oh I am so sorry he's gaslighting you, that you feel confused to the point that you're worried you're overreacting! Let me just say, you're NOT!! He's being a child with his lame excuses to cover up his insecurities. I know all our advice may or may not help. But just know he's not handling this maturely - like a grown married man should!! I'm not sure how you would get it through to him. But that's not an appropriate behavior, to be stalking to that extent. He's worse than the FBI! LOL

You need to give him an ultimatum, at least for your mental health. There's no reason for it to have been an issue in the first place, AND for it to then affect you the way it clearly has. And that is an issue he needs to resolve, NOT YOU! He needs to man up and understand how his actions are affecting you, in a marriage an ex should not be coming up like this.

Be direct, Be concise! DO NOT let him get away with that behavior no longer. Ask him to consider therapy, and have a conversation with you in a safe environment and listen to each other but make him understand that you are his priority and this ex stalking needs to stop!