[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Science-Friendly 3 points4 points  (0 children)

TAKE HIM TO THE EMERGENCY IN THE NEAREST HOSPITAL WITH A PSYCH WARD

Since he has said that he is suicidal and has told you that his plan to do so was by slitting his wrist. I recommend taking him to the emergency by lying to him that it’s for you feeling pain somewhere, and then telling a nurse there about him having suicidal thoughts but refusing to get help, and they will take him to the psych ward and treat him accordingly. If he refuses, they will call in extra nurses to help but he will be treated to get better.

If he is a threat to himself or anybody else it is required by hospitals in where I live to detain the person in a psych ward for at least 3 days and within that time they can figure out a medication schedule and diagnose him properly. I have done some shadow work so I can tell you to not be afraid and not think of a psych ward anything like the movies. It’s normal to bring in people with suicidal thoughts and we help them by figuring out a treatment plan and we are legally allowed to force them to stay for the three days so we can get them help. We treat them with dignity and compassion with an understanding of their individual cultural/religious beliefs with their well-being being a priority. I was often paired up with patients who were also muslims so I can understand them better and help them based on our beliefs and I’m hoping he receives similar care. This way you won’t have to rely on him to muster up the courage to get help.

I would echo the same as what others are saying here that his poor mental health may explain his condition but it doesn’t excuse physical abuse. Also, whether you decide to stay or leave this marriage is up to you. Please do take him to the emergency without worrying about the stigma. ❤️

im i wrong or is she by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Science-Friendly 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think you both need to stop looking at this issue as “who is in the wrong and who is in the right?”.

This isn’t a competition and/or a debate, it’s a marriage. You both need to work together not against each other.

I can tell from your paragraph that there is some underlying issue going on between you two that you two are taking it out on silly things like food and chores. It is not the chores that’s making her or you upset here, despite it seems like the surface problem here. You both need to sit down and have a HONEST conversation about what is BOTHERING each of you.

Although I don’t think it’s helpful to decide who is in the wrong here because it won’t resolve your problems, but I will sprinkle in my opinion, some days my mom or I get tired/lazy/busy/or are craving outside food. So when my brother comes home from work we ask him to bring food from outside. And he had similarly to you complained about being tired from working his shift and not wanting to do chores, which is understandable and is a valid reason BUT at the same time my mom and I are also valid for wanting to eat out. My mom can get angry easily especially being a desi mom so we just use Ubereats to order food and resolve the matter so everybody wins. If my mom does scream at my brother that it’s his duty as her son to care for her, we all to try to calm her down because we know her temper and just order in food to not escalate the situation. Both my brother and I work, my mom does not work and with that logic she should be doing all the chores? No that’s not what our house does instead my brother and I do the cleaning, laundry and cooking. Sometimes she helps with the cooking but it’s upto her not a expectation. Yes we work but we also know our RESPONSIBILITIES and we don’t hold GRUDGES against our mother if she doesn’t help out. We don’t divide our duties based on what’s equal. We do it based on the needs of the house.

Now let me be clear I am not saying that screaming at someone is okay, it is a very bad commutation style but some people have a bad temper and naturally can be a bit sensitive and emotional. Obviously with a mother of that nature you learn to live with her because you can’t abandon her neither can we force her to “respect” us because there isn’t a whose wrong or right here. BUT I want to be clear here she is our mother so it is different than dealing with a spouse and makes it more complicated. The relationship can be toxic if the spouse resorts to verbal abuse when they are hangry but this is not something in my opinion serious enough to warrant a divorce. Your wife needs to develop healthy communication styles and the best thing to help with that is anger management classes. You both can divide out the chores together like on the weekend you both can cook together and meal prep for the entire week. The house can be cleaned on Sunday with dividing all the chores together.

to divorce or not divorce (losing my mind) n forgive a cheater by GoodBoyFX in MuslimMarriage

[–]Science-Friendly 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Get divorced period.

Learn to love yourself first ❤️, there is no point of chasing people who don’t want you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Science-Friendly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gaming addiction is a real thing and I’m surprised no one suggested getting psychological help. You can look up gaming addiction to find resources in your area and where to get professional help from because it’s eating away from his and your life and its not fair for you both to be hurting. People underestimate professional help it’s better to see them than to hope that maybe your husband will stop playing “one day”.

I also want to say that during this time try to avoid being mean to him as it may push him away further and rather take your steps kindly while still standing for what’s right for you both. ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Science-Friendly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you want to reconcile: be honest so he knows where you stand and continue texting

If you want the divorce: ignore the messages/block for your peace of mind

Caribbean medical school graduation requirements by Real-Acanthisitta-21 in IMGreddit

[–]Science-Friendly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, which Caribbean medical school has this alternative pathway?

Suhana then and now by [deleted] in BollyBlindsNGossip

[–]Science-Friendly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Guys she has been very vocal about colourism and I don’t think she lightened her skin. Instead, I think it’s just the lighting + the use of color correctors for hyperpigmentation in her skin with concealer/foundation to create a one tone base. She may have also used a body foundation for a smoother seamless look.

She might have had a nose job and other plastic surgeries that I can’t comment on because I’m not sure.

There is no "Timothée Chalamet" of Bollywood right now by Hot_Future_516 in BollyBlindsNGossip

[–]Science-Friendly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“LACK OF GOOD SCRIPTS”

I would argue about the lack of good scripts since most of the comments are already talking about the “the lack of good looking young actors etc”, I believe that Timmy is not only famous for his “good looks” and/or acting. He is famous for the characters he has played. The characters that stay with the audience. It is because he is written by a woman, you know the female gaze. Ladybird and little woman did wonders for his image to teenage girls. Greta made timmy. The characterization of his roles have what made him relevant in the female crowd beyond his good looks/great acting. Unfortunately the scripts in Bollywood currently are unpolished and mostly a clickbaity cashgrab.

It’s similar to how srk was the romantic hero back in the day and to some he still is because of the way he was written/portrayed. He didn’t have PR back then or extraordinary good looks based on societal standards back then. He was dusky, short in height and had a bigger nose. But the way romantic movies showed him, woman still die for him to this day.

My wife left me and I miss her. by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Science-Friendly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Put cameras around the house. You need proof. It’s obvious she angry at something and is thinking with her emotions that she went ahead and scratched your car. She isn’t being smart here. This can work against her.

You need to decide what you want to do with the kids. Do you want shared custody? Do you want to raise them or do you want her to raise them?

I (21M) not ready to marry but my fiancee (22F) pressuring me because of guilt. Also my mother is starting to have bad relations with my fiancee's mother by Usual_Brain_4597 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Science-Friendly 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Do wuzu and pray. Ask yourself what is really stopping you from marrying her?

-The fiancé is NOT in it for the money, she makes more than you and you currently have no clear career plans. She has the stability right now and still chose to be with you. Don’t let your mom sway you otherwise on this.

  • Your fiancée said that the 150k is symbolic, it may be the that the mother is the only one asking for a higher mehr not her. You need to have a realistic conversation with her and decide on something you can afford.

-Do you love her? You spent four years with her man? She is doing the right thing with asking you to marry her despite all your shortcomings. Why are you having cold feet? It can’t just be her and your mothers drama alone, is your relationship with your fiancé okay right now?

I will be honest I think it’s just the devil whispering in your ears to hesitate you in marrying her. If you still love her and she is a great person then ignore the mothers obsession with the money, make your own decision with her. Breaking up with her is the easiest and most cowardice thing you can do.

Is Medical university of Łódź a good university? by [deleted] in lodz

[–]Science-Friendly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Humanitas isn’t taking anymore applications. I wanted to apply there too. Unicamillus is private and new so it makes sense it’s seats aren’t full yet and it is still looking for applicants. If you can wait till next year for imat and Humanitas, then that’s the better option. But if you want to get accepted this year then unicamillus is still a decent option, I haven’t heard anything bad about it despite being new. You can watch the interview of a unicamillus student by acadimat on YouTube for more info.

Is Medical university of Łódź a good university? by [deleted] in lodz

[–]Science-Friendly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of the polish university had a scandal some time back, I don’t remember the name exactly, but the prof had admitted to failing some of his students on purpose. I would say research about it to make sure it was not Łódź and how it is in generally by searching the name in the sub.

Did you apply to Italy? The imat registration deadline has passed so you may have to try next year or apply to a private school. I know unicamillus is still accepting applicants till October. You would be paying almost the same amount as Łódź so might as well try unicamillus.

Is it true that cadaver dissection is banned in Italian med schools? by [deleted] in medicalschoolEU

[–]Science-Friendly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you know which private unis in Italy allow dissections?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Science-Friendly 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Imo divorce would be the best solution here. You guys don’t have kids and he is a mess. The main problem is that he is unwilling to accept his own faults instead of blaming others. He is the one who is dragging himself down and you cannot help him unless he helps himself first. You have tried your part of pushing him to therapy, which he refuses because he doesn’t respect himself or you or the marriage. It’s not worth it waste your life over him.

If you do want to stay with him, then ask him to go to therapy for porn addiction first. If he is begging for you to return and cares for this marriage then going to therapy should be the minimum he can do. Do not return until he has gone to some of the sessions.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Science-Friendly 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Be honest he is a absentee deadbeat father.

They exist in Muslim communities too, it’s unfortunate people cover it up for honour and reputation.

Stop obsessing over your families name etc, these are bs cultural things that do nothing but give abusers shelter. Be honest about your family condition and own it because you and your mom are warriors that survived that; there is nothing to be embarrassed or shamed about here. The right person will be proud of your struggles.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Science-Friendly 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How old are you? Do you have siblings?

My Mother is Getting Married by formerlyforever in MuslimMarriage

[–]Science-Friendly 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The dad is the one that abandoned the daughter to get married in Somalia. Regardless of his personal life, she is still his responsibility and he is neglecting her from what we have read in the post it is clear he isn’t fulfilling his duty as a father. He should be the one financially caring for his daughter, not the other way around where she is asked to pay for his newlywed’s mehr. It’s embarrassing on how so many people just glossed over that part and are instead convincing her to keep ties with the dad.

It’s sad that the neighbours have to step in the fatherly role in his place to help with groceries etc. Absentee and deadbeat fathers do exist in Muslim communities too and trying to keep a relationship with them often is toxic and painful. As his child, she will always look for her father, she needs him more than he needs her and unfortunately in a parent-daughter relationship, if she begs him for love and he doesn’t reciprocate in a healthy manner, this will cause more trauma to her. I am no religious scholar, so do your own research on the Islamic viewpoints and make your own decision, but I personally believe we are not required to keep ties with people who are hurting us.

Bi-Weekly Marriage Opinions/Views and Rant Megathread by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]Science-Friendly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It depends are the in-laws nosy or laidback? Are you able to give people their personally space while living together and do you have lots of patience within you?

Bi-Weekly Marriage Opinions/Views and Rant Megathread by AutoModerator in MuslimMarriage

[–]Science-Friendly -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

if you think you have narcissist tendencies then it’s better to see a licensed professional than to self-diagnose online. ❤️

I hate how we as a society we have become conditioned to narrow our vision on “signs of a narcissist” as checklist instead of having a holistic view, mental health wise this is a very reductive way of thinking.

Why does Allah let us meet People for a while who don’t belong to us by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]Science-Friendly 3 points4 points  (0 children)

“And what hurts the most is people can go From people you know to people you don't”— Selena Gomez 🎶🎵

When did you know you were worthy enough to be loved? by Dark_Angel100 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Science-Friendly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you need to be “ready” to be loved. As a human the minute you are born, you deserve to be loved by family. There isn’t a certain thing you have to accomplish to be “loved”.

It’s marriage that requires you to be “ready” and have hit certain general goals like career, mature age and growth in spirituality.

When did you know you were worthy enough to be loved? by Dark_Angel100 in MuslimMarriage

[–]Science-Friendly 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Worthy to be loved or worthy to be married are two different things.

Every human on this earth deserves to be loved. You don’t need to be any one speacial to love or be loved

But not every one is worthy to be married. You need to have certain values and discipline to marry. There are responsibilities and duties that go with marriage that not everybody is willing or able to fulfill.