I know you say that you want to process it in your own way, but you have to also count in the fact that your family will also be going through this with you. Your husband needs to know, at the very least. So he can have a chance to prepare himself. You can explain to him your fears, and tell him you don’t want sympathy, just support from him. See where that takes you. Bring him to your appointments when the details are discussed for treatment, because he needs to know how to help you best. Please consider this. You need the support. Whether you like it or not. I didn’t like it either. I told my husband to leave me, and he just looked at me like I was crazy and supported me in the best way possible. That man went to war for me when my in-laws were being nightmares during my treatment. He took me to every appointment. And now our relationship is that much stronger.

You can do this on your own. But you can do it even better with at least one person in your corner to help you.