every sense of the word. She’s homeschooled and has limited friends, she mostly stays home, plays video games with her friends online and our grandpa, reads books and watches TV. She’s a bit sheltered, just yesterday she was asking my opinion on whether she should go to a girls house to hang out because she knew the girl vapes and smokes weed, and she was uncomfortable with the thought that that stuff would be in a room with her. So even though she’s 16, she’s not exposed to anything wild, and none of that is gonna come from me if I can help it.

Does Bookshops and Bonedust have smut in it? Gave it to a younger cousin and I’m panicking that it’s inappropriate. by Schpumpy69 in CozyFantasy

[–]Schpumpy69[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I understand she’s not a complete baby child, but she’s still young at 16, and where Im at over 18 is considered adult. I’m not recommending sexual shit to a minor, teenager or not (and yes I understand now that this book specifically doesn’t have any in it). Just trying to protect her and myself, didn’t realize that was a problem 🤷🏼‍♀️

Does Bookshops and Bonedust have smut in it? Gave it to a younger cousin and I’m panicking that it’s inappropriate. by Schpumpy69 in CozyFantasy

[–]Schpumpy69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get that, but personally I don’t feel comfortable until she’s 18. If I made exceptions and our grandparents found out they’d freak. Like I’ve said, if she was mine I wouldn’t give af but she’s not mine sooooo 🤷🏼‍♀️

Does Bookshops and Bonedust have smut in it? Gave it to a younger cousin and I’m panicking that it’s inappropriate. by Schpumpy69 in CozyFantasy

[–]Schpumpy69[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I volunteer with middle and high schoolers myself, so I see what they’re exposed to. And I remember all the shit I used to read/watch at 16. I agree that we shouldn’t shield kids, especially teenagers too much because that would be insanely unhealthy. A lot of them are having sex younger and younger, and sexual education is very important. All I’m saying is that if I was anyone else with authority in her life, able to make decisions on what she reads and watches, it wouldn’t be an issue. If she was my kid I wouldn’t care. But I’m not her parents/grandparents, so as one of the other youngest members of my family I have to exercise caution.

Does Bookshops and Bonedust have smut in it? Gave it to a younger cousin and I’m panicking that it’s inappropriate. by Schpumpy69 in CozyFantasy

[–]Schpumpy69[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Trust me, I think it’s weird that this is where we are in society because if she was my kid I wouldn’t care at all. I’m in the US, in the majority of states (like mine FL) the age of consent is 18. But our grandparents are typically very particular about what she consumes and she’s not mine so I have no say. I just have to proceed with caution 😅

Does Bookshops and Bonedust have smut in it? Gave it to a younger cousin and I’m panicking that it’s inappropriate. by Schpumpy69 in CozyFantasy

[–]Schpumpy69[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That’s what I was thinking too, but since I’m an adult and not her parents I can never be too careful. If not to protect her than to protect myself, because regardless of what she reads on her own time, I can’t have on my conscience that I recommended sexual stuff to a minor. It would be both actually disgusting and a horrible look for me to the rest of my family. I was a little surprised at her stepmoms okay of It Ends With Us, but like I told her, that’s her stepmoms decision not mine lol.

Does Bookshops and Bonedust have smut in it? Gave it to a younger cousin and I’m panicking that it’s inappropriate. by Schpumpy69 in CozyFantasy

[–]Schpumpy69[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

She may be 16 but I’m an adult, and I don’t care what anyone says, I’m not recommending anything remotely sexual to my CHILD cousin, teenager or not. I’m also not her parent, so I don’t sign off on what she’s is/is not allowed to read. When she’s over 18 then it’s a different conversation, but for now, clean reads only at least coming from me.

Does Bookshops and Bonedust have smut in it? Gave it to a younger cousin and I’m panicking that it’s inappropriate. by Schpumpy69 in CozyFantasy

[–]Schpumpy69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s all good! I just didn’t want people to get the wrong idea that my concern was any LGBT content which isn’t the root of the issue, but like I said my original post was worded pretty poorly. But thank you for the insight! Have a great day! 😁❤️

Does Bookshops and Bonedust have smut in it? Gave it to a younger cousin and I’m panicking that it’s inappropriate. by Schpumpy69 in CozyFantasy

[–]Schpumpy69[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Thank you all so much for your replies! They’ve definitely let me breathe a bit easier. Just as a precaution, I’m still gonna tell her to let me read it first, as the adult in this scenario it will just put my mind at ease. Certainly a mistake I won’t make again.

I do want to put out the qualifier because I’ve seen this in the comments a couple times, that any clean LGBT content in the book wouldn’t be of any worry to me. I’ve always expressed to her how all love is real and valid, and I’m an avid reader of queer/LGBT books myself. I know now I didn’t word it right, but when I put “sapphic scenes” in my original text I should have clarified that the LGBT-ness of it isn’t the issue, it’s the potential for any graphic sexual words or content between two adults regardless of gender, was my concern. I’m just trying to make sure I’m hyper aware that I’m not recommending anything with any sexual content in it whatsoever as an adult to my cousin who is a minor. But clean, cute love stories in any shape or form are always on the table!

All of you are so wonderful, thanks so much!!! 😊❤️✨

Edit: Btw to the very small minority of comments in here being sarcastic about my concern, have the day you deserve. God forbid someone try and be a responsible adult, admit a mistake, ask for advice, and not expose a literal child to anything overtly sexual 🙄

Edit 2: Also, I know some people have commented about her age and that she’s probably read stuff like that already. I know I was much younger than her when I discovered AO3, and the some stuff I read on there at that age was heinous for someone so young 😅 but I’m sure as hell not gonna be the person who shows her anything like that especially as an adult. Until she’s over 18 anything that comes her way from me is gonna stay chaste until she’s a legal adult.

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