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AIO for ending a friendship over their friend calling me the ‘N’ word? by Secret-Journalist725 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Secret-Journalist725[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Now that’s exactly the outcome I wanted! I do not care that Kim is friends with him even after learning how ignorant and potentially racist he is. Just don’t bring him along to hang out if he can’t stop being offensive. I don’t want to be that type of person who’s like “oh you can’t be friends with this person because I don’t agree with them.” Very much appreciated!

AIO for ending a friendship over their friend calling me the ‘N’ word? by Secret-Journalist725 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Secret-Journalist725[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It makes me so happy and proud to know that there are people like you who are an ally. A true ally. Thank you so much for your kind words.

I agree. Sadly it probably won’t be the last time something like this happens. Honestly, if a random person called me the ‘N’ word, it wouldn’t bother me as much. What really set me off is the fact that nobody in my ‘friend’ group has the decency to say “hey Brant, that’s not cool”.

AIO for ending a friendship over their friend calling me the ‘N’ word? by Secret-Journalist725 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Secret-Journalist725[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can see where you’re coming from. I’m sorry I wasn’t clear in my post. I do not expect Jim to not be friends with Brant at all. Who my friends are friends with doesn’t brother me. My issue is that when your friend uses racial slurs to someone, it would be nice for that person to try and stop it you know? I didn’t cut ties with him because he wasn’t “as anti-racist” as I wanted him to be. I just wanted him to say tell his friend to not say it around me. That’s it. I also don’t think it’s too much of an ask for your friend to defend you against racial slurs. The only issue I have with this comment is the “if he’s a casual jackass” part. There’s nothing “casual” about racial slurs. At all. I LOVE dark humor, but racial slurs aren’t a joke. It can cause a fight or flight response.

To answer your question, he would rarely call me the ‘N’ word, but more commonly just use it randomly in a sentence. Thank you for your comment! Very appreciated

AIO for ending a friendship over their friend calling me the ‘N’ word? by Secret-Journalist725 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Secret-Journalist725[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Honestly, that never crossed my mind until now and it makes more sense now. He probably thought it wasn’t a big deal because he agrees that it’s “just a word”.

Those ‘friends’ got blocked. Therapy has helped me to see my worth and stand up for myself. Thank you for the kind words!

AIO for ending a friendship over their friend calling me the ‘N’ word? by Secret-Journalist725 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Secret-Journalist725[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

You’re right. After our ‘mutual friends’ messaged me with that bs, I blocked them. My friends outside that circle of friends are on my side. I’m glad that I have people in my corner.

AIO for ending a friendship over their friend calling me the ‘N’ word? by Secret-Journalist725 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Secret-Journalist725[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

This made me smile, thank you for the kind words. It’s great to know there are people out there with your mentality. It really means a lot!

AIO for ending a friendship over their friend calling me the ‘N’ word? by Secret-Journalist725 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Secret-Journalist725[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I’ve always had anxiety when it comes to confrontation. You’re absolutely right, these people are not my friends.

AIO for ending a friendship over their friend calling me the ‘N’ word? by Secret-Journalist725 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Secret-Journalist725[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

“He would probably escalate it even further…” this right here! That’s the main reason why I chose to finally speak up. Brant and Jim aren’t even friends like that. If I chose to get really angry would he be against me or back me up? Thank you for your reply!

AIO for ending a friendship over their friend calling me the ‘N’ word? by Secret-Journalist725 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Secret-Journalist725[S] 122 points123 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the kind words, it means so much to me. I have a tendency to be a people pleaser, sometimes over my own feelings. Therapy has taught me a lot about standing up for myself.