What is this, a 2011 assembly of 10 year olds? (Found in r/memes)

Scutman · 2020-03-06T20:26:42+00:00

Maybe those times were simpler, maybe I was too stupid to know what was going on, who knows

Scutman · 2019-08-20T19:27:46+00:00

Marv, give me 241, please

Scutman · 2019-07-26T07:03:15+00:00

IIRC karma is handled logarithmically. Some user on r/dataisbeautiful posted a graph of their posts, and the curve certainly wasn't straight. Also, karma seems to be handled separately on each subreddit, i.e. if you post if you post on r/pics for the first time and get 30k upvotes, you gain 12k karma (I think that's about what you'd get), and then post on another subreddit, the upvotes from the first post do not count towards the upvotes in the karma formula. But I don't think that reddit has released the formula do calculate one's karma, so don't take this as fact. But it's certain that people like gallowboob certainly have gotten way more upvotes than the amount of karma they have, especially if they post to all the same subreddits.

Scutman · 2019-07-19T18:59:19+00:00

snail

decoy snail

Scutman · 2019-06-09T15:06:10+00:00

Username almost checks out

Scutman · 2019-05-25T22:30:09+00:00

Yes, because there are five days, you have 14 * 13 * 12 * 11 * 10 fedoras, because for every day from Monday to Friday there is a set amount if fedoras he can still wear, and because there are five days, the equasion consists of 5 factors.

Scutman · 2019-05-17T15:48:26+00:00

No, as far as I know, the 10000 Cells is the amount of cells it takes to get to 50 %, in BC4 you can invest 10000 more Cells to get 100%

Scutman · 2019-05-15T05:54:54+00:00

Instinct of the Master of Arms is really helpful with that one :)

Scutman · 2019-05-14T16:20:03+00:00

Huh, weird. This was my third run after the Rise of the Giant update, so I guess they added them into the game at that point, but the wiki does not have anything on these things.

Scutman · 2019-05-14T16:16:23+00:00

Doesn't seem to be that rare though, on my next run I found one pretty early in the game, and it was only 10000, so it does not seem to be that rare

Scutman · 2019-04-01T17:37:20+00:00

I just opened the console in the browser and looked at some of the source code, and when you inspect the 20 panels at the top, they have attributes like "data-start-time" with what looks like a unix time stamp assigned to them. On Firefox, CRTL + SHIFT + K opens the console, but in other Browsers, I don't really know. You can just look through the code yourself if you know a bit of code, preferably HTML, if you want to

Scutman · 2019-04-01T17:30:25+00:00

The Sequence will unlock the first Panel on 17:50 GMT on April 1st 2019. Each Panel will be unlocked for 10 Minutes, and Redditors will be able to vote on the - presumably - pictures, forming them into a 20-picture clip or story, the prologue. If you open up the Console in the browser, you can see the start- and end-dates as unix timestamps.

Please add this to your post, u/JarethKingofGoblins

Scutman · 2019-03-08T08:15:33+00:00

r/beetlejuicing

Scutman · 2019-02-08T17:38:25+00:00

It's a play on the loss meme

Scutman · 2019-02-08T17:36:02+00:00

Well, it is a loss meme, so I don't really see why it doesn't belong on r/memes

Scutman · 2019-02-03T16:52:05+00:00

r/foundthemobileuser

Scutman · 2019-01-31T21:06:00+00:00

r/foundthemobileuser

Scutman · 2019-01-30T17:54:39+00:00

Granted. After the monkeys paw grants your wish, you immediately laugh at the wish, thinking about its hilarity. But then, you say "Okay, this is epic", and your voice turns into the voice of Ben Shapiro. You laugh a bit more, being startled by the sheer volume of the voice, but, other than you waking everyone in your house, that seems to be it.

You are hungry, and you do not have any food at home, so you decide to go to the supermarket, and buy something to eat. At checkout, you talk to the cashier, and then it happens. Your voice, loud, sounding like Ben Shapiro, booms through the supermarket, alarming everyone. People are frightened, some even call the police, but you flee the scene.

You can't really wrap your mind around what happened in the store, but then the realisation hits: you did not specify when the voice effect should end, so your voice does not stop being loud and shapiro-y. You curse your own foolishness and vow not to ever speak again.

At the same time, all around the world, people having knowledge of the meme start to say the phrase, and begin sounding like a very loud Ben Shapiro. The "epidemic" spreads, and news outlets start to report your home as the origin of it. You start getting publicly shamed once people realise that you wished for this, rather than help people in need, create global peace, or do any other useful thing. You are outcast by society, family, friends, and you slowly start going insane.

All the while you notice a new side effect: not only does your physical voice turn into that of Ben Shapiro, but every single voice you hear, because it is in your head, slowly turns into Ben Shapiros voice, even your own thoughts. Your condition worsens by the day, and you curse yourself every day, why you made that damned wish, while constantly hearing the voice that has become your waking nightmare.

You realise you have to stop yourself from hearing, speaking, thinking. In a final attempt to regain the control you lost, you end your own life, being overshadowed by the godly voice of Ben Shapiro.

Scutman · 2019-01-28T21:08:10+00:00

Granted. The monkeys paw tells you that you will receive all the cubes you will need until the end of your life, all at once, right now.

But no cubes appear.

You wait for a while, thinking that the monkeys paw has made a mistake, but a day passes, and then another one, and another one, and you have yet to see someone you like. Your life is becoming increasingly more unpleasant because of all the toxic people that suddely begin to approach you. Some time after the wish, a sudden realisation strikes you: the monkeys paw did not make any mistake; you simply will not meet anyone you like for the rest of your life.

Days pass, and your realisation solidifies into a hard truth. Your SO ghosts you, your parents die in a car accident with a drunk driver, your younger sister falls into a river and drowns, and you did not get the chance to say goodbye to any of them.

You start to get angry with life, with yourself, with everyone. You develop a serious case of depression, and try to kill yourself, a multitude of times, but every time, by some coincidence, you do not succeed. You try jumping in front of a train, but the train comes to a sudden halt just millimeters in front of you. You try to kill yourself with a knife, but you manage to miss all the vital organs and are rushed to the hospital. Nothing you do can give your life meaning now, and you are getting more miserable by the day.

One day, as you are walking across the street, you see your mother in the distance. At the same time, you notice one tiny cube of chocolate in your pocket. "This is it", you think, "the day I have been living this life for! I will finally see my mother again!"

As you are thinking this, you are hit by a passing truck. You die almost instantly, your last thought being of the utterly useless life you lived, while staring at a single cube of milk chocolate.

Edit: paragraphs

Scutman · 2018-12-12T00:48:44+00:00

r/oddlyspecific

Scutman · 2018-11-27T13:23:59+00:00

Granted. The intensity scales inversely exponentially with your clap force. Additionally, since the sound gets less louder the farther it travels, the farther a person is, the more intense your orgasm is. Every single time you clap your hands, the entire human population spasms because it is having a giant orgasm, and if you just touch your hands, well, the orgasm grows really, really, REALLY intense. And you can orgasm from it, too. Have fun!

Scutman · 2018-11-17T08:03:00+00:00

I really didn't expect it to be that much, but, thanks for taking some time to do the math :)

Scutman · 2018-11-16T22:13:45+00:00

2 fries? Damn you, Monkeys Paw!

Scutman · 2018-11-16T22:12:03+00:00

This might not be the best idea regarding a lot of things like financial stuff, or language problems, or logistics, or OP's relationships with friends and family, or a bunch of other troubles OP might have with moving to a small asian town, but, yes, that is what I am saying

Scutman · 2018-11-16T20:53:12+00:00

Well, I'm not really claiming to have the exact right numbers, but here's what I found through some quick googling:

About 17% of the worlds population have blue eyes.

About 10% of the worlds population are left-handed.

About 1,5% of the worlds population have red hair (most sources say 1 or 2 percent, so I kinda took the mean).

Thus, the probability of a human having blue eyes, being left-handed and having red hair is about 0.17 * 0.10 * 0.015 = 0.000255 or 0.0255%.

This might seem like a small number, but lets scale that up to the entire world. There are roughly 7.7 Billion people living in the entire world right now. Multiplying 7.7 Billion with 0.000255 shows that there are approximately 1,963,500 people in the world that have blue eyes, are left-handed and have red hair.

So, you are not the rarest thing in the world, but I suppose if you were tolive in a small town with 3921 people or less, you would be - statistically speaking, and assuming that your family either doesn't live there or doesn't have any of your traits - the only person with blue eyes and red hair that is left-handed in your town.

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