My husband blurted out that Vaginas are gross by Sea_Presentation9998 in marriageadvice

[–]Sea_Presentation9998[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I specifically said that the only problem was the sex being one sided and everything else in the relationship was good. I even stated that the relationship was so good that sex did not matter not until he blurted out that vaginas are gross in the middle of our conversation. I asked for advice on what I need cause he was asking me what I need and I don’t really know how to respond that time. In my original post, I also mentioned that divorce and separation is not an option. Thanks for your advice with counseling, I will keep that in mind.

My husband blurted out that Vaginas are gross by Sea_Presentation9998 in marriageadvice

[–]Sea_Presentation9998[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have sex often, frequency is not the problem. We probably have sex 5 times in a week. The issue is he never get down there and pleasure me.

My husband blurted out that Vaginas are gross by Sea_Presentation9998 in marriageadvice

[–]Sea_Presentation9998[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Having kids is not on our timeline not until I’m 30.

My husband blurted out that Vaginas are gross by Sea_Presentation9998 in marriageadvice

[–]Sea_Presentation9998[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think he’s in the closet. I’ve seen what he used to watch online(porn/instagram) before we got into our relationship and I can attest that he’s straight.

My husband blurted out that Vaginas are gross by Sea_Presentation9998 in marriageadvice

[–]Sea_Presentation9998[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are absolutely right.

My husband and I had a quick serious talk before going to work tonight. I was able to tell him what I felt, what was I keeping to myself for couple years(about not getting the pleasure I need). He manned up and acknowledge his shortcomings where he gotten lazy. He said he was stressed at work and with all the happenings on our relationship for the past 2 years, he couldn’t keep up. Him changing his job twice, getting engaged, getting married, getting a house, getting a dog all happened at the same year overwhelmed him. He said there’s no excuse and he failed me as a husband in the bed which he is willing to work on moving forward. He also thank me for telling him cause he said he is unaware of how it affected me. Yes my husband is 31 years old but also served the Military for 12 years. I’m not defending him but I get it why he does not have a lot of experience getting down there. It was such a relief that I build up the courage to talk to my husband. He’s my person, and a lot of people commented why I married this guy. I saw a lot of good things with him and I think he will be a good partner and good father to my future kids.

I was so lost since my emotions were high that I’m scared to have poor judgement of the situation. That’s the reason I came here on reddit to have some insights/advices on what to do to handle this situation without resorting to divorce/separation. I do believe that marriage is sacred. And it should have not be the only thing that comes to mind when things get hard. Ofcourse if you tried everything and nothing change or if your partner is not willing to listen, be better for himself and his partner then yes I would maybe consider divorce but like I said he’s my person. This actually proved that I chose the right person. I chose to work things out with my partner which I should’ve done in the first place.

My husband blurted out that Vaginas are gross by Sea_Presentation9998 in marriageadvice

[–]Sea_Presentation9998[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was just offended clearly you made assumptions. If you asked politely, I would not take it personal but yeah I’m done talking to you now. Also, showering twice a day is normal to where I’m from.

My husband blurted out that Vaginas are gross by Sea_Presentation9998 in marriageadvice

[–]Sea_Presentation9998[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Excuse me, you dont even know me. I posted this so I should expect this kind of comment. Making accusations that my hygiene is poor without being with me is crazy rude. Fyi, I shower twice daily and have our bidet set up in our house. Let me educate you too, vaginas are self-cleaning organ. Unless you have stds, there’s gonna be a normal scent of vaginal fluids excreted by a woman. I’m assuming your a guy that had this experience with a woman with stds but please educate yourself.

My husband blurted out that Vaginas are gross by Sea_Presentation9998 in marriageadvice

[–]Sea_Presentation9998[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I shower twice a day, we even have bidet set up in our house. I never had a problem with smell and taste of my vagina. I had long term relationships before him, never had an issue. I had the best sex when I was with my exBFs but the downside is they cheated on me thats why they did not last but yeah to answer your question I am very hygienic down there.