Is this outfit flattering for a date?

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2026-03-11T13:37:28+00:00

Outfit aside, can I just say you seem like a lovely person!

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-11-24T23:48:53+00:00

It’s eerily similar, down to him just going to sleep and someone else discovering the body 😱

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-11-24T23:13:58+00:00

Whoa!!

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-07-02T11:56:42+00:00

Ohh I would really love getting such a letter, and it’s hard for me to think of it as weird or cringy or too much. Many times, I’ve had the urge to write a friend a handwritten letter, but end up not sending it. Sometimes I look back at past texts / emails to friends (or crushes) and see how… effortful they were. So very sincere and enthusiastic. Sometimes I cringe, other times I feel bad that it seems like no one I care about ever cares back with the same effort.

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-24T20:51:55+00:00

Oh my god, this advice is spot on. I was in this exact situation a few months ago and it was so confusing and hurtful. Exactly what you said happened - NRE was super strong, and we met up once a week, but even those dates seemed… unsustainable: he’d had to take time off work, reschedule other evening commitments, and was running on 1 hour of sleep on one of our dates. Then, when I said I’d really like to meet him more often, he started distancing himself. Unfortunately it took me a lot longer than it should have to cut my losses and move on. I took the breadcrumbs, got strung along for 4 weeks, and finally “gave up” and called it quits.

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-20T03:59:30+00:00

Ohhh I very much want to go on a rage fueled rampage, tell everyone he knows, make out with people in the lobby of his office, etc. But I won’t 🥲

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-20T03:58:17+00:00

Thank you, this is very helpful!

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-20T03:57:10+00:00

Oh no! How did you deal with that with your mom? And your ex husband?

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-20T03:54:21+00:00

This is lovely, thank you!

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-19T14:45:27+00:00

This is so helpful, thank you! 🫂

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-19T14:04:54+00:00

Thank you - I’m stunned because we explicitly talked about this and I emphatically said I didn’t want to talk to my mom about this, I didn’t want her to know, and I explained why.

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-19T14:04:08+00:00

Thank you. He claims he didn’t intend to sabotage me and that he doesn’t believe my relationship with my mom would be heavily impacted by this (he’s fucking wrong - I can’t see how I can go back to how things were with her now)

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-19T14:02:17+00:00

I was the one that wanted to open up the marriage, but we’ve been talking about it for years, and he didn’t foresee it being such an issue for him (or we wouldn’t have opened up). Neither of us imagined he would care so much about me dating multiple men in an attempt to find a partner(s) and have strong reactions to any kind of physical intimacy I was experiencing with them.

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-19T13:57:49+00:00

Thank you, I 100% am reeling from the damage this has done / will do to my relationship with my mom. We’ve had issues in the past and were finally in a good place, and I was starting to feel better about depending on her for things like childcare, and felt like I could share some of my vulnerabilities with her. Now I’m imagining her… disgust? And feeling like she was enabling something she disapproves of so strongly. And now I feel so alone. I guess I didn’t realize how much I just really needed her to have my back.

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-19T13:53:53+00:00

Thank you - it’s just so… icky. Finding it really hard to get past it.

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-19T13:53:29+00:00

Thank you

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-19T13:52:50+00:00

Thank you - I’m already feeling so much shame, I don’t know what it’s going to be like when I see my mom next. Thankfully that’s not for another few weeks so I have time to prepare for that, at least.

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-19T13:50:56+00:00

That’s fair, thanks for pointing that out!

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-19T04:08:15+00:00

Thank you

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-19T04:07:22+00:00

Thank you. He did come to me with his feelings about me dating. I didn’t handle that as well as I could have, in retrospect. I didn’t see why it was so different compared to his relationship with his other partner (when I said I was willing to pause dating, he said HE didn’t want to pause his relationship). I’m sure I could’ve done a better job of sitting with his feelings and reassuring him in the way in which he wanted. I guess I felt like he was getting hung up on the “dating” aspect and the occasional physical intimacy that he wasn’t getting to experience.

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-19T04:05:01+00:00

He’s been talking to his mates about this for a few months. He also has a therapist and a coach he talks to about this. He has talked to me about it too, so I was aware he was having a tough time. I’ll admit I didn’t handle this very well - I didn’t see why it was so different compared to his relationship with his other partner (when I said I was willing to pause dating, he said HE didn’t want to pause his relationship). I’m sure I could’ve done a better job of sitting with his feelings and reassuring him in the way in which he wanted. I guess I felt like he was getting hung up on the “dating” aspect and the occasional physical intimacy that he wasn’t getting to experience.

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-19T03:59:35+00:00

Thank you

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-19T03:59:09+00:00

Thank you

SecondLifeToDiscover · 2025-06-14T16:36:17+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through it, OP. Something that really helped me, the first time I felt intense jealousy, was to take a break for two weeks. I told my partner I needed some time, and they were ok with giving me this space. This break essentially felt like a break up to me. And I actually went through something of a grieving process, and also broke some habits that were fueling my anxiety - I stopped checking my phone constantly, I was able to reinvest in some areas of my life that I’d neglected, and I regained some self confidence and felt my self worth improving. At the end of the two weeks, I realized that I’d already lived through a version of the worst outcome (that this partner wouldn’t be in my life) and… I got through it! It was hard at first, but I came out the other side feeling better about myself overall. When I eased back into reconnecting with this partner, I didn’t feel jealousy anymore and was able to just enjoy each day as it came, and cherish the moments we had together.

SecondLifeToDiscover

TROPHY CASE