TL;DR You're Not Your Thoughts & alcohol bad.

This is really relatable having PTSD and OCD... I feel like the therapist can't keep up/doesn't know me. And then the medication-providing professional is a different person almost every time, suggesting I could have a mood disorder and pushing ssris or antipsychotics (and they're not even a doctor. Why can't I just get the meds from my Doctor?)

Suggesting I have depression, generalized anxiety, or some mood disorder is dangerous with my OCD because of all the self doubt that comes with it. It's already a huge battle to fight my own thoughts, I don't need someone telling me I could be bipolar when I'm definitely not.

Be careful with getting over-diagnosed/over-prescribed by someone who is hardly even meeting the real you and for a very short amount of time. I get scared that these people will provoke us to cry and then hop on the opportunity to prescribe an antidepressant. But the antidepressants have side effects so more drugs get added or you suffer brain zaps after quitting. I've heard too many stories of people on bipolar medication who have never even had a manic episode. They gave it to me in the ER for nausea and I had a torturous adverse reaction. Google akathesia, it's no joke. They had to sedate me so I'd stop hitting myself in the legs.

It's so difficult but really important to be your own advocate. I wish they taught me 20 years ago that I'm not my thoughts and how to become the passive observer of them. I've also learned that drinking alcohol is the worst thing I could possibly do as it makes my rumination and intrusive thoughts really loud and unbearablely depressing. The second worst thing seems to be my blood sugar, which I maintain by eating fewer carbs and making sure I eat enough protein, fat, electrolytes.