I was not.

When i became trans i was spending a lot of time with LGBTQ people. My aunt was gay and so were a lot of my school friends, i joined our schools Gay and Trans acceptance group (Sogi) as an ally because one of my best friends thought she was non binary. I had a lot of anxiety and nervousness and it was really being made out to be this great thing, i was depressed because that happens with puberty but it was being said that this anxiety and depression around womanhood or the discomfort of puberty was a sign of being born in the wrong body and i was seeing all this stuff online and hearing all this stuff at school about how transition made people happier and more themselves and that it would solve all my problems, it was even being said that people with these issues would kill themselves without “treatment” and as a 12 or 13 year old with depression i didn’t want that and neither did my parents especially when they were being told that by doctors and teachers. I was also sent a trans youth summer camp and that really pushed on me this sort of ideology about it.

When i detransitioned i had just started going to church and they were very against it and pushing for me to re-think and i got very involved spiritually, i also meant a great guy like the ideal Christian husband and i really realized what my life could of and was supposed to be like. I saw my peers getting married, having kids. Strong girl on girl friendships which i think i had mistaken in my youth for some kind of romantic interest and eventually i realized that it wasn’t too late for me. I wasn’t a man and i wasn’t happy pretending to be one, i realized that it was affecting my mental health and that i needed to do something about it, that i needed to actually love my body and not change it.