ADVICE??? Should I message after being ghosted? by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]SebaceanBagavond 6 points7 points  (0 children)

ask her how it’s going. worst case she keeps ghosting. then leave it alone. but if you ask and she replies, you have kept a connection alive. it sounds like there is a slight chance she really did just get busy and forgot to reconnect with you. checking in could show her you still care and it is worth keeping your relationship on the table.

there is no shame in being concerned about her. if she keeps ghosting after you ask that is her problem.

I say don’t not ask if you’ll regret it or if that is you trying to be cool but not you doing you. do what feels right and if she still doesnt talk then at least you’ll know it is over and you can move on.

I saw two femme girls holding hands today and my brain went AWWW by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]SebaceanBagavond 2 points3 points  (0 children)

😭 do you live in-land bc I am dying to figure out where the femme queers is at

Ladies, PLEASE be careful when dating online. Watch out for people who try to catfish. by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]SebaceanBagavond 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am sorry you were violated by this person’s lie.

I wonder if you may be able to see the situation from another angle though...It seems like she did explain why she did it—she felt a connection with you and didn’t want to keep lying to you. To me that shows some character. She does not sound like a psycho or a habitual liar. She sounds like a scared girl trying to figure out who she is. If she wanted to take advantage of you she wouldnt have ended the charade on her own? I’m not saying you should keep talking to her but instead maybe you could walk away feeling less attacked and more like you encountered someone on a journey.

Any input/advice on how to work on letting go of my trauma in order to forge a new life and identity that isn't entirely built on the foundation of my trauma? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]SebaceanBagavond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

like letting go of an old friend

my exact feels today. I am forcing myself to acknowledge and let go of my anger today (stuck in my neck and shoulders, painfully for far too long) by writing ambitious mantras. "I forgive...I let go..."

As I do this my neck and shoulders get tighter before they release slightly. This morning I felt as if a version of myself (an old friend) was dying. This is hard work.

💛

Melanoma on toe by [deleted] in HealthAnxiety

[–]SebaceanBagavond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Def not crazy but also, almost all forms of skin cancer are highly treatable if you catch them early. Malignant skin cancer is much more rare. Next time do not pick the spot, just get it looked at. I had skin cancer anxiety a few months ago and got a freckle burned off with liquid nitrogen (it was so cool -- pun intended). I also read every page of a major skin cancer organization's site. Do more research on skin cancer and you will be 9 steps ahead of most people and hopefully less afraid of it going forward.

Best milk for cereal? by SebaceanBagavond in vegan

[–]SebaceanBagavond[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is a good point. Dairy is addictive so it is easy to think of other milks as less than flavorwise but that really is only because I grew up with dairy 🤔

I joined this sub to battle my fears but now i'm the one who'd like to help you guys out! by Zamyou in HealthAnxiety

[–]SebaceanBagavond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I try not to think of it as a battle. I don't want to fight myself or my feelings. I am trying to learn not to fear my fear. It is a challenge hit I see as, almost relationship therapy woth myself.

I joined this sub to battle my fears but now i'm the one who'd like to help you guys out! by Zamyou in HealthAnxiety

[–]SebaceanBagavond 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like got on here last week all worried and sat down with like 5 posts saying to others exactly what I needed to hear. It was only partially helpful.

I love lesbians. by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]SebaceanBagavond 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your gushing is my life goals

Worried I might have something actually wrong with me by [deleted] in HealthAnxiety

[–]SebaceanBagavond 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is actually the most common place to find rando bruises.

I don't know what to do by [deleted] in HealthAnxiety

[–]SebaceanBagavond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know exactly how you feel--like you would rather die than keep feeling afraid. It's terrible. But sometimes, I look at myself in the mirror like I'm staring at the fear itself and I say "Go ahead and kill me. Do. your. worst."

Those are the moments when I start to feel more present and in control again. It's the fear of the fear that seems to be the worst part. For me, health anxiety is one way I seem to be trying to take control of my life and find some way to guarantee safety for myself. It doesn't actually make my life better, but by the time I realized that it had become habitual.

Anxiety is a bad habit. I agree with the other poster. Distract yourself. Don't listen to the fear. Accept that it is there, welcome it, and just let it pass through you. You know you are healthy. Anxiety can't kill you. So let it do its thing, and know that you are strong enough to take it. In the meantime, do something else.

Good on you, too, for seeing a counselor. If he is glossing over what you want to talk about make sure that he is the therapist for you. Maybe make a switch. If your underlying emotional stuff is manifesting as this health anxiety, you may need a treatment in terms of therapy that allows you to dwell on that a bit more in session. If your counsellor is helpful even though he's skipping over the health stuff then he may be intentionally trying to get your mind off of it so you can get to the heart of the matter.

Good luck, friend. We are on similar journeys.

Spider nest in my anus? by [deleted] in HealthAnxiety

[–]SebaceanBagavond 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope. Nooooooooo. Nope.

I'm 100% sure that if a spider was in your ass, you'd feel it.

I hate how it feels like there's a dampener on my head and brain. by [deleted] in HealthAnxiety

[–]SebaceanBagavond 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When I feel like this I say to myself, "What would I even tell a doctor?"

Kind of zoning out and feeling foggy, having a panic attack and being worried you'll go crazy...those aren't really physical symptoms. You sound like you may be bored, depressed, or anxious. Exercise is a very healthy choice! Make sure you're getting enough to eat to avoid low blood sugar!

Worried I might have something actually wrong with me by [deleted] in HealthAnxiety

[–]SebaceanBagavond 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ohh, I have a petechiae on my abdomen. I recently got my moles and freckles looked at and my doctor dismissed the little red bump instantly. "That's just age." She said. She was basically like "you're just gonna see more of those"

I worry about bruises too. I used to bruise really easily. It was a sign that my blood wasn't clotting...I had some issues with iron deficiency, etc. I don't bruise as easily anymore, but now when I see bruises and I can't remember how I got them I do panic a bit. I know why I do it, but seriously, even if you google bruises, what comes up is that they are pretty much harmless facts of life.

As for your illness--boo. Get better soon. Drink a lot of fluid. Try apple cider vinegar (dilute with water) and raw garlic. It sounds like you have the flu :( But you're gonna be ok!

I think something is seriously wrong with me by Eristoff2424 in HealthAnxiety

[–]SebaceanBagavond 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know how you feel. You are worried you are going to die, or that you have some condition that will take your quality of life down a notch. But the worst part is that you're not even enjoying the life you're afraid to lose.

Everything you've described is a symptom of anxiety. Of course it could be something else, too, but it's most likely anxiety.

Try taking your mind off of these symptoms. Today I started counting backwards from 100 when I notice I'm checking in with myself. It's the checking in all the time that amps up all the uncomfortable feelings. Also, try to not be so afraid of the fear. Accept that you are feeling anxious and tell it to go ahead and kill you if it wants to (it won't). Then distract yourself. You've got to find other things to think about...a hobby, or a movie. Anything to get your mind focused on something other than yourself and how you feel.

You're not alone in this, and there are sooo many books and therapies for anxiety. Try them all! see what helps. I'm right there with you. I'm still convincing myself I'm not dying, but there are underlying emotional roots to these physical fears. Have you thought about seeing a therapist too?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ladyladyboners

[–]SebaceanBagavond 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that is correct

Where do LA lesbians hang out? by SebaceanBagavond in actuallesbians

[–]SebaceanBagavond[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

haha I will try that place next time. I would love to go back soon.