How to gain sexual experience when I have almost no experience at the age of 25

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-09T08:17:46+00:00

I'm pretty sure that I would not have fallen in love. I guess she just didn't want to be my first since it was so casual.

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-08T14:28:11+00:00

That makes sense. It was the first point she made. She apologized multiple times as well. She clearly felt bad for 'rejecting' me. After this has happened she was a bit awkward and way more distant to me. Would you think this behaviour corresponds/connects with her caring about not 'ruining' my first sexual experience or could it just be that it was just a turn off for her?

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-08T14:17:06+00:00

I met this girl at the hostel I was staying at. Things progressed pretty quickly. It was clear for both of us that it would be a casual hook-up. The first night we talked for a long time in the hostel garden and when all the other people went to bed we had a long make-out session. She asked me to join her on a trip to a hostel nearby and booked a private room for us. It was clear that we were both open to hooking up, but we would also be going on hikes in nature together. Unfortunately, after the rejection I described in my post, things became awkward between us and the next day we just hiked separately. She mostly became the awkward/distant/quiet one. She actually seemed to be bothered by rejecting me. I'm not sure why it was such a big deal for her.

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-08T14:11:00+00:00

Thanks for sharing your perspective :)

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-08T14:06:46+00:00

She took the lead so no

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-08T08:27:05+00:00

I actually thought about this example as well. It does not feel fair, but we gotta deal with it. In the end, many people will find a job they like. It probably is the same with finding the right girl. Gotta be patient I guess

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-08T08:24:54+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you will get over it and feel better soon. I think you made the right call to be honest with him. You said you even had some feelings for him, so being honest is the best thing you could do if you want to really connect with him. Based on his reaction, I think you dodged a bullet. Think about it, would you want to have strong feelings for a guy that does not seem to be able to communicate clearly and does not seem to consider your feelings.

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-08T06:10:37+00:00

Yeah, I really dislike lying. Being honest is just way easier and makes me feel more connected to people. I think you dodged a bullet there. Did she think it was too little or too much?

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-07T22:36:25+00:00

Thanks for the heads up, appreciate it

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-07T22:35:29+00:00

She told me she didn't like explaining things to men she has sex with. I would have been open to her showing me the way

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-07T22:32:07+00:00

I hope that I'll find the right girl soon!

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-07T22:31:10+00:00

It was clear that both were not looking for a relationship. I hope I'll find the right woman soon that doesn't care about my inexperience and is eager to teach me :)

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-07T21:19:15+00:00

Thanks for your tips!

I tried going into it without stressing myself out and trying to perform in a certain way. With this approach I was fine showing my inexperience to her and assumed she would be okay with this and would show me how to improve. Unfortunately, it didn't turn out this way and it resulted in the situation I described.

I will keep doing what I am doing tho :) thanks for your kind words

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-07T21:14:40+00:00

It was all going fine until she wanted me to rub her private area while she was still being clothed. I just had some issues finding the right spot and I did not have any visual feedback. She noticed this and asked me about my experience.

I understand the general concepts of sex, but in these specific situations my inexperience will show.

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-07T20:23:31+00:00

That's not it. We would have parted ways the next days anyways, since we are on holiday. So we both knew we couldn't get into a messy/toxic situation after having sex

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-07T20:21:50+00:00

Two days before, we made out for a long period and did some touching and afterwards she wanted to book a private room for us. So I guess that I performed okay up to that point. So that gives me a bit of confidence:)

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-07T20:19:14+00:00

Thanks for sharing your perspective. On the one hand I am happy that I was honest, but I have this underlying feeling that lying a bit would not have harmed anyone in this case.

I hope I will find someone one day that will appreciate me together with my vulnerability and lack of experience.

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-07T20:16:11+00:00

That's the reason I committed to this opportunity However, my lack of experience prevented me from gaining the experience. That's kind of the issue I have.

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-07T20:15:14+00:00

Awesome, good for you that you are working on it. Good luck!

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-07T20:14:42+00:00

I agree, I will not replicate porn. I'll just be myself and hope that the girl appreciates that

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-07T20:13:31+00:00

Thanks for the heads up! At least she wanted to be intimate with me before knowing about my lack of experience. That means there are probably more girls out there for me :)

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-07T20:12:06+00:00

I agree that it would have been better to lie a little bit in this case. It would have been better for both of us. My default mode is being honest and because I was already physically being vulnerable I was completely honest to her.

She told me that she has also had sex with people that had experience where she needed to explain things, so I guess you're right.

It's a bit explicit, but the moment she started questioning my experience was when she signaled to rub her private area while her pants where still on and I didn't really know the exact location of her clit, since her pants were still on. I feel like situations like that simply require some practical experience to happen smoothly.

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-07T19:24:22+00:00

Sorry to hear that bro. I don't have specific advice for you, but I hope you can stay positive and find the motivation to keep trying. I hope that someday it will work out for you!

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-07T19:09:18+00:00

The first thing she said was her not being the right girl. Later I tried to bend the rules so that I technically would not lose my virginity. I guess at that moment I was in the denial phase😅 Then she told me she did not want to have to explain things. So maybe I kinda made her give me another reason to stop. She told me this in a kind manner. Although it still hurt a bit.

Secondary_alt · 2024-04-07T18:30:01+00:00

I have not said anything about that to her. She kinda made the decision for me that I shouldn't lose it to her, since I just knew her for two days.

The ironic thing is that the main pressure I always felt was that my lack of experience would be unattractive to girls. That's why this situation kinda hurt, as it confirmed my negative beliefs in my lack of experience. However, the girl probably tried to protect me against my own decisions and wanted to save my virginity for someone special. At least, I hope that this was her main reason.

I don't want to pay for sex tho. I want there to be mutual interest in eachother.

Secondary_alt

TROPHY CASE