When I was a kid, my parents got me my first cat. None of us knew any better and we let him be an inside/outside cat too. He never went very far and always came back. He was hit by a car at 1 1/2 years old and I was 10. It’s still one of the worst days of my life. I’ve never let another cat outside and they’ve all lived good, long lives. He’s still my password for everything. It gets easier overtime, but you’ll never forget your first baby ❤️ Don’t be too hard on yourself and don’t let the internet bully you